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Grunkle Stan [narrating] Throughout the years, I've seen many things. (jumps into a small cart in a theme park) Car chases, street fights, crazy people... But this just ain't one of 'em. (turns around to see what's behind him and sees a missile going toward him)
The theme song starts playing.
Episode begins at the Mystery Shack.
Dipper (walks around the Mystery Shack) [quitly] Uh, where are you Mabel...?
Mabel jumps off the height she's climbed, surprising Dipper.
Mabel HA! I won again! [imitating a masculine voice] I am the ultimate hide-and-seek champion of the entire universe!
Dipper OK, I admit it.
Mabel Say it, say it--
Dipper (sign) Mabel is the coolest girl in the world and Dipper smells like himself. And I still don't get how that's an insult.
Mabel Yes! Success! Wait 'till I tell Grenda and Candy Chiu about this!
Scene cuts to Gruncle Stan watching TV.
Narrator Are your kids bored to death?
Grunkle Stan No.
Narrator Do they lie around looking for something to do?
Grunkle Stan No.
Narrator Are they causing problems because of this?
Grunkle Stan NO!
Narrator Then take them to the new Disney Land! [voice-over] Here in Gravity Falls, Oregon. [normal voice] Toys! Collectables! Food! And fun rides! Also with the new Sun Toucher, the highest ride in the entire world.
Dipper lookalike (gets off the ride) I think I'm gonna puke.
Narrator Completely safe for children over the age of ten! Don't waste your time! Visit the new Disney Land with your children-- [voice-over] --now!
Grunkle Stan Huh? And waste precious money? Never in the world!
Scene cuts to Mabel and Dipper in their room.
Dipper (sign) There's nothing to do around here! Mabel do you have an idea?
Mabel We could play hide and seek--
Dipper We just did.
Mabel Oh, yeah! But why can't we just go hunt monsters?
Dipper We can't. According to this book, it's the monsters resting season. At this time, the most untouchable of stars are aligned, creating a force beam which has no effect on us, but to monsters? They all fall asleep.
Scene cuts to a cave.
A giant bear wakes up happy in a very old cave.
Giant Bear Ah! After three hundred years of sleep, I am finally awa-- (gets hit by the beam) Hu--? (falls down on his bed asleep)
Scene cuts to Mabel and Dipper in their room.
Mabel Wow. But we still have nothing to do!
Mabel and Dipper (both sign)
Wendy Hey guys, wanna pull prank calls?
Dipper Um -- um -- sure!
Mabel [with a sad expression] Better than doing nothing.
Scene cuts to Gruncle Stan.
The phone starts ringing.
Grunkle Stan Well who could that be. (answers phone) Hello!
Wendy [with different voice] Hello, is that Stanford Pines on the phone?
Grunkle Stan Yeeeees???
Wendy [different voice] Congratulations sir! You have won one --
Grunkle Stan I have "won won"?
Wendy [different voice] No you have won one --
Grunkle Stan That's exactly what I said.
Wendy [different voice] Um, no, you --
Grunkle Stan Wait, are you mocking me? Are you trying to say I'm deaf? Alright, I may be old, BUT I'M NOT DEAF FOR GOODNESS SAKE!
Wendy [looks worried as Dipper and Mabel give her signs to close the phone] OK, um, let me rephrase that - congratulations sir! You have --
Grunkle Stan You don't have to repeat the entire ritual.
Wendy Could you just let me finish the sentence?
Grunkle Stan Alright.
Wendy You have won a million dollars!
Grunkle Stan Wha--? I'm--! Oh my good, this is the best day of my life! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Wendy But before you get the money, you have to say this sentence:

"I smell like Dipper."

Dipper He-he-- Hey!
Grunkle Stab Sure, I'll do anything! And I smell like Dipper. (phone is closed) Hello? Hello?
Scene cuts to Dipper and and Mabel's room.
Wendy and Mabel start laughing.
Dipper I don't get the joke.
Wendy Alright Dipper, your turn.
Dipper With pleasure.
Scene cuts to Gruncle Stan.
Grunkle Stan Hm, that was weird.
Phone starts ringing.
Grunkle Stan (answers) Hello?
Dipper [imitating Paper Jam Dipper] NANANANANA-NAAAAA-NAAAAA. AAXUXAASSUAA-AAAA. AAAA-KKKKKKKXXX-KKKKXXX-A!!!
The phone call gets closed.
Grunkle Stan Hello? Hello?
Scene cuts to Dipper and Mabel's room.
Wendy, Mabel and Dipper start laughing.
Dipper Alright Mabel, your turn.
Scene cuts to Gruncle Stan.
Grunkle Stan Meddlin' teenagers.
Phone starts ringing.
Grunkle Stan I know it's you, you little scum! You think you can outwit me, huh? Well nobody outwits Stanford Pines!
Mabel Ah, Grunkle Sta -- I mean -- [different voice] Mr. Pi--
Grunkle Stan Mabel, is that you? That's it, I'm coming upstairs!
Mabel (closes phone) He's coming upstairs!
Dipper Quick! Let's hide!
Wendy, Dipper and Mabel hide in the closet.
Gruncle Stan enters Dipper and Mabel's room.
Grunkle Stan Alright Mabel, where are you hiding? (he starts searching the closet)
Stan searches for hours but he still can't find the room.
Dipper takes off his coat and leaves it on the floor.
Dipper [quitly] It's getting real hot in here.
Grunkle Stan I can't find them. Oh, I quit.
Mabel I'm still the world's greatest hide and seek champion!
Dipper (closes Mabel's mouth) [quitly] No, Mabel, he'll hear you!
Grunkle Stan Huh? Who's there? (goes towards the closet, but accidently stomps on Waddles' tail, who's sleeping)
In pain, Waddles runs downstairs in the Mystery Shack. He ruins most of the attractions, completely destroying them.
Grunkle Stan (arrives downstairs) My attractions! Kids!!!!
Dipper Oh, we're so doomed.
Scene cuts to Stan trying to find a punishment for the kids.
Grunkle Stan Unbelieveble! I can't believe this! You two are gonna get punished! You too Wendy! You too Waddles!
Mabel But Gruncle Stan, we were just trying to have fun.
Grunkle Stan [with a sarcastic tone] So, offending people and disturbing them is called "fun" nowadays? There's no way I'm letting you guys slip through this without getting punished!
Mabel (makes a sad face, expressing that she wants to cry)
Grunkle Stan OH, no, no, no-- no-- no-- NO!
Dipper Gruncle Stan, I think she's about to cry...
Grunkle Stan (sign) Alright, I won't punish you.
Wendy, Dipper and Mabel (high-five each other)
Grunkle Stan But we gotta do something about this. But what!
Narrator Super fun rides!
Grunkle Stan (scratches himself)
Narrator Filled with entertainment!
Grunkle Stan (scratches himself)
Narrator Super delicious snacks!
Grunkle Stan (scratches himself)
Narrator Pefect for children who have nothing to do!
Grunkle Stan (scratches himself)
Narrator Entertainment for all ages!
Grunkle Stan (scratches himself)
Narrator [toward the audience] Ya know, good ol' me can't tell me if he's completely deaf or just ignoring me.
Grunkle Stan Shhh! I can't think from all this racket!
The sound of an exploding nuclear bomb is heard in the background.
Grunkle Stan That's it! I'll send them to Frisbey Land!
Narrator Disney Land.
Mabel Yeay!
Dipper What? Disney Land? That place is or five year olds.
Wendy I'm with Dipper on this.
Grunkle Stan Oh really? Or would you prefer -- watching dramatic romance movies!
Wendy and Dipper (look at each other) No, we're fine.
Grunkle Stan Well, you better get going.
As Wendy, Dipper and Mabel leave, Stan lies on the couch.
Grunkle Stan Ah. Finally.
Suddenly, the phone starts ringing.
Unknown voice Get downstairs.
Grunkle Stan Soos! It's time.
Soos (shakes his head in agreement)
The two open the door behind the vending machine and take the elevator to downstairs.
They arrive at a large room filled with secret agents testing high-tech weapons and training. They arrive at a door with the symbol of Bill on it. They enter the room which it leads to.
Unknown voice You have arrived.
The unknown person turns the chair he's sitting on around, revealing it's the 8 and ½ president of the United States of America, Quentin Trembley.
Grunkle Stan What could we do for you Mr. President?
Quentin Trembley (he reaches towards a suitcase he's carrying, pulling out 1)
Soos and Stan are shocked.
Quentin Trembley You're quite good, Stan Pines. You've done some tasks not even I could have performed. But it was just recently you let me down.
Grunkle Stan I don't seem to understand.
Quentin Trembley There lies your problem, Stan. You weren't capable of noticing that someone was able to find 3. Find it, and use it.
Grunkle Stan But sir, Gideon hasn't even laid his eyes upon 3.
Quentin Trembley Oh, I'm not talking about Gideon. I'm talking about your niece and nephew, Mabel and Rodrick Pines.
Grunkle Stan Well, technically, his name isn't--
Quentin Trembley The name doesn't matter! The fact that they have got 3 in their hands is what matters! And they're using it in hunting monsters!
Grunkle Stan Hunting monsters? But I thought that they were just making the stories up.
Quentin Trembley Well they weren't. They have found about twenty species of categorized and uncategorized creatures! And your assistant here has been helping them, slowly and slowly revealing our secrets to them!
Grunkle Stan Soos?
Soos It's true. But they're more than capable of helping us in stopping the awakening of -- you know who and stopping the apocalypse. They are more than capable of becoming a part of our society.
Grunkle Stan Soos, they're just children!
Soos Wasn't I one too when you recruited me?
Grunkle Stan This is different! We need agents who are capable of hiding their secret identity! And I don't think Dipper and Mabel count as such.
Soos I still think we're making a big mistake.
Grunkle Stan What do we do about this, Mr. President?
Quentin Trembley Take these. (hands over a pair of pens and sunglasses) Remove their memory and retrieve 3 - at all cost. Understood?
Soos and Stan Understood.
Quentin Trembley Also, take some weapons. Just in case.
Soos Justin who?
Grunkle Stan (hits Soos by the head) Not "Justin", "just IN".
Soos Oh. Well, we better get going.
Scene cuts to an agent creating weapons.
Grunkle Stan Agent 23-5-1-16-15-14!
Agent 23-5-1-16-15-14 Well, well, well, if it ain't good ol' Stan Pines. What is it this time, the Thin Man stole your lunch?
Grunkle Stan I see that you're still that sarcastic idiot -- Weapon. (starts laughing)
Agent 23-5-1-16-15-14 Very funny. What are you looking for here?
Grunkle Stan Weapons. What else could we be looking for, warning letters?
Agent 23-5-1-16-15-14 There hasn't been much new tech produced around here. But I do have something.

Due to not having much time on my hand, I'm not going to finish the fan fiction. But don't worry, I'll finish it when I have time.

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