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Transcript This is a transcribed copy for the episode "Tourist Trapped." Feel free to edit or add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "N/A" Next: "The Legend of the Gobblewonker"
The episode opens with a shot of the sun. Dipper starts to narrate.
Dipper Pines (Narrating:) Ah, summer break.
The camera pans to Hank grilling burgers while Shmipper and Smabble are running around and laughing beside him. Others sit at a picnic table.
Hank So you want cheese on that, hon?
Hank's wife Sure, Hank.
Dipper A time for leisure, recreation, and taking 'er easy...
The camera stops at the "Welcome to Gravity Falls" sign.
Dipper Unless you're me.
Mabel and Dipper Pines crash through the "Welcome to Gravity Falls" sign with the Mystery Cart, screaming as they drive down through the woods. They are being chased by an unknown monster, which is knocking down tall pine trees.
Mabel Pines (Looks back) It's getting closer!
The monster growls and tries to catch the cart but just falls short. The cart flies off a rock and lands roughly.
Dipper My name is Dipper. The girl about to puke is my sister Mabel. You may be wondering what we're doing in a golf cart, fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror.
The monster throws a large tree straight in their path.
Mabel Look out!
When screaming the image freezes with Mabel and Dipper screaming as they run into the screen.
Dipper Rest assured, there's a perfectly logical explanation.
Cut to theme song. Cut back to Dipper and Mabel in the golf cart.
Dipper Let's rewind. (Flashback to Dipper and Mabel in their living room at home) It all began when our parents decided we could use some fresh air.
Their parents take their stuff away, give them bags and put some sunscreen on their noses. Cut to a map of Oregon. Zoom in to Gravity Falls.
Dipper (Narrating:) They shipped us up north to a sleepy town called Gravity Falls, Oregon, to stay at our great-uncle's place in the woods.
Cut to Mabel in the attic hanging up posters.
Mabel This attic is amazing. Check out all my splinters! (Holds up hands, which have gigantic splinters sticking out of them)
Dipper (Backs up into his bed, which Gompers is on; not narrating:) And there's a goat on my bed.
Mabel Hey, friend. (Holds out her arm, and Gompers chews on her sleeve) Oh! Yes, you can keep chewing on my sweater. (Laughs)
Dipper (Narrating:) My sister tended to look on the bright side of things.
Cut to Mabel rolling down a hill of grass.
Mabel Yay! Grass!
A woodpecker pecks on Dipper's hat.
Dipper (Narrating:) But I was having a hard time getting used to our new surroundings.
Stan Pines (Jumps out at him wearing a mask) Boo!
Dipper (Not narrating:) Ah! (Falls over)
Stan (Takes his mask off) Ahahahaha! Hahaha!
Dipper (Narrating:) And then there was our Great Uncle Stan. (As Stan slaps his knee) That guy.
Stan (Coughs several times and hits his chest) It was worth it.
Cut to Stan leading tourists through the Mystery Shack's museum exhibit.
Dipper (Narrating) Our uncle had transformed his house into a tourist trap he called "The Mystery Shack." The real mystery was why anyone came.
The Jackalope's antler breaks off.
Stan Ladies and gentlemen, behold! The Sascrotch!
Cut to a Sasquatch wearing underwear. Tourists start speaking excitedly, and snap pictures. Cut to Dipper sweeping the wooden floor with a broom. Mabel is looking at stuff.
Dipper (Narrating:) And guess who had to work there. (Not narrating; sighs)
Mabel Ooh! (Reaches for large eyeball)
Stan (Slaps her hand with his 8-ball cane) No touching the merchandise!
Cut to Soos driving the Mystery Cart to the Mystery Shack.
Dipper (Narrating:) It looked like it was gonna be the same, boring routine all summer. Until one fateful day...
Cut to Mabel peeking through Stan-bobbleheads.
Mabel He's looking at it! He's looking at it!
Cut to a boy looking at Mabel's note.
Boy Uh... (Reading note:) "Do you like me? Yes. Definitely. Absolutely!!!"...? (Looks around)
Mabel (Lowers her voice) I rigged it!
Dipper (Spraying a jar with water and wiping it; not narrating:) Mabel, I know you're going through your whole "Boy Crazy" phase, but I think you're kind of overdoing it with the "crazy" part.
Mabel What?! (Blows raspberry) Come on, Dipper! This is our first summer away from home! It's my big chance to have an epic summer romance!
Dipper Yeah, but do you need to flirt with every guy you meet?
Flashback to Mabel with a boy near a greeting cards display.
Mabel My name is Mabel, but you can call me "The girl of your dreams." I'M JOKING! (Shoves him into the display) Ha ha ha ha ha!
Flashback to a boy holding a turtle on a bench.
Mabel (Jumps up behind him) Oh my gosh, you like turtles? I like turtles too! What is happening here?
Flashback to the inside of a mattress store.
Mattress King Come one, come all, to the Mattress Prince's kingdom of savings!
Mabel (Hiding behind a set of colorful balloons; pops out head and whispers:) Take me with you...
Mattress King Aaah! (Cowers away from Mabel and drops scepter)
Cut back to the present.
Mabel Mock all you want, brother, but I got a good feeling about this summer. I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now.
Stan (Walks through the museum door holding arrow signs and a Pitt Cola can. He burps, but it gets caught in his throat) Oh! Oh, not good. Ow.
Mabel Aww! Why?!
Dipper Ha ha ha!
Stan All right, all right, look alive, people. I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest.
Dipper (Quickly:) Not it!
Mabel (Quickly:) Not it!
Soos (Raises his hand while drilling a shelf) Uh, also not it.
Stan Nobody asked you, Soos.
Soos I know, and I'm comfortable with that. (Eats chocolate bar)
Stan Wendy, I need you to put up this sign!
Wendy (Pretends to reach for signs) I would, but I, ugh, can't, ugh, reach it, ugh...
Stan I'd fire all of you if I could. All right, let's make it... eenie, meenie, miney... (Points at Dipper) you.
Dipper Aw, what? Grunkle Stan, whenever I'm in those woods, I feel like I'm being watched.
Stan Ugh, this again.
Dipper I'm telling you, something weird is going on in this town. Just today, my mosquito bites spelled out "BEWARE."
Stan (Looks at Dipper's arm) That says "BEWARB." (Dipper scratches his arm) Look, kid. The whole "monsters in the forest" thing is just local legend, drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that.
A fat, sweaty man laughs while looking at a Stan-bobblehead's head bobble.
Stan So quit being so paranoid! (Gives Dipper the signs; Dipper sighs)
Cut to a foggy forest with trees getting blown by the wind.
Dipper Ugh, Grunkle Stan. Nobody ever believes anything I say. (Puts one sign up on a tree that says "To The Mystery Shack." He starts to hammer a nail on another tree trunk, but it makes a metallic sound.) Huh? (He taps the tree with the hammer, which makes more metallic sounds. He wipes away some dust and opens a secret window revealing a mechanical box with two control switches on top. He tests one control but nothing happens. Then he tries the other. Behind him, a hatch opens up in the ground. Gompers bleats and runs away.) What the...?
Dipper looks inside the hatch, and there is a thick book. It is fully covered in dust with multiple cobwebs and scurrying millipedes. He picks the book up and blows the dust off the front cover, revealing a gold six-fingered left handprint with a number "3" written on its palm. He places it on the ground, and checks for people watching. He opens the book with the words "Property of--" on the first page and an eye-glass is in it. He looks at the eye-glass and puts it down. He flips another page, and begins reading aloud:
Dipper "It's hard to believe it's been six years since I began studying the strange and wondrous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon." (Flips through the journal's pages of floating eyeballs, giant vampire bats and gnomes) What is all this? (Stops at a page that says "TRUST NO ONE!" and starts reading) "Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before He finds it. Remember – In Gravity Falls, there is no one you can trust." (Closes Journal) No one you can trust...
Mabel (Jumps up behind a log) HALLO!
Dipper AH!
Mabel What'cha readin', some nerd thing?
Dipper (Hides journal behind back) Uh, uh, it’s nothing!
Mabel (Imitating Dipper:) "Uh, uh, it’s nothing!" (Laughs) What? Are you actually not gonna show me?
Gompers (Nibbles the edge of the journal)
Dipper Uhhh... (Glances at Gompers) Let's go somewhere private.
Cut to a view of the Mystery Shack. Dipper and Mabel are in the living room.
Dipper It's amazing! Grunkle Stan said I was being paranoid, but according to this book, Gravity Falls has this secret dark side. (Shows Mabel a page)
Mabel Whoa! Shut. Up! (Pushes Dipper)
Dipper And get this! After a certain point, the pages just stop, like the guy who was writing it... mysteriously disappeared. (Doorbell rings) Who's that?
Mabel Well, time to spill the beans. (Knocks over a can of beans on the table) Boop. Beans. This girl's got a date! Woot woot! (Falls backward into the chair, giggling)
Dipper Let me get this straight: in the half hour I was gone, you already found a boyfriend?
Mabel What can I say? I guess I'm just IRRESISTIBLLLLE! (Doorbell rings twice) Oh. Coming! (Runs out)
Dipper (Sits down in chair and begins to read the Journal)
Stan (Walks in and sees Dipper) What'cha reading there, slick?
Dipper Oh! (Quickly hides the book under the seat cushion and grabs a magazine) I was just catching up on, uh... (Sees the cover of the magazine) "Gold Chains For Old Men Magazine"?
Stan That's a good issue.
Mabel (Standing next to Norman) Hey, family! Say hello to my new boyfriend!
Mabel's boyfriend turns to see Dipper and Stan. He appears to look unsettling with pale skin, hair covering his left eye, a visible fang and red liquid seen on his right cheek. He is limp and wearing a torn black zipped hoodie.
Norman 'Sup?
Dipper Hey...
Stan How's it hanging?
Mabel We met at the cemetery. He's really deep. (Feels his arm) Oh. Little muscle there. That's...what a surprise...
Dipper So, what's your name?
Norman (Struggling to speak) Uh. Normal... MAN!
Mabel He means "Norman".
Dipper Are you bleeding, Norman?
Norman (With a red liquid dripping down his face) It's jam.
Mabel (Gasps) I love jam! Look. At. This!
Norman So, you wanna go hold hands or... whatever?
Mabel Oh, oh, my goodness. (Giggles) Don't wait up! (Runs out)
Norman (Points at Stan and Dipper and runs into the wall several times on his way out)
Dipper (Narrating:) There was something about Norman that wasn't right. I decided to consult the journal.
Scene transitions to Dipper in the attic.
Dipper (Reading aloud from the Journal:) "Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes, these creatures are often mistaken for... teenagers?! Beware Gravity Falls's nefarious..." (Gasps)
We see the journal page on The Undead. The picture of the zombie becomes Norman.
Norman (As the zombie on the journal page:) 'Sup.
Dipper ZOMBIE! (Echoing)
Cut to Stan in the bathroom.
Stan Somebody say "crombie"? What is that, crombie? That's not even a word. You're losing your mind.
Dipper looks out the window to see Norman walking towards Mabel with outstretched arms while moaning.
Mabel I like you.
Dipper Oh, no! Mabel! No, no, Mabel, watch out!
Norman Huh, huh! (Puts hands around Mabel's neck)
Dipper AHHHHH!
Norman (Removes arms, revealing flower necklace) Huhhh!
Mabel (Gasps) Daisies? You scallywag...
Dipper (Turns away from the window, thinking) Is my sister really dating a zombie, or am I just going nuts?
Soos (Offscreen) It's a dilemma, to be sure. (Dipper gasps, sees Soos fixing a lightbulb next to him) I couldn't help but overhear you talkin' aloud to yourself in this empty room.
Dipper Soos, you've seen Mabel's boyfriend. He's gotta be a zombie, right?
Soos Hmm. How many brains didja see the guy eat?
Dipper (Looks down) Zero.
Soos Look, dude, I believe you. I'm always noticing weird stuff in this town. Like the mailman? Pretty sure that dude's a werewolf.
Flashback of a hairy mailman walking by Soos, who is eating his lunch outside. Soos scoots away from him, suspicious.
Soos But ya gotta have evidence. Otherwise, people are gonna think you’re a major league cuckoo clock.
Dipper As always, Soos, you’re right.
Soos My wisdom is both a blessing and a curse.
Stan (Shouting offscreen:) Soos! The portable toilets are clogged again!
Soos (Adjusts his hat) I am needed elsewhere. (Leaves the room by walking backwards)
Dipper (Narrating:) My sister could be in trouble. It was time to get some evidence. 
Cut to Dipper filming Mabel and Norman in the park. Upbeat chiptune music plays in the background.
Mabel (Throws a Frisbee at Norman's head, who fails to catch it and falls over)
Dipper (Stops looking through camera and frowns at Norman)
Cut to Norman breaking through a door window to open it from the inside and letting Mabel inside the diner.
Norman (Stumbles around and crashes, trying to follow Mabel)
Dipper (Looks out from behind menu)
Cut to Mabel and Norman frolicking in a field.
Norman (Falls into an open grave, then crawls out, hand first, screaming)
Mabel and Norman (Pause, then laugh)
Dipper (Narrating:) I'd seen enough.
Cut to Mabel and Dipper's room. Mabel is brushing her hair and Dipper enters.
Dipper (Not narrating:) Mabel. We've gotta talk about Norman.
Mabel Isn’t he the best? Check out this giant smooch mark he gave me! (Shows her cheek, which has a large red spot on it)
Dipper Ah!
Mabel Ha, ha! Gullible. It was just an accident with the leaf blower!
Flashback to Mabel with a leaf blower.
Mabel (Putting a picture of Norman on leaf blower's tube) Kissing practice! (Leans in to leaf blower, but then it sucks in the picture and sticks to her face as well; she runs around) AHHH! Turn it off! Turn it off!
Cut back to present.
Mabel That was fun.
Dipper No, Mabel, listen! I’m trying to tell you that Norman is not what he seems! (Shows her the Journal)
Mabel (Gasps) You think he might be a vampire? That would be so awesome!
Dipper Guess again, sister. SHA-BAM! (Holds book open to the Gnomes page)
Mabel Agh!
Dipper Oh, wait. I'm-I'm sorry... (Flips to Undead page) Sha-bam!
Mabel A zombie? That is not funny, Dipper.
Dipper (Puts the Journal back into his vest) I'm not joking! It all adds up: the bleeding, the limp. He never blinks! Have you noticed that?
Mabel Maybe he's blinking when you're blinking.
Dipper Mabel, remember what the book said about Gravity Falls? "Trust no one!"
Mabel Well, what about me, huh? Why can’t you trust me? (Puts on star earrings) Beep bop!
Dipper Mabel, (shaking her) he's gonna eat your brain!
Mabel (Pushes him away, feeling angry) Dipper, listen to me. Norman and I are going on a date at five o’clock, and I'm gonna be ADORABLE, and he's gonna be DREAMY... (pushing Dipper out of the room)
Dipper Wait! Bu-bu-but—
Mabel And I am not gonna let you ruin it with one of your crazy CONSPIRACIES! (Slams the door)
Dipper (Sighs and sits down) What am I gonna do?
Cut to the owl clock, which tells the time at 5:00. The doorbell rings.
Mabel (Pulls on her purple sweater as she excitedly races downstairs) Coming! (Sees Norman) Hey, Norman. How do I look? (Closeup on her sparkling sweater with a cat's head and the words "MEOW WOW!" on it)
Norman Shiny...
Mabel You always know what to say! (Walks off with him)
Dipper (Watching the video he collected) Soos was right. I don't have any real evidence. (Video shows Mabel teaching Norman hopscotch, but he only falls over; Dipper fast forwards to Mabel and Norman with Norman's arm around Mabel) I guess I can be kind of paranoid sometimes and— (on the tape, Norman's hand falls off; he glances around, then reattaches it) Wait, WHAT?! (Rewinds the tape and watches it again; he screams and tips the chair backwards) I was right! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! (Races outside) Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Stan!
Stan (On a stage in front of a bunch of tourists; to the crowd:) And here we have Rock that looks like a face rock: the rock that looks like a face.
Unnamed hillbilly Does it look like a rock?
Stan No, it looks like a face.
Fat Tourist Is it a face?
Stan It's a rock that looks like a face!
Dipper Over here! Grunkle Stan!
Stan For the fifth time, it's-it's not an actual face!
Dipper (Grimaces) Errrgh!!
Cut to Mabel and Norman in the woods.
Mabel Finally, we're alone.
Norman (Ominously) Yes. Alone...
Cut back to the Mystery Shack.
Dipper Stan! Stan! (Sees Wendy drive up in a golf cart and runs over) Wendy! Wendy, Wendy! I need to borrow the golf cart so I can save my sister from a zombie!
Wendy (Gives Dipper the key and walks off) Try not to hit any pedestrians.
Dipper (Gets in and starts to drive, but Soos stops him)
Soos Dude, it's me, Soos. This is for the zombies. (Gives Dipper a shovel)
Dipper Thanks.
Soos (Holds up a baseball bat) And this is in case you see a piñata.
Dipper (Takes the bat) Uh... Thanks? (Drives off)
Soos Better safe than sorry!
Cut back to the woods.
Norman Uh, Mabel, now that we’ve gotten to know each other, there's... (exhales) ...there's something I should tell you.
Mabel Oh, Norman, you can tell me anything! (Thinking:) Please be a vampire, please be a vampire!
Norman All right, just... just don’t freak out, okay? Just... just keep an open mind, be cool! (Unzips his hoodie and throws it off; underneath are five gnomes standing on top of each other. The top gnome speaks)
Jeff Is this weird? Is this too weird? Do you need to sit down?
Mabel (Stares at the gnomes in total shock)
Jeff R-r-right, I'll explain. So! We’re gnomes. First off. Get that one outta the way.
Mabel (Still shocked) Uh...
Jeff I'm Jeff, and here we have Carson, Steve, Jason and... I'm sorry, I always forget your name.
Shmebulock Shmebulock.
Jeff (Snaps his fingers) Shmebulock! Yes! (Mabel sits down on a rock, slaps her head) Anyways, long story short, us gnomes have been lookin' for a new queen! Right, guys?
Gnomes except Jeff Queen! Queen! Queen!
Jeff Heh. So whaddya say? (Taps Steve with his foot, and the gnomes work together to make "Norman" kneel in a proposing fashion. A small case opens to reveal a diamond ring) Will you join us in holy matri-gnome-y? Matri...matri-mo-ny! Bleahh! Can't talk today!
Mabel Look... I'm sorry, guys. You're really sweet, but... I'm a girl and you're gnomes, and it's like, "what?!" Yikes...
Jeff We understand. We'll never forget you, Mabel. (The gnomes look sad and Mabel smiles) Because we're gonna kidnap you.
Mabel Huh?!
Jeff (Snarls like a beast and jumps at her)
Mabel (Screams)
Cut to Dipper driving through the woods.
Dipper Don't worry, Mabel! I'll save you from that zombie!
Mabel (Off-screen) Help!
Dipper Hold on!
Dipper drives down a deep underground tunnel to the gnomes' hideout. He sees the gnomes trying to pin down Mabel.
Jeff The more you struggle, the more awkward this is gonna be for everybody! Just, ha ha, okay. Get her arm there, Steve!
Mabel (With Steve biting her sweater arm) Let go of me! (Punches Steve off)
Steve (Bounces around, then stand upright and pukes out a rainbow)
Dipper What the heck is going on here?!
Gnome (Hisses at him)
Mabel Dipper! Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes! And they're total jerks! (As a gnome pulls her hair) Hair! Hair! Hair!
Dipper Gnomes? Huh, I was way off. (Takes the journal out of his vest and reads the relevant page aloud:) "Gnomes: little men of the Gravity Falls Forest. Weaknesses: unknown." (When Dipper lowers the book, he sees that the gnomes have managed to tie Mabel to the ground)
Mabel Aw, come on!
Dipper (Walks up to Jeff) Hey, HEY! Let go of my sister!
Jeff Oh! Ha ha, hey there! Um, you know, this is all really just a big misunderstanding. You see, your sister's not in danger. She's just marrying all one thousand of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity! Isn't that right, honey?
Mabel You guys are butt-faces!
Gnome (Covers her mouth)
Mabel Mmmm-MMMMM!
Dipper (Holds up the shovel he brought, pointing it at Jeff) Give her back right now, or else!
Jeff You think you can stop us, boy? You have no idea what we're capable of. The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle with the—
Dipper (Casually tosses him away with the shovel)
Jeff AH!
Dipper (Cuts Mabel free with the shovel)
Mabel Yah! (Kicks gnomes away; Dipper and Mabel get in the cart)
Jeff He's getting away with our queen! No, no, no!
Dipper Seatbelt. (Mabel buckles, he backs up and then he drives away)
Jeff You've messed with the wrong creatures, boy! Gnomes of the forest: ASSEMBLE! (Various gnomes come out and stack up)
Mabel Hurry, before they come after us!
Dipper I wouldn't worry about it. See their little legs? Those suckers are tiny! (Stops the cart as he hears a stomping sound; a giant stacked gnome stops at the cart)
Mabel Dang.
Jeff (On the top, using gnomes' hats like levers) All right, teamwork, guys. Like we practiced. (Gnomes growl)
Mabel Move, MOVE!
Dipper (Drives the cart away just as the gnomes smash their arm down and it breaks)
Gnomes (Run frantically back into position and they chase the kids again)
Jeff Come back with our queen!
Mabel It's getting closer!
Gnome Giant (Throws several gnomes at the cart)
Gnomes (Chew cart and cause havoc)
Gnome (Hanging from side of cart) Ha ha!
Mabel elbow punches a gnome off. Shmebulock jumps up behind Dipper, who grabs him and slams him into the steering wheel out of annoyance.
Shmebulock Shmebulock... (Falls out of the cart)
Gnome (Jumps onto the cart and claws Dipper's face)
Mabel I'll save you, Dipper! (Repeatedly punches the gnome off of Dipper's face and the gnome falls off with Dipper's hat)
Dipper (Dazed from the punches) Thanks, Mabel...
Mabel Don't mention it.
Gnome Giant (Picks up tree and throws it)
Mabel Look out!
Dipper and Mabel AAAAAAHHHHHH!
The cart overturns, landing next to the Mystery Shack.
Dipper and Mabel (Crawl out of the cart)
Gnomes (Approaches)
Dipper (To the gnomes:) Stay back, man! (Throws the shovel at the gnome giant)
Gnomes (Punches shovel in mid-air)
Dipper and Mabel (Grab each other) Aaahhh!
Dipper Uh, where's Grunkle Stan?!
Cut to Stan in the shack with some tourists.
Stan (Holding up a swirly pattern on a stick) Behold! The world's most distracting object.
Tourists Oooh...
Stan Just try to look away, you can't! I can't even remember what I was talking about.
Jeff It's the end of the line, kids! Mabel, marry us before we do something crazy!
Dipper There's gotta be a way out of this!
Mabel I gotta do it.
Dipper What?! Mabel, don't do this! Are you crazy?
Mabel Trust me.
Dipper What?
Mabel Dipper, just this once. Trust me!
Dipper (Glances at gnomes, then Mabel, then backs away)
Mabel All right, Jeff. I'll marry you.
Jeff Hot dog! Help me down there, Jason! (Climbing down to her) Thanks, Andy! All right, left foot, there we go, watch those fingers, Mike. (Approaches Mabel and holds out diamond ring) Eh? Eh?
Mabel (Holds out hand)
Jeff (Puts the ring on her hand) Bada-bing, bada-bam! Now let's get you back into the forest, honey!
Mabel You may now kiss the bride!
Jeff Well, don't mind if I do. (Leans up to kiss Mabel)
Mabel (Leans out to kiss Jeff, then takes out leaf blower)
Jeff Ah! Hey, hey, wait a minute! Whoa, whoa! Wh-what's goin' on?! (Gets sucked half-way into leaf-blower)
Mabel That's for lying to me! (Increases the sucking power) THAT'S for breaking my heart!
Jeff (Slowly getting sucked in further) Ow! My face!
Mabel And THIS is for messing with my brother! (Aims; to Dipper:) Wanna do the honors?
Dipper On three!
Dipper & Mabel One, two, three! (Blast Jeff towards the gnome monster)
Gnome Giant (Explodes into separate gnomes)
Jeff (Flying off into the distance) I'll get you back for this!... (Other gnomes scream when they fall)
Gnome Who's giving orders? I need orders!
Gnome 2 My arms are tired.
Dipper (While Mabel moves the leaf blower back and forth, blowing gnomes away) Anyone else want some?
Gnomes (Run off on all fours; one gets caught in a six-pack holder)
Gompers (Picks the six-pack holder up and runs off) Blah-ah-ah.
Gnome in the six-pack holder (In the background) Aaaaahhhhh!
Mabel Hey, Dipper? I, um...I'm sorry for ignoring your advice. You really were just looking out for me.
Dipper Oh, don't be like that. You saved our butts back there.
Mabel I guess I'm just sad that my first boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes.
Dipper Look on the bright side. Maybe the next one will be a vampire!
Mabel Oh, you're just saying that!
Dipper Awkward sibling hug?
Mabel Awkward sibling hug.
Dipper & Mabel (Hug and pat each other) Pat, pat.
The two walk into the Mystery Shack.
Stan Yeesh. You two get hit by a bus or something? Ahah!
Dipper and Mabel (Begin to walk away)
Stan Uh, hey! W-wouldn't you know it? Um, I accidentally overstocked some inventory, so, uh... how's about each of you take one item from the gift shop? On the house, y'know?
Mabel Really?
Dipper (Folds arms) What's the catch?
Stan The catch is do it before I change my mind, now take something.
Dipper & Mabel (Look around at items)
Dipper (Picks up a blue pine tree hat from one of the shelves and looks in a mirror) Hmm. That oughta do the trick!
Mabel And I will have a... (Grabs item from box, hides it, and twirls around) GRAPPLING HOOK! Yes!
Stan (To Dipper:) Wouldn't she rather have, like, a doll, or something?
Mabel (Fires the grappling hook up at the ceiling; it catches and pulls her up) GRAPPLING HOOK!
Stan Fair enough!
Cut to Mabel and Dipper's bedroom. Dipper is writing while Mabel jumps on her bed, laughing.
Dipper (Writing in Journal while narrating:) This journal told me there was no one in Gravity Falls I could trust. (Looking at Mabel) But when you battle a hundred gnomes side-by-side with someone, you realize that they've probably always got your back.
Mabel (Shoots grappling hook, then reels it back with a stuffed animal attached)
Dipper Hey, Mabel, could you get the light?
Mabel I'm on it! (Knocks light out the window with the grappling hook) It works!
Dipper and Mabel (Laugh)
Mabel Grappling hook...
Dipper (Narrating:) Our uncle told us there was nothing strange about this town. But who knows what other secrets are waiting to be unlocked.
Cut to the Mystery Shack exterior. Stan walks in holding a lantern. He goes into the gift shop and puts a code into the vending machine. The machine opens, and Stan walks inside, looking side-to-side before closing it behind him.
End credits: Steve pukes a rainbow for several seconds.

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V - E - H - D Transcripts of Gravity Falls
Season one Tourist Trapped | The Legend of the Gobblewonker | Headhunters | The Hand That Rocks the Mabel | The Inconveniencing | Dipper vs. Manliness | Double Dipper | Irrational Treasure | The Time Traveler's Pig | Fight Fighters | Little Dipper | Summerween | Boss Mabel | Bottomless Pit! | The Deep End | Carpet Diem | Boyz Crazy | Land Before Swine | Dreamscaperers | Gideon Rises
Season two Scary-oke | Into the Bunker | The Golf War | Sock Opera | Soos and the Real Girl | Little Gift Shop of Horrors | Society of the Blind Eye | Blendin's Game | The Love God | Northwest Mansion Mystery | Not What He Seems | A Tale of Two Stans | Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons | The Stanchurian Candidate | The Last Mabelcorn | Roadside Attraction | Dipper and Mabel vs. the Future | Weirdmageddon 1: Xpcveaoqfoxso | Weirdmageddon 2: Escape From Reality | Weirdmageddon 3: Take Back The Falls
Animated shorts Candy Monster | Stan's Tattoo | Mailbox | Lefty | Tooth | The Hide-Behind | Mabel's Guide to Dating | Mabel's Guide to Stickers | Mabel's Guide to Fashion | Mabel's Guide to Color | Mabel's Guide to Art | Fixin' It with Soos: Golf Cart | Fixin' It with Soos: Cuckoo Clock | TV Shorts 1 | TV Shorts 2 | Mabel's Scrapbook: Heist Movie | Mabel's Scrapbook: Petting Zoo
"Old Man" McGucket's Conspiracy Corner Marathon Triangles | Stan's Brother | Relation Shipping | Laptop Code | The Ice Man | Medalions | Government Agency | 6-18 | Eyes | Cryptograms
Grunkle Stan's Lost Mystery Shack Interviews Interview - Jake Short/Transcript | Interview - Tyrell Jackson Williams/Transcript
Related Media Unaired pilot | Between the Pines
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