No edit summary Tags: Visual edit apiedit |
No edit summary Tags: Visual edit apiedit |
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!Mabel |
!Mabel |
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ā | |(''Through hair'') |
+ | |(''Through hair'') Bleh, bleh, bleh. |
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! |
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! |
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ā | |(''Shows that Wendy was the one who threw the bean |
+ | |(''Shows that Wendy was the one who threw the bean; Wendy straightens up from her throwing position, smiling'') |
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!Wendy's friends |
!Wendy's friends |
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!Mabel |
!Mabel |
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ā | |(''Takes pen from Dipper |
+ | |(''Takes pen from Dipper, crosses out, "You stink!" on her door, writes "You look nice today!") (''Speaking:'') ''Ha! This is gonna blow someone's mind! |
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!Dipper |
!Dipper |
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!Dipper |
!Dipper |
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ā | |(''Walks around to dumpster |
+ | |(''Walks around to dumpster; jumps up on it)'' |
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!Tambry |
!Tambry |
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!Dipper |
!Dipper |
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ā | |(''Walks up the roof to the vents |
+ | |(''Walks up the roof to the vents; punches it'') |
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!Mabel |
!Mabel |
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!Dipper |
!Dipper |
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ā | |(''Punches the vent cover into the vents |
+ | |(''Punches the vent cover into the vents; walks inside'') |
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!Wendy |
!Wendy |
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!Dipper |
!Dipper |
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ā | |(''Walks out door |
+ | |(''Walks out door; gestures for everyone to go inside'') |
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!Lee |
!Lee |
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! |
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ā | |(''The sign mysteriously turns from "Yes, we're open" to "Get lost! We're closed |
+ | |(''The sign mysteriously turns from "Yes, we're open" to "Get lost! We're closed." Commercial break'') |
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!Wendy |
!Wendy |
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!Wendy |
!Wendy |
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ā | |Guys, check it out! You think these still work? ('' |
+ | |Guys, check it out! You think these still work? (''Turns on lights'') |
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!Teens |
!Teens |
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! |
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ā | |(''Everyone throws food at each other |
+ | |(''Everyone throws food at each other, then, they sit in a circle and pop mints into aĀ Pit ColaĀ bottle; it explodes and everyone cheers'') |
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!Mabel |
!Mabel |
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!Nate |
!Nate |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Offscreen:'') Hey come here we got it ready! |
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!Thompson |
!Thompson |
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!Robbie and Nate |
!Robbie and Nate |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Stuff ice into Thompson's pants'') |
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!Wendy |
!Wendy |
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!Flavor pup |
!Flavor pup |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Speaks gibberish'') |
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!Flavor pup #2 |
!Flavor pup #2 |
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!Mabel |
!Mabel |
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ā | |Of course you little angel! ('' |
+ | |Of course you little angel! (''Grabs the paw and chews it'') |
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! |
! |
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ā | |''Cut to real life |
+ | |''Cut to real life; Mabel is chewing on air.'' |
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!Wendy |
!Wendy |
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!Dipper |
!Dipper |
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ā | |Yes, yes I am. ('' |
+ | |Yes, yes I am. (''Smears ice cream on face'') |
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!Lee |
!Lee |
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!Dipper |
!Dipper |
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ā | |I'm on it! (''Jumps off the shelf and walks over to an ice freezer. He takes a bag of ice, but looks up to see some sort of [[cooler monster]]'') Aah! ('' |
+ | |I'm on it! (''Jumps off the shelf and walks over to an ice freezer. He takes a bag of ice, but looks up to see some sort of [[cooler monster]]'') Aah! (''Drops the ice and closes the door; he gasps and looks back at the door; he slowly opens the door again but the Cooler Monster is not there'') |
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!Lee |
!Lee |
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! |
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ā | |''Cut to real life'' |
+ | |''Cut to real life.'' |
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!Dipper |
!Dipper |
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!Robbie |
!Robbie |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Uses a quarter to scratch lottery tickets'') Ha! Ha ha ha! (''Drops the coin and it rolls onto the floor and stops in front of a white line; goes to pick it up but stops'') Whoa guys, you might wanna see this. |
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!Everyone except Mabel |
!Everyone except Mabel |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Gather around the tape markings of [[Ma and Pa Duskerton|Pa]] and [[Ma and Pa Duskerton|Ma]]'s bodies and talking to each other'') |
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!Lee |
!Lee |
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!Dipper |
!Dipper |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Gulps'') |
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!Robbie |
!Robbie |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''To Lee:'') Dude, I dare you to lie down in it. |
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!Lee |
!Lee |
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ā | |Good idea! ('' |
+ | |Good idea! (''To Nate:'') Go lie down in it! |
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!Nate |
!Nate |
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ā | |I'm a dead body, look! ('' |
+ | |I'm a dead body, look! (''Walks over to the markings'') |
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!Dipper |
!Dipper |
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!Tambry, Lee and Nate |
!Tambry, Lee and Nate |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Nod'') |
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!Wendy |
!Wendy |
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!Tambry |
!Tambry |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Texting:'') Status update: trapped in store with insane 9-year old. |
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!Dipper |
!Dipper |
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!Dipper |
!Dipper |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Picks up her phone, reading from it:'') Status update: AAAAUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!!!! |
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!Tambry |
!Tambry |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Appears on security camera screen'') AAAAAAAAAAAAH! |
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!Teens and Dipper |
!Teens and Dipper |
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! |
! |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Commercial break'') |
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!Tambry |
!Tambry |
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!Tambry |
!Tambry |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Looks around in confusion'') |
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!Nate |
!Nate |
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!Thompson |
!Thompson |
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ā | |No! ''You're'' a dance machine! ('' |
+ | |No! ''You're'' a dance machine! (''Cries'') |
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!Wendy |
!Wendy |
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!Robbie |
!Robbie |
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ā | |"Uh-uh they'll let us out of here!" ('' |
+ | |"Uh-uh they'll let us out of here!" (''Sarcastically:'') Yeah, that makes a lot of sense! |
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!Wendy |
!Wendy |
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!Lee |
!Lee |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Sarcastically:'') Yeah right, I'm sure the ghost just wants to talk about his feelings! (''Dissolves and reappears on a cereal box'') |
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!Cereal box Toucan |
!Cereal box Toucan |
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ā | |I'm bonkers for eating you alive! ('' |
+ | |I'm bonkers for eating you alive! (''Holds up spoon and stabs Lee'') |
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!Nate |
!Nate |
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!Dipper, Nate, Robbie, and Wendy |
!Dipper, Nate, Robbie, and Wendy |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Scream'') |
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!Dipper |
!Dipper |
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!Pa |
!Pa |
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ā | | Welcome to your graves, young trespassers. ('' |
+ | | Welcome to your graves, young trespassers. (''Kicks legs and laughs'') |
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!Wendy |
!Wendy |
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!Pa |
!Pa |
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ā | |Well... okay. You're free to go. ('' |
+ | |Well... okay. You're free to go. (''Opens doors'') But before you leave, hot dogs are now half off. I know it might be crazy, but you gotta try these dogs! |
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!Nate and Robbie |
!Nate and Robbie |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Scream and run for the door'') |
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!Pa |
!Pa |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Closes doors'') Just kidding about the hot dog sale! |
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!Nate |
!Nate |
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!Pa |
!Pa |
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ā | |I don't like your tone! ('' |
+ | |I don't like your tone! (''Dissolves Nate'') |
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!Nate |
!Nate |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Reappears as a hot dog on the stove'') No! I'M A HOT DOG! |
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!Pa |
!Pa |
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ā | |It begins. ('' |
+ | |It begins. (''Makes everything float to the ceiling'') Welcome to your home for all eternity! |
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!Wendy |
!Wendy |
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!Dipper and Wendy |
!Dipper and Wendy |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Duck to avoid a flying shelf'') |
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!Wendy |
!Wendy |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Points'') Quick! In there! |
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!Dipper and Wendy |
!Dipper and Wendy |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Run to a tipped over ice machine and hide inside and pant'') |
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!Wendy |
!Wendy |
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!Mabel |
!Mabel |
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ā | |(''Falling:'') WAAH! ('' |
+ | |(''Falling:'') WAAH! (''Lands in the candy and rubs her head'') Ohhh... |
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!Pa |
!Pa |
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!Dipper |
!Dipper |
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ā | |I'm... ('' |
+ | |I'm... (''Reluctantly:'') I'm twelve, technically not a teen. |
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!Ma |
!Ma |
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!Pa |
!Pa |
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ā | |Always sassafrassin' costumers with their boomy boxes and disrespectful short pants! ('' |
+ | |Always sassafrassin' costumers with their boomy boxes and disrespectful short pants! (''Flashbacks to the day he and Ma died'') So we decided to up and ban them! (''Pa in the flashback places a sign labeled "NO TEENS" on the store window'') But they retaliated with this new fangled rap music. |
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!Ma |
!Ma |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''In the flashback, hugs Pa'') The lyrics, they were so, hateful! |
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!90's Teens |
!90's Teens |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''In the flashback, dancing to the rap:'') Homework's whack, and so are rules! Tuckin' in you're shirt's for fools! |
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!Pa |
!Pa |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''In the flashback:'') NO! |
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!Ma |
!Ma |
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!Ma and Pa |
!Ma and Pa |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''In the flashback, clutch their chests and collapse, dead'') |
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! |
! |
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!Ma |
!Ma |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Brightly:'') That's why we hate teenagers so much! Don't we, honey? |
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!Ma and Pa |
!Ma and Pa |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Nuzzle'') |
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!Dipper |
!Dipper |
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!Pa |
!Pa |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Lights himself on fire'') NOOOO! |
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!Dipper |
!Dipper |
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ā | |OKAY OKAY OKAY! Um... Well, I do know... ('' |
+ | |OKAY OKAY OKAY! Um... Well, I do know... (''Reluctantly:'') the Lamby Lamby Dance. Bu-but I can't really do it, without a lamb costume! (''Folds his arms, happy to be out of it'') |
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!Pa |
!Pa |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Snaps his fingers and Dipper is in a lamb costume'') |
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!Dipper |
!Dipper |
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ā | |Oh, well... there it is. ('' |
+ | |Oh, well... there it is. (''Takes a deep breath, sings the [[Lamby Lamby Dance]]'') Wellll... |
Who wants a Lamby lamby lamby? |
Who wants a Lamby lamby lamby? |
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I do! I do! |
I do! I do! |
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!Dipper |
!Dipper |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Marching and singing:'') Don't don't don't you forget about the babies! (''Sweats, winks'') |
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!Pa |
!Pa |
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!Ma and Pa |
!Ma and Pa |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Disappear and allow everything to fall back to the floor and freeing the teens'') |
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!Mabel |
!Mabel |
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!Dipper |
!Dipper |
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ā | |Hey! ('' |
+ | |Hey! (''Picks up a package of Smile Dip'') There's still some left! |
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!Mabel |
!Mabel |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Slaps it out of his hand'') EVIL! |
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!Lee |
!Lee |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''To Wendy:'') What-what happened after everything went crazy? |
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!Wendy |
!Wendy |
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!Wendy |
!Wendy |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Turns to Dipper and zips lips'') |
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!Dipper |
!Dipper |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''Zips lips'') |
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!Count Lionel |
!Count Lionel |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''From TV:'') I've come to reclaim my bride! |
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!Stan |
!Stan |
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!Man |
!Man |
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ā | |('' |
+ | |(''From TV:'') You had your chance at the cotillion, you! |
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!Stan |
!Stan |
Revision as of 04:20, 22 November 2015
This is a transcribed copy for the episode "The Inconveniencing." Feel free to edit or add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode. |
Previous: "The Hand That Rocks the Mabel" | Next: "Dipper vs. Manliness" |
Opens to Dipper and Mabel in the Shack. Mabel is sitting on a spinning globe. | |
Dipper Pines | Mabel, do you believe in ghosts? |
Mabel Pines | I believe you're a big dork! Ha ha ha! |
Dipper | (Puts pencil against globe, making Mabel fall off) |
Stan Pines | (Enters from outside) Soos! Wendy! |
Soos Ramirez | (Runs up, panting) What's up, Mr. Pines! |
Stan | I'm headin' out. You two are gonna wash the bathrooms, right? |
Soos | Yes, sir! |
Wendy Corduroy | Absolutely not! |
Stan | Ha ha! You stay out of trouble! (Leaves) |
Wendy | Hey guys! What's this? (Unveils curtain) A secret ladder to the roof? |
Soos | Uh, I don't think Mr. Pines would like that. |
Wendy | Huh? |
Soos | Uhhhhh. |
Wendy | Huh? |
Soos | You're freaking me out, dude! |
Dipper | Can we actually go up there? |
Wendy | Sure we can! Roof time! Roof time! |
Dipper and Mabel | Roof time! Roof time! |
Soos | (Looks out window) Uhhhh. |
Dipper, Mabel, and Wendy | (Walk over roof to Wendy's spot) |
Wendy | Alright, check it out! |
Dipper | Did you put all this stuff up here? |
Wendy | I may or may not sneak up here during work, all the time, everyday. (Throws pine cone, it hits a target on a totem pole) Yes! |
Dipper | Cool! |
Mabel | Me first! |
Dipper and Mabel | (Throw pine cones) |
Dipper | (Hits a car; the car alarm goes off) |
Wendy | Jackpot! High five. (Holds up hand) ... Don't leave me hangin'. |
Dipper and Wendy | (High five) |
Wendy | Oh hey, it's my friends! |
Thompson | (Pulls up in car. Waves hand out window) Wendy! |
Wendy | Hey, you guys aren't going to tell Stan about this, are you? |
Dipper | (Zips lips) |
Wendy | (Zips lips) Later dorks! (Slides down trees and gets into car) |
Thompson | Let's get out of here! (Drives away) |
Dipper | Later Wendy! Heh heh heh! Good times! |
Mabel | Uh, oh! |
Dipper | What? |
Mabel | (Poking Dipper) Somebody's in love! |
Dipper | Yeah, right! I just think Wendy's cool, okay? It's not like I lie awake at night thinking about her! |
(Cut to Dipper in bed at night, wide awake) | |
Dipper | Uh-oh. |
(Cuts to theme song) | |
(Cuts to inside Mystery Shack) | |
Mabel | Random dance party for no reason! (Dances) |
Wendy | (Dances) Go! Go! Go! Go! |
Dipper | (Writing:) I am pretending to write something down. |
Wendy | Dipper! |
Dipper | (Throws clipboard and catches it) Uh what, yes? |
Wendy | Aren't ya gonna get in on this? |
Dipper | I don't really dance. |
Mabel | Yeah, you do! Mom used to dress him up in a lamb costume and make him do... (whispering to Wendy:) The Lamby Dance! |
Dipper | (Angrily to Mabel:) Now is not the time to talk about the Lamby Dance. |
Wendy | Lamb costume? Wow, is there like little ears and a tail or...? |
Dipper | Well uh, uh... |
Mabel | (Holds up picture) Dipper would prance around and sing a song about grazing. |
Wendy | (Phone beeps) Hey, look at that! Quittin' time! The gang's waitin' for me. |
Dipper | Wait! Why don't I-or we come with you? |
Wendy | Ooh... I don't know. My friends are pretty intense. How old did you guys say you are? |
Dipper | We're thirteen! So, technically a teen. |
Wendy | All right. I like your moxy, kid! Let me get my stuff. (Leaves) |
Mabel | Since when are we thirteen? Is this a leap year? |
Dipper | Come on, Mabel. This is our chance to hang out with, you know, the cool kids. And Wendy and whatever. |
Mabel | I knew it! You love her! (Dances around Dipper, points at him and sings:) Love love love love love! |
Dipper | Oh hey, what's that? (Points) |
Mabel | Huh? |
Dipper | (Flips Mabel's hair over her face) |
Mabel | (Through hair) Bleh, bleh, bleh. |
(Cuts to teens outside) | |
Lee and Nate | (Holding up Thompson) In the belly! In the belly! |
Thompson | Come on! Hurry up! |
Robbie | (Gets ready to throw jelly bean) |
(Bean hits Thompson in the belly button) | |
Robbie | (Looks at his bean in confusion) |
(Shows that Wendy was the one who threw the bean; Wendy straightens up from her throwing position, smiling) | |
Wendy's friends | Wendy! |
Nate | Wendy! Wendy! |
Wendy | Hey guys! These are my pals from work, Mabel, and Dipper. |
Mabel | I chewed my gum so it looks like a brain! BLAH! (Sticks out her tongue, which has a wad of gum on it) |
Dipper | She's not much for first impressions. (Points at himself) Unlike this guy! ...this guy... |
Robbie | So are you, like, babysitting, or- |
Wendy | Come on, Robbie! Guys, this is Lee and Nate. |
Lee and Nate | (Punch each other and laugh) |
Wendy | Tambry. |
Tambry | (Texting) Hey... |
Wendy | Thompson, who once ate a runover waffle for 50 cents. |
Thompson | Don't tell them that! |
Wendy | And Robbie. You can probably figure him out. |
Robbie | Yeah, I'm the guy who spray-painted the water tower. |
Dipper | Oh, you mean the big muffin! |
Robbie | Um, it's a giant explosion. |
Everyone | (Looks at water tower) |
Lee | Hehe! Kinda does look like a muffin! |
Lee and Nate | (Laugh) |
Robbie | (Glares at Dipper) |
Wendy | Let's hurry it up, guys. I got big plans for tonight! |
Everyone | (Gets into the car) |
Dipper | (Goes over to the passenger seat and sees Robbie there) |
Robbie | Sorry kid, I'll ride shotgun alright? |
Dipper | (Gets into the back with Mabel) |
Thompson | Okay just, before we go, my mom said you guys aren't allowed to punch the roof anymore, so... |
Teens except Thompson | (Punches roof) Thompson! Thompson! Thompson! |
Thompson | (Drives the car) |
Mabel | (Takes pen from Dipper, crosses out, "You stink!" on her door, writes "You look nice today!") (Speaking:) Ha! This is gonna blow someone's mind! |
Dipper | Mabel, please! |
Mabel | What, am I embarrassing you in front of your new GIRLFRI- |
Dipper | (Slaps hand over Mabel's mouth; pulls it away) Ugh! Did you just lick my hand? |
(Cut to Stan sitting in front of TV) | |
TV announcer | You're watching the black and white period piece old lady boring movie channel! |
Stan | Kids! I can't find the remote and I refuse to stand up! |
TV announcer | Stay tuned for the Friday night movie, "The Duchess Approves," starring Sturly Stembleburgiss as "The Duchess" and Grampton St. Rumpterfrabble as irascible coxswain "Saunterblugget Hampterfuppinshire!" |
Stan | KIDS! |
(The Duchess Approves begins) | |
Stan | NO! NOOOO! |
(Cut to the teens and the twins standing in front of the Dusk 2 Dawn fence) | |
Wendy | There it is, fellas! The condemned Dusk 2 Dawn! |
Lee and Nate | Ha! Cool! |
Mabel | Neato! |
Dipper | Why'd they shut it down, was it like a health code violation, or- |
Nate | TRY MURDER! |
Lee | Some folks died in there, the place has been haunted ever since! |
Mabel | This town has such a colorful history! |
Dipper | Wha... Are you guys serious? |
Wendy | Yeah! We're all gonna die! Chill out man! (punches Dipper friendly) It's not as bad as it looks! |
(Fast forward to everyone over the fence but Dipper and Lee. Dipper is straddling the fence) | |
Wendy | Come on, Dipper! |
Dipper | Okay Okay! Just gotta get a foothold... |
Robbie | Dude, your sister did it! |
Mabel | (Running on the ground sideways in a circle) WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP! |
Lee | (Climbs up behind Dipper) Hey, you know what. Just... There you go. (Throws Dipper off the fence) Ha! S-sorry dude! |
Nate | Good job throwing the kid off the fence, genius! |
Lee | Your mom's a genius... |
Wendy | (Looks in the window of the store) Wow! This place is amazing! |
Robbie | (Tries to open door) I think it's, it's stuck! |
Dipper | Let me take a crack at it! |
Robbie | Oh yeah. I can't get in, but I'm sure Junior here is gonna break it down like Hercules! |
Wendy | Come on, leave him alone. He's just a little kid. |
Dipper | (Walks around to dumpster; jumps up on it) |
Tambry | Kid, what are you doing? |
Dipper | (Walks up the roof to the vents; punches it) |
Mabel | Go Dipper! Punch that metal thing! |
Dipper | (Punches the vent cover into the vents; walks inside) |
Wendy | Hey Dipper, take it easy! |
Robbie | Who wants to bet he doesn't make it? |
Dipper | (Walks out door; gestures for everyone to go inside) |
Lee | Good call inviting this little maniac! |
Nate | Your new name is Dr. Funtimes! |
Mabel | (High fives Dipper) |
Wendy | (Punches Dipper friendly) Nice work! |
Dipper | (Skips inside after everyone else) |
Thompson | Do you guys really think it's haunted? |
Nate | Na! Thompson are you kidding me? |
(The sign mysteriously turns from "Yes, we're open" to "Get lost! We're closed." Commercial break) | |
Wendy | Whoa man, it's even creepier than I imagined! |
Mabel | (Wipes dust off change slot. Licks the dust off her finger) Yep. It's dust. |
Dipper | (Wipes dust off newspaper) |
Lee | Hey dude, where do you think they keep the dead bodies? |
Nate | (shoves Lee) Shut up, man! |
Wendy | Guys, check it out! You think these still work? (Turns on lights) |
Teens | (Muttering positive things about the store) |
Mabel | Jackpot! |
Dipper | So, what are we going to do now? |
Wendy | Anything we want. |
(Everyone throws food at each other, then, they sit in a circle and pop mints into a Pit Cola bottle; it explodes and everyone cheers) | |
Mabel | (Runs around corner) Oh my Gosh! Smile Dip! I thought this stuff was banned in America! |
Dipper | Maybe they had a good reason. (Gets hit by a balloon full of food. Runs off) |
Mabel | (Puts the stick into the the Smile Dip. Looks at the stick, then pours the entire package into her mouth) |
(Wendy and Dipper are eating ice pops on a shelf) | |
Nate | (Offscreen:) Hey come here we got it ready! |
Thompson | Whatever it is I'll do it! |
Wendy | (Laughs) Thompson! Dipper, this night is like, legendary. |
Dipper | Really? |
Wendy | Just look around. The guys are bonding. |
Robbie and Nate | (Stuff ice into Thompson's pants) |
Wendy | I've never even seen Tambry look up from her phone this long. |
Tambry | (Looks up from her phone for a second) |
Wendy | And your sister seems to be going nuts with that Smile Dip. |
Mabel | Ugh, maybe I've had too much. What do you think? |
Cut to Mabel's hallucination, she is in a valley that changes colors, and crazy pop music plays in the background | |
Flavor pup | (Speaks gibberish) |
Flavor pup #2 | Would you like to eat my candy paws? |
Mabel | Of course you little angel! (Grabs the paw and chews it) |
Cut to real life; Mabel is chewing on air. | |
Wendy | You know Dipper, I wasn't sure if you could hang with our crew at first, but you're surprisingly mature for your age. |
Dipper | Yes, yes I am. (Smears ice cream on face) |
Lee | Hey guys! We need more ice! (Shows Lee shaking a bag of ice over Thompson's pants) |
Dipper | I'm on it! (Jumps off the shelf and walks over to an ice freezer. He takes a bag of ice, but looks up to see some sort of cooler monster) Aah! (Drops the ice and closes the door; he gasps and looks back at the door; he slowly opens the door again but the Cooler Monster is not there) |
Lee | What was that? I thought I heard some lady screaming back here. |
Nate | You freakin' out, kid? |
Dipper | Uh, no. I'm cool. Everything's cool. |
Robbie | Then what's all this about? (Points to the spilled ice) |
Dipper | That's uh, um uh...hey look! Dancy Pants Revolution! The game that tricks people into exercising! |
Teens | (Mumble in agreement and walks over to play it) |
Dipper | Heh heh, yeah lets all- let's go play that. (Turns around and looks at the cooler's door. Then turns around again and walks to the video game) |
Cuts to Thompson playing Dancy Pants Revolution, and everyone cheering him on. | |
Dancy Pants | Dance! Hurry up! |
Lee and Nate | Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! |
Wendy | Wow. He's really terrible at this. |
Dipper | Heh heh, yeah. That's, that's great. (Looks into a glass door, and sees the reflections of Wendy, Robbie, Tambry, Thompson and himself. Their skin, however, is replaced by bones, Dipper rubs his eyes and everything is back to normal) I'll be right back. (Runs off to use a telephone) Come on, Grunkle Stan, pick up! Ugh, what is he doing!? |
Cuts to Stan watching The Duchess Approves | |
Duchess | I don't care about Dukes, or Commoners, or His Royal Highness Lionel of Cornwall! I'm not afraid anymore, Mother! |
Mother | Duchess, I forbid you. |
Stan | (Eats ice cream) |
Duchess | I may be a Duchess, but...I'm also a woman! (Takes her hat off to reveal her long hair flying in the wind) |
Stan | Yes! Yes! In your face Elizabeth! It's just like my life!...in a way. |
Cuts to the phone hanging from the cord and Dipper walking over to Mabel. | |
Dipper | Mabel, I need your advice. We're hanging out in a haunted convenience store, I can't get a hold of Grunkle Stan, and if I say anything about it to any of these guys they'll just think I'm a scared little kid or something! |
Mabel | (Makes a gurgling sound with Smile Dip all over her face, clothes, and her eyes small and green) |
Dipper | Mabel? |
Zoom in on Mabel's face, fade to her hallucination: she's flying with crazy pop music from before playing | |
Mabel | The future! ...is in the past! Onwards Aoshima! |
Aoshima | (Moves its fists in a circular motion, its mouth opens to reveal a fist coming out of them, and the fist's open out and spit out rainbows) |
Cut to real life. | |
Dipper | (Shakes Mabel) Mabel! How many of these did you eat!? |
Mabel | Beleven.. teen... |
Dipper | Oh man. (Drops Mabel) Oh man, oh man, oh man. |
Robbie | (Uses a quarter to scratch lottery tickets) Ha! Ha ha ha! (Drops the coin and it rolls onto the floor and stops in front of a white line; goes to pick it up but stops) Whoa guys, you might wanna see this. |
Everyone except Mabel | (Gather around the tape markings of Pa and Ma's bodies and talking to each other) |
Lee | Then the rumors are true! |
Dipper | (Gulps) |
Robbie | (To Lee:) Dude, I dare you to lie down in it. |
Lee | Good idea! (To Nate:) Go lie down in it! |
Nate | I'm a dead body, look! (Walks over to the markings) |
Dipper | Wait! Maybe let's not do that. |
Lee | This guy's scared! |
Dipper | All I'm saying is, why tempt the fates? I mean.. What if this place really is... haunted? |
Teens | Boo! Ah c'mon! |
Robbie | Yeah, take it down a notch, Captain Buzzkill! |
Dipper | I thought I was Dr. Funtimes. |
Robbie | Well, you're acting like Captain Buzzkill! Right? |
Tambry, Lee and Nate | (Nod) |
Wendy | Yeah, little bit. |
Tambry | (Texting:) Status update: trapped in store with insane 9-year old. |
Dipper | I'm not a 9-year-old! (lies down in tape markings) I'm 13! Technically a teen! |
The tape markings light up and the lights go out. Tambry looks up and dissolves. | |
Dipper | (Picks up her phone, reading from it:) Status update: AAAAUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!!!! |
Tambry | (Appears on security camera screen) AAAAAAAAAAAAH! |
Teens and Dipper | AAAAUUGGH! |
(Commercial break) | |
Tambry | AAAAH!! |
Wendy | Tambry! Tambry! |
Dipper | Can you hear us!? |
Tambry | (Looks around in confusion) |
Nate | What are we supposed to do!? |
Lee | I don't know man! I don't know! |
Robbie | Let's just go already! |
Wendy | Thompson! |
Thompson | (Playing Dancy Pants Revolution) Wait! I've almost got the high score! (dissolves and reappears inside the game) Uh? What? |
Dancy Pants | It's time to shake what your mama gave you! |
Thompson | No! So many arrows! |
Dancy Pants | (Throws arrows down on Thompson) You're a dance machine! |
Thompson | No! You're a dance machine! (Cries) |
Wendy | Thompson! |
Robbie | Forget them! Let's go! |
The doors close | |
Wendy | What the... (tries to open the door but can't) Guys... It's locked! |
Robbie | OUTTA MY WAY! (Throws the cash register at the doors, but it dissolves and green light flies at Robbie) |
Dipper | Everybody, wait! Whatever's doing this has to have some kind of reason! (opens 3) Maybe if we can figure out what it is, they'll let us out of here! |
Robbie | "Uh-uh they'll let us out of here!" (Sarcastically:) Yeah, that makes a lot of sense! |
Wendy | I don't know guys, maybe he's got a point! |
Lee | (Sarcastically:) Yeah right, I'm sure the ghost just wants to talk about his feelings! (Dissolves and reappears on a cereal box) |
Cereal box Toucan | I'm bonkers for eating you alive! (Holds up spoon and stabs Lee) |
Nate | Lee! Okay, okay.. I'm with you kid! 100%, man! |
Pa | (Possessing Mabel, flies up behind counter; through Mabel, deep voice:) Welcome. |
Dipper, Nate, Robbie, and Wendy | (Scream) |
Dipper | They got Mabel! |
Pa | Welcome to your graves, young trespassers. (Kicks legs and laughs) |
Wendy | We're super sorry for hanging out in your store! |
Dipper | Yeah! Can we just go now and leave forever? |
Pa | Well... okay. You're free to go. (Opens doors) But before you leave, hot dogs are now half off. I know it might be crazy, but you gotta try these dogs! |
Nate and Robbie | (Scream and run for the door) |
Pa | (Closes doors) Just kidding about the hot dog sale! |
Nate | Just let us out of here already! |
Pa | I don't like your tone! (Dissolves Nate) |
Nate | (Reappears as a hot dog on the stove) No! I'M A HOT DOG! |
Pa | It begins. (Makes everything float to the ceiling) Welcome to your home for all eternity! |
Wendy | Dipper, what do we do?! |
Dipper | DUCK! |
Dipper and Wendy | (Duck to avoid a flying shelf) |
Wendy | (Points) Quick! In there! |
Dipper and Wendy | (Run to a tipped over ice machine and hide inside and pant) |
Wendy | What do they want from us?! |
Dipper | Revenge, I guess? |
Wendy | What did we do wrong? |
Dipper | Okay, let's try to figure out the pattern here. Why was each person taken? Tambry was texting, Thompson was playing a video game, Lee was being sarcastic; it doesn't make any sense! |
Wendy | Yeah! I mean, those are all just normal teenage things. |
Dipper | Wendy, say that last part again. |
Wendy | Normal teenage things? |
Dipper | Of course! Stay here until I get back! (crawls out of the freezer) |
Wendy | Dude, what are you doing?! |
Dipper | Hey ghost! |
Pa | (twists Mabel's head around to face Dipper, then turns the rest of her body towards him) |
Dipper | I've got something to tell you! I'm not a teenager! |
Pa | (drops everything that's floating and appears holding Mabel by her hair with Ma) Hohoho! Well why didn't you say so? (drops Mabel into a pile of candy) |
Mabel | (Falling:) WAAH! (Lands in the candy and rubs her head) Ohhh... |
Pa | How old did you say you were? |
Dipper | I'm... (Reluctantly:) I'm twelve, technically not a teen. |
Ma | When we were alive, teenagers were a scourge on our store! |
Pa | Always sassafrassin' costumers with their boomy boxes and disrespectful short pants! (Flashbacks to the day he and Ma died) So we decided to up and ban them! (Pa in the flashback places a sign labeled "NO TEENS" on the store window) But they retaliated with this new fangled rap music. |
Ma | (In the flashback, hugs Pa) The lyrics, they were so, hateful! |
90's Teens | (In the flashback, dancing to the rap:) Homework's whack, and so are rules! Tuckin' in you're shirt's for fools! |
Pa | (In the flashback:) NO! |
Ma | It was so shocking, we were stricken down with double heart attacks! |
Ma and Pa | (In the flashback, clutch their chests and collapse, dead) |
The flashback ends | |
Ma | (Brightly:) That's why we hate teenagers so much! Don't we, honey? |
Ma and Pa | (Nuzzle) |
Dipper | But they're my friends, isn't there anything I can do to, help them? |
Pa | There is one thing. Do you know any funny little dances? |
Dipper | Uh... is there anything else I can do? |
Pa | (Lights himself on fire) NOOOO! |
Dipper | OKAY OKAY OKAY! Um... Well, I do know... (Reluctantly:) the Lamby Lamby Dance. Bu-but I can't really do it, without a lamb costume! (Folds his arms, happy to be out of it) |
Pa | (Snaps his fingers and Dipper is in a lamb costume) |
Dipper | Oh, well... there it is. (Takes a deep breath, sings the Lamby Lamby Dance) Wellll...
Who wants a Lamby lamby lamby? I do! I do! So go up and greet your Mammy mammy mammy! Hi there! Hi there! So march march march around the daisies... |
Pa | Yes, Yes! More! MORE! |
Dipper | (Marching and singing:) Don't don't don't you forget about the babies! (Sweats, winks) |
Pa | That was so fine, girly dancin' boy! Your friends are free. |
Dipper | (In normal clothes) Well I don't think you have to worry about us coming back, so... |
Ma and Pa | (Disappear and allow everything to fall back to the floor and freeing the teens) |
Mabel | Ugghh... I'm never gonna eat or do anything ever again. |
Dipper | Hey! (Picks up a package of Smile Dip) There's still some left! |
Mabel | (Slaps it out of his hand) EVIL! |
Lee | (To Wendy:) What-what happened after everything went crazy? |
Wendy | You are not going to believe it! The ghosts appeared, (laughing:) and Dipper had to... (sees Dipper looking at her) Uh, and uh, Dipper just grabbed a bat, and just started beating ghosts down, left and right, and the ghost got all scared, and ran away like a couple of little girls, it was insane! |
Nate | Alright! Dr. Funtimes! |
Wendy | (Turns to Dipper and zips lips) |
Dipper | (Zips lips) |
Cut to everyone except Dipper and Wendy sleeping in the van. | |
Wendy | Well, I'm probably scarred for life. |
Dipper | Yeah, that was pretty crazy. |
Wendy | I think I'll go stare at a wall for a while and RETHINK EVERYTHING. Hey, next time we hang out, let's stay at the Mystery Shack. Okay? |
Dipper | Next time? Yah! Let's, let's hang out at the Shack! Yeah... (gets in the car, to himself:) Next time... (gets in the car and sits next to Mabel) |
Mabel | OHHHHH... (sees the thing she wrote earlier) What kind of sick joke is this? |
The car drives away from the store, and the lights go out in the store. Cut to credits. | |
Stan | (In front of the TV) Ah, the wedding. I've waited so long for this. Oh, look at her in that dress! (angrily as people on the TV gasp:) Count Lionel? What's he doin' here?! |
Count Lionel | (From TV:) I've come to reclaim my bride! |
Stan | You had your chance at the cotillion, you! |
Man | (From TV:) You had your chance at the cotillion, you! |
Stan | That's what I'm SAYING! UuuaaaAAAAGGGHHH! |
Outside, Dipper and Mabel are walking to the door. The television flies out the window and nearly hits them. | |
Stan | Uh, couldn't find the remote. |
(Episode ends) |