Tourist Trapped/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy for the episode "Tourist Trapped." Feel free to edit or add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

Previous: "N/A"

Next: "The Legend of the Gobblewonker"

	The episode opens with a shot of the sun. Dipper starts to narrate.
Dipper Pines	(Narrating:) Ah, summer break.
	The camera pans to Hank grilling burgers while Shmipper and Smabble are running around and laughing beside him. Others sit at a picnic table.
Hank	So you want cheese on that, hon?
Hank's wife	Sure, Hank.
Dipper	A time for leisure, recreation, and taking 'er easy.
	The camera stops at the "Welcome to Gravity Falls" sign.
Dipper	Unless you're me.
	Mabel and Dipper Pines crash through the "Welcome to Gravity Falls" sign with the Mystery Cart, screaming. They are being chased by an unknown monster, which is knocking down trees.
Mabel Pines	(Looks back) It's getting closer!
	The monster tries to catch the cart but just falls short. The cart flies off a rock and lands roughly.
Dipper	My name is Dipper. The girl about to puke is my sister Mabel. You may be wondering what we're doing in a golf cart, fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror.
	The monster throws a tree in their path.
Mabel	Look out!
	The image freezes with Mabel and Dipper screaming as they run into the screen.
Dipper	Rest assured, there's a perfectly logical explanation.
	Cut to theme song. Cut back to Dipper and Mabel in the golf cart.
Dipper	Let's rewind. (Flashback to Dipper and Mabel in their living room at home) It all began when our parents decided we could use some fresh air.
	Their parents take their stuff away, give them bags and put some sunscreen on their noses. Cut to a map of Oregon. Zoom in to Gravity Falls.
Dipper	(Narrating:) They shipped us up north to a sleepy town called Gravity Falls, Oregon, to stay at our great-uncle's place in the woods.
	Cut to Mabel in the attic hanging up posters.
Mabel	This attic is amazing. Check out all my splinters! (Holds up hands, which have gigantic splinters sticking out of them)
Dipper	(Backs up into his bed, which Gompers is on; not narrating:) And there's a goat on my bed.
Mabel	Hey, friend. (Holds out her arm, and Gompers chews on her sleeve) Oh! Yes, you can keep chewing on my sweater. (Laughs)
Dipper	(Narrating:) My sister tended to look on the bright side of things.
	Cut to Mabel rolling down a hill of grass.
Mabel	Yay! Grass!
	A woodpecker pecks on Dipper's hat.
Dipper	(Narrating:) But I was having a hard time getting used to our new surroundings.
Stan Pines	(Jumps out at him wearing a mask) Boo!
Dipper	(Not narrating:) Ah! (Falls over)
Stan	(Takes his mask off) Ahahahaha! Hahaha!
Dipper	(Narrating:) And then there was our Great Uncle Stan. (As Stan slaps his knee) That guy.
Stan	(Coughs several times and hits his chest) It was worth it.
	Cut to Stan leading tourists through the Mystery Shack.
Dipper	(Narrating) Our uncle had transformed his house into a tourist trap he called "The Mystery Shack." The real mystery was why anyone came.
	The Jackalope's antler breaks off.
Stan	Ladies and gentlemen, behold! The Sascrotch!
	Cut to a Sasquatch wearing underwear. Tourists start speaking excitedly, and snap pictures. Cut to Dipper sweeping the wooden floor with a broom. Mabel is looking at stuff.
Dipper	(Narrating:) And guess who had to work there. (Not narrating; sighs)
Mabel	Ooh! (Reaches for large eyeball)
Stan	(Slaps her hand with his 8-ball cane) No touching the merchandise!
	Cut to Soos driving the Mystery Cart to the Mystery Shack.
Dipper	(Narrating:) It looked like it was gonna be the same, boring routine all summer. Until one fateful day...
	Cut to Mabel peeking through Stan-bobbleheads.
Mabel	He's looking at it! He's looking at it!
	Cut to a boy looking at Mabel's note.
Boy	Uh.. (Reading note:) Do you like me? Yes? Definitely? Absolutely!!! (Looks around)
Mabel	I rigged it!
Dipper	(Spraying a jar with water and wiping it; not narrating:) Mabel, I know you're going through your whole "Boy Crazy" phase, but I think you're kind of overdoing it with the "crazy" part.
Mabel	What? (Blows raspberry) Come on, Dipper! This is our first summer away from home! It's my big chance to have an epic summer romance!
Dipper	Yeah, but do you need to flirt with every guy you meet?
	Flashback to Mabel with a boy near a greeting cards display.
Mabel	My name is Mabel, but you can call me "The girl of your dreams." I'M JOKING! (Shoves him into the display) Ha ha ha ha ha!
	Flashback to a boy holding a turtle on a bench.
Mabel	(Jumps up behind him) Oh my gosh, you like turtles? I like turtles too! What is happening here?
	Flashback to the inside of a mattress store.
Mattress King	Come one, come all, to the Mattress Prince's kingdom of savings!
Mabel	(Hiding behind a set of colorful balloons; pops out head and whispers:) Take me with you...
Mattress King	Ah! (Cowers away from Mabel and drops scepter)
	Cut back to the present.
Mabel	Mock all you want, brother, but I got a good feeling about this summer. I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now.
Stan	(Walks through the door and burps, but it gets caught in his throat) Oh! Oh, not good. Ow.
Mabel	Aww! Why!
Dipper	Ha ha ha!
Stan	All right, all right, look alive, people. I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest.
Dipper	(Quickly:) Not it!
Mabel	(Quickly:) Not it!
Soos	Uh, also not it.
Stan	Nobody asked you, Soos.
Soos	I know, and I'm comfortable with that. (Eats chocolate bar)
Stan	Wendy, I need you to put up this sign!
Wendy	(Pretends to reach for signs) I would, but I, ugh, can't, ugh, reach it, ugh...
Stan	I'd fire all of you if I could. All right, let's make it... eenie, meenie, miney... (Points at Dipper) you.
Dipper	Aw, what? Grunkle Stan, whenever I'm in those woods, I feel like I'm being watched.
Stan	Ugh, this again.
Dipper	I'm telling you, something weird is going on in this town. Just today, my mosquito bites spelled out "BEWARE."
Stan	(Looks at Dipper's arm) That says "BEWARB." (Dipper scratches his arm) Look, kid. The whole "monsters in the forest" thing is just local legend, drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that.
	A fat, sweaty man laughs while looking at a Stan-bobblehead's head bobble.
Stan	So quit being so paranoid! (Gives Dipper the signs; Dipper sighs)
	Cut to a foggy forest with trees getting blown by the wind.
Dipper	Ugh, Grunkle Stan. Nobody ever believes anything I say. (Puts one sign up on a tree that says "To The Mystery Shack." He starts to hammer a nail on another tree trunk, but it makes a metallic sound. He taps the tree with the hammer, which makes more metallic sounds. He wipes away some dust and opens a secret window revealing a mechanical box with two control switches on top. He tests one control but nothing happens. Then he tries the other. Behind him, a hole opens up in the ground. Gompers bleats and runs away.) What the? (Looks inside the hole, and there is a book. He picks the book up and places it on the ground, and checks for people watching. He flips one page and an eye-glass is in it. He looks at the eye-glass and puts it down. He flips another page, and begins reading aloud:) "It's hard to believe it's been six years since I began studying the strange and wondrous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon." (Flips through pages) What is all this? (Stops at a page that says "TRUST NO ONE" and starts reading) "Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before he finds it. Remember: in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust." (Closes Journal) No one you can trust...
Mabel	(Jumps up behind a log) HALLO!
Dipper	AH!
Mabel	What'cha readin', some nerd thing?
Dipper	(Hides journal behind back) Uh, uh, it’s nothing!
Mabel	(Imitating Dipper:) "Uh, uh, it’s nothing!" (Laughs) What? Are you actually not gonna show me?
Gompers	(Nibbles the edge of the journal)
Dipper	Uhhh... (Glances at Gompers) Let's go somewhere private.
	Cut to a view of the Mystery Shack. Dipper and Mabel are in the living room.
Dipper	It's amazing! Grunkle Stan said I was being paranoid, but according to this book, Gravity Falls has this secret dark side. (Shows Mabel a page)
Mabel	Whoa! Shut. Up! (Pushes Dipper)
Dipper	And get this! After a certain point, the pages just.. stop, like the guy who was writing it... mysteriously disappeared. (Doorbell rings) Who's that?
Mabel	Well, time to spill the beans. (Knocks over a can of beans on the table) Boop. Beans. This girl's got a date! Woot woot! (Falls backward into the chair, giggling)
Dipper	Let me get this straight: in the half hour I was gone, you already found a boyfriend?
Mabel	What can I say? I guess I'm just IRRESISTIBLLLLE! (Doorbell rings twice) Oh. Coming! (Runs out)
Dipper	(Sits down in chair and begins to read the Journal)
Stan	(Walks in and sees Dipper) What'cha reading there, slick?
Dipper	Oh! (Throws the book under the seat cushion and grabs a magazine) I was just catching up on, uh... (Sees the cover of the magazine) Gold Chains For Old Men Magazine?
Stan	That's a good issue.
Mabel	(Standing next to Norman) Hey, family! Say hello to my new boyfriend!
Norman	'Sup?
Dipper	Hey...
Stan	How's it hanging?
Mabel	We met at the cemetery. He's really deep. (Feels his arm) Oh. Little muscle there. That's...what a surprise...
Dipper	So, what's your name?
Norman	Uh. Normal... MAN!
Mabel	He means Norman.
Dipper	Are you bleeding, Norman?
Norman	(With a red liquid dripping down his face) It's jam.
Mabel	(Gasps) I love jam! Look. At. This!
Norman	So, you wanna go hold hands or... whatever?
Mabel	Oh, oh, my goodness. (Giggles) Don't wait up! (Runs out)
Norman	(Points at Stan and Dipper and runs into the wall several times on his way out)
Dipper	(Narrating:) There was something about Norman that wasn't right. I decided to consult the journal.
	Cuts to Dipper in the attic.
Dipper	(Reading aloud from Journal:) Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes these creatures are often mistaken for... teenagers?! Beware Gravity Falls's nefarious... (Gasps)
	We see the journal page on The Undead. The picture of the zombie becomes Norman.
Norman	(As the zombie on the journal page:) 'Sup.
Dipper	ZOMBIE!
	Cut to Stan in the bathroom.
Stan	Somebody say "crombie"? What is that, crombie? That's not even a word. You're losing your mind.
	Dipper looks out the window to see Norman walking towards Mabel with outstretched arms while moaning.
Mabel	I like you.
Dipper	Oh, no! Mabel! No, no, Mabel, watch out!
Norman	Huh, huh! (Puts hands around Mabel's neck)
Dipper	AHHHHH!
Norman	(Removes arms, revealing flower necklace) Huhhh!
Mabel	(Gasps) Daisies? You scallywag...
Dipper	Is my sister really dating a zombie, or am I just going nuts?
Soos	(Screwing in a lightbulb) It's a dilemma, to be sure. (Dipper gasps) I couldn't help but overhear you talkin' aloud to yourself in this empty room.
Dipper	Soos, you've seen Mabel's boyfriend. He's gotta be a zombie, right?
Soos	Hmm. How many brains didja see the guy eat?
Dipper	(Looks down) Zero.
Soos	Look, dude, I believe you. I'm always noticing weird stuff in this town. Like the mailman? Pretty sure that dude's a werewolf.
	Flashback of a hairy mailman walking by Soos, who is eating his lunch outside. Soos scoots away from him, suspicious.
Soos	But ya gotta have evidence. Otherwise, people are gonna think you’re a major league cuckoo clock.
Dipper	As always, Soos, you’re right.
Soos	My wisdom is both a blessing and a curse.
Stan	(Shouting offscreen:) Soos! The portable toilets are clogged again!
Soos	I am needed elsewhere. (Backs out)
Dipper	(Narrating:) My sister could be in trouble. It was time to get some evidence.
	Cut to Dipper filming Mabel and Norman in the park.
Mabel	(Throws a Frisbee at Norman, who fails to catch it and falls over)
Dipper	(Stops looking through camera and frowns at Norman)
	Cut to Norman breaking through a door window to open it from the inside and letting Mabel inside the diner.
Norman	(Stumbles around and crashes, trying to follow Mabel)
Dipper	(Looks out from behind menu)
	Cut to Mabel and Norman frolicking in a field.
Norman	(Falls into an open grave, then crawls out, hand first, screaming)
Mabel and Norman	(Pause, then laugh)
Dipper	(Narrating:) I'd seen enough.
	Cut to Mabel and Dipper's room. Mabel is brushing her hair and Dipper enters.
Dipper	(Not narrating:) Mabel. We've gotta talk about Norman.
Mabel	Isn’t he the best? Check out this giant smooch mark he gave me! (Shows her cheek, which has a red spot on it)
Dipper	Ah!
Mabel	Ha, ha! Gullible. It was just an accident with the leaf blower!
	Flashback to Mabel with a leaf blower.
Mabel	(Putting a picture of Norman on leaf blower's tube) Kissing practice! (Leans in to leaf blower, but then it sucks in the picture and sticks to her face as well; she runs around) AHHH! Turn it off! Turn it off!
	Cut back to present.
Mabel	That was fun.
Dipper	No, Mabel, listen! I’m trying to tell you that Norman is not what he seems! (Shows her the Journal)
Mabel	(Gasps) You think he might be a vampire? That would be so awesome!
Dipper	Guess again, sister. SHA-BAM! (Holds book open to the Gnomes page)
Mabel	Agh!
Dipper	Oh, wait. I'm-I'm sorry... (Flips to Undead page) Sha-bam!
Mabel	A zombie? That is not funny, Dipper.
Dipper	I’m not joking! It all adds up: the bleeding, the limp. He never blinks! Have you noticed that?
Mabel	Maybe he’s blinking when you’re blinking.
Dipper	Mabel, remember what the book said about Gravity Falls? Trust no one!
Mabel	Well, what about me, huh? Why can’t you trust me? (Puts on star earrings) Beep bop!
Dipper	Mabel, (shaking her) he's gonna eat your brain!
Mabel	(Pushes him away) Dipper, listen to me. Norman and I are going on a date at five o’clock, and I'm gonna be ADORABLE, and he's gonna be DREAMY, (pushing Dipper out of the room)
Dipper	Bu-bu-but—
Mabel	And I am not gonna let you ruin it with one of your crazy CONSPIRACIES! (Slams the door)
Dipper	(Sighs and sits down) What am I gonna do?
	Cut to the clock, which tells the time at 5:00. The doorbell rings.
Mabel	(Pulls on her sweater as she races downstairs) Coming! (Sees Norman) Hey, Norman. How do I look?
Norman	Shiny...
Mabel	You always know what to say! (Walks off with him)
Dipper	(Watching the video he collected) Soos was right. I don’t have any real evidence. (Video shows Mabel teaching Norman hopscotch, but he only falls over; Dipper fast forwards to Mabel and Norman with Norman's arm around Mabel) I guess I can be kind of paranoid sometimes and— (on the tape, Norman's hand falls off; he glances around, then reattaches it) Wait, WHAT?! (Rewinds the tape and watches it again; he screams and tips the chair backwards) I was right! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! (Races outside) Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Stan!
Stan	(On a stage in front of a bunch of tourists; to the crowd:) And here we have Rock that looks like a face rock: the rock that looks like a face.
Unnamed hillbilly	Does it look like a rock?
Stan	No, it looks like a face.
Fat Tourist	Is it a face?
Stan	It’s a rock that looks like a face!
Dipper	Over here! Grunkle Stan!
Stan	For the fifth time! It's-it's not an actual face!
Dipper	Errrgh!
	Cut to Mabel and Norman in the woods.
Mabel	Finally, we’re alone.
Norman	Yes. Alone...
	Cut back to the Mystery Shack.
Dipper	Stan! Stan! (Sees Wendy drive up in a golf cart and runs over) Wendy! Wendy! Wendy! I need to borrow the golf cart so I can save my sister from a zombie!
Wendy	(Gives Dipper the key and walks off) Try not to hit any pedestrians.
Dipper	(Gets in and starts to drive, but Soos stops him)
Soos	Dude, it's me: Soos. This is for the zombies. (Gives Dipper a shovel)
Dipper	Thanks.
Soos	(Holds up a baseball bat) And this is in case you see a piñata.
Dipper	(Takes the bat) Uh... Thanks? (Drives off)
Soos	Better safe than sorry!
	Cut back to the woods.
Norman	Uh, Mabel, now that we’ve gotten to know each other, there’s... (exhales) ...there’s something I should tell you.
Mabel	Oh, Norman, you can tell me anything! (Thinking:) Please be a vampire, please be a vampire!
Norman	All right, just... just don’t freak out, okay? Just... just keep an open mind, be cool! (Unzips his coat and throws it off; underneath are five gnomes standing on top of each other. The top gnome speaks)
Jeff	Is this weird? Is this too weird? Do you need to sit down?
Mabel	(Stares at the gnomes in total shock)
Jeff	R-r-right, I’ll explain. So! We’re gnomes. First off. Get that one outta the way.
Mabel	Uh...
Jeff	I’m Jeff, and here we have Carson, Steve, Jason and... I’m sorry, I always forget your name.
Shmebulock	Shmebulock.
Jeff	(Snaps his fingers) Shmebulock! Yes! Anyways, long story short, us gnomes have been lookin' for a new queen! Right, guys?
Gnomes except Jeff	Queen! Queen! Queen!
Jeff	Heh. So what do you say? (Taps Steve with his foot, and the gnomes work together to make "Norman" kneel in a proposing fashion) Will you join us in holy matrignomey? Matri...matri-mo-ny! Blah! Can’t talk today!
Mabel	Look... I'm sorry, guys. You're really sweet, but, I'm a girl, and you're gnomes, and it's like, "what"? Yikes...
Jeff	We understand. We'll never forget you, Mabel. (The gnomes look sad and Mabel smiles) Because we're gonna kidnap you.
Mabel	Huh?
Jeff	(Yells and jumps at her)
Mabel	(Screams)
	Cut to Dipper driving through the woods.
Dipper	Don't worry, Mabel! I'll save you from that zombie!
Mabel	(Off-screen) Help!
Dipper	Hold on!
	Cut to the gnomes trying to pin down Mabel.
Jeff	The more you struggle, the more awkward this is gonna be for everybody! Just, ha ha, okay. Get her arm there, Steve!
Mabel	(With Steve biting her sweater arm) Let go of me! (Punches Steve off)
Steve	(Bounces around, then stand upright and pukes a rainbow)
Dipper	What the heck is going on here?!
Gnome	(Hisses at him)
Mabel	Dipper! Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes! And they're total jerks! (As a gnome pulls her hair) Hair! Hair! Hair!
Dipper	Gnomes? Huh, I was way off. (Takes the journal out of his vest and reads the relevant page aloud:) "Gnomes: little men of the Gravity Falls Forest. Weaknesses: unknown." (When Dipper lowers the book, he sees that the gnomes have managed to tie Mabel to the ground)
Mabel	Aw, come on!
Dipper	(Walks up to Jeff) Hey, HEY! Let go of my sister!
Jeff	Oh! Ha ha, hey, there! Um, you know, this is all really just a big misunderstanding. You see, your sister's not in danger. She's just marrying all one thousand of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity! Isn't that right, honey?
Mabel	You guys are butt-faces!
Gnome	(Covers her mouth)
Mabel	Mmmm-MMMMM!
Dipper	(Holds up the shovel he brought, pointing it at Jeff) Give her back right now, or else!
Jeff	You think you can stop us, boy? You have no idea what we're capable of. The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle with the—
Dipper	(Casually tosses him away with the shovel)
Jeff	AH!
Dipper	(Cuts Mabel free with the shovel)
Mabel	Yah! (Kicks gnomes away; Dipper and Mabel get in the cart)
Jeff	He's getting away with our queen! No, no, no!
Dipper	Seatbelt. (Mabel buckles, he backs up and then he drives away)
Jeff	You've messed with the wrong creatures, boy! Gnomes of the forest: ASSEMBLE! (Various gnomes come out and stack up)
Mabel	Hurry, before they come after us!
Dipper	I wouldn't worry about it. See their little legs? Those suckers are tiny! (Stops the cart as he hears a stomping sound; a giant stacked gnome stops at the cart)
Mabel	Dang.
Jeff	(On the top, using gnomes' hats like levers) All right, teamwork, guys. Like we practiced. (Gnomes growl)
Mabel	Move, MOVE!
Dipper	(Drives the cart away just as the gnomes smash their arm down and it breaks)
Gnomes	(Run frantically back into position and they chase the kids again)
Jeff	Come back with our queen!
Mabel	It's getting closer!
Gnome Giant	(Throws several gnomes at the cart)
Gnomes	(Chew cart and cause havoc)
Gnome	(Hanging from side of cart) Ha ha!
	Mabel elbow punches a gnome off. Shmebulock jumps up behind Dipper, who grabs him and slams him into the steering wheel out of annoyance.
Shmebulock	Shmebulock... (Falls out of the cart)
Gnome	(Jumps onto the cart and claws Dipper's face)
Mabel	I'll save you, Dipper! (Repeatedly punches the gnome off of Dipper's face and the gnome falls off with Dipper's hat)
Dipper	(Dazed from the punches) Thanks, Mabel...
Mabel	Don't mention it.
Gnome Giant	(Picks up tree and throws it)
Mabel	Look out!
Dipper and Mabel	AAAAAAHHHHHH!
	The cart overturns, landing next to the Mystery Shack.
Dipper and Mabel	(Crawl out of the cart)
Gnomes	(Approaches)
Dipper	(To the gnomes:) Stay back, man! (Throws the shovel at the gnome giant)
Gnomes	(Punches shovel in mid-air)
Dipper and Mabel	(Grab each other) Aaahhh!
Dipper	Uh, where's Grunkle Stan?!
	Cut to Stan in the shack with some tourists.
Stan	(Holding up a swirly pattern on a stick) Behold! The world's most distracting object.
Tourists	Oooh...
Stan	Just try to look away, you can't! I can't even remember what I was talking about.
Jeff	It's the end of the line, kids! Mabel, marry us before we do something crazy!
Dipper	There's gotta be a way out of this!
Mabel	I gotta do it.
Dipper	What?! Mabel, don't do this! Are you crazy?
Mabel	Trust me.
Dipper	What?
Mabel	Dipper, just this once. Trust me!
Dipper	(Glances at gnomes, then Mabel, then backs away)
Mabel	All right, Jeff. I'll marry you.
Jeff	Hot dog! Help me down there, Jason! (Climbing down to her) Thanks, Andy! All right, left foot, there we go, watch those fingers, Mike. (Approaches Mabel and holds out diamond ring) Eh? Eh?
Mabel	(Holds out hand)
Jeff	(Puts the ring on her hand) Bada-bing, bada-bam! Now let's get you back into the forest, honey!
Mabel	You may now kiss the bride!
Jeff	Well, don't mind if I do. (Leans up to kiss Mabel)
Mabel	(Leans out to kiss Jeff, then takes out leaf blower)
Jeff	Ah! Hey, hey, wait a minute! Whoa, whoa! Wh-what's goin' on?! (Gets sucked half-way into leaf-blower)
Mabel	That's for lying to me! (Increases the sucking power) THAT'S for breaking my heart!
Jeff	(Slowly getting sucked in further) Ow! My face!
Mabel	And THIS is for messing with my brother! (Aims; to Dipper:) Wanna do the honors?
Dipper	On three!
Dipper & Mabel	One, two, three! (Blast Jeff towards the gnome monster)
Gnome Giant	(Explodes into separate gnomes)
Jeff	(Flying off into the distance) I'll get you back for this!... (Other gnomes scream when they fall)
Gnome	Who's giving orders? I need orders!
Gnome 2	My arms are tired.
Dipper	(While Mabel moves the leaf blower back and forth, blowing gnomes away) Anyone else want some?
Gnomes	(Run off on all fours; one gets caught in a six-pack holder)
Gompers	(Picks the six-pack holder up and runs off) Blah-ah-ah.
Gnome in the six-pack holder	(In the background) Aaaaahhhhh!
Mabel	Hey, Dipper? I, um...I'm sorry for ignoring your advice. You really were just looking out for me.
Dipper	Oh, don't be like that. You saved our butts back there.
Mabel	I guess I'm just sad that my first boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes.
Dipper	Look on the bright side. Maybe the next one will be a vampire!
Mabel	Oh, you're just saying that!
Dipper	Awkward sibling hug?
Mabel	Awkward sibling hug.
Dipper & Mabel	(Hug and pat each other) Pat, pat.
	The two walk into the Mystery Shack.
Stan	Yeesh. You two get hit by a bus or something? Ahah!
Dipper and Mabel	(Begin to walk away)
Stan	Uh, hey! W-wouldn't you know it? Um, I accidentally overstocked some inventory, so, uh... how's about each of you take one item from the gift shop? On the house, y'know?
Mabel	Really?
Dipper	(Folds arms) What's the catch?
Stan	The catch is do it before I change my mind, now take something.
Dipper & Mabel	(Look around at items)
Dipper	(Picks up a blue pine tree hat from one of the shelves and looks in a mirror) Hmm. That oughta do the trick!
Mabel	And I will have a... (Grabs item from box, hides it, and twirls around) GRAPPLING HOOK! Yes!
Stan	(To Dipper:) Wouldn't she rather have, like, a doll, or something?
Mabel	(Fires the grappling hook up at the ceiling; it catches and pulls her up) GRAPPLING HOOK!
Stan	Fair enough!
	Cut to Mabel and Dipper's bedroom. Dipper is writing while Mabel jumps on her bed, laughing.
Dipper	(Writing in Journal while narrating:) This journal told me there was no one in Gravity Falls I could trust. (Looking at Mabel) But when you battle a hundred gnomes side-by-side with someone, you realize that they've probably always got your back.
Mabel	(Shoots grappling hook, then reels it back with a stuffed animal attached)
Dipper	Hey, Mabel, could you get the light?
Mabel	I'm on it! (Knocks light out the window with the grappling hook) It works!
Dipper and Mabel	(Laugh)
Mabel	Grappling hook...
Dipper	(Narrating:) Our uncle told us there was nothing strange about this town. But who knows what other secrets are waiting to be unlocked.
	Cut to the Mystery Shack exterior. Stan walks in holding a lantern. He goes into the gift shop and puts a code into the vending machine. The machine opens, and Stan walks inside, looking side-to-side before closing it behind him.
	End credits: Steve pukes a rainbow for several seconds.