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Transcript.PNG This is a transcribed copy for the episode "Not What He Seems." Feel free to edit or add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Northwest Mansion Mystery" Next: "A Tale of Two Stans"
The Episode begins with an establishing shot of Gravity Falls, late at night. A blue pulsing light glows. Then, a shot of the vending machine inside the Shack, which is also periodically back-lit by the pulsing blue light. Cut to Stan Pines in the underground laboratory beneath the Shack, working on the universe portal. Stan pulls a lever, and green fluid pumps into large, glass tanks.
Stan Come on, come on. Should be just enough to finish the job. (Removes his fez and glove, and without knowing, wipes toxic waste on his forehead, which sizzles and briefly glows green) Whew. Can't be too careful with this stuff.
Red lights flash and a buzzer goes off. Stan smiles and turns to look at screen. The screen reads "EVENT INITIALIZED" and an eighteen hour countdown begins.
Stan (Reading from Journal 1:) "Warning," blah blah blah, "Extreme usage could result in minor gravity anomalies." Can it, Poindexter! (Slams journal shut) I've come this far. I'm not givin' up now! (Pushes a button, and the portal begins to spin) Yes, this is it.
Stan's fez floats off of his head. Outside the Shack, rocks float off the ground, along with Gompers the goat. A boat lifts out of the lake. In the scrapyard, broken-down cars and junk lift off the ground, and inside McGucket's makeshift shack, a blue light blinks, illuminating the sleeping and floating McGucket and the functioning laptop which now reads "ACTIVE" under an image of the portal. Back in the Shack, Dipper and Mabel, as well as Waddles, float off their beds, but sleep undisturbed. There is a resounding "thunk" as everything in town touches back down to the ground.
Stan It's gonna be a bumpy ride, but it'll all be worth it. (Synchronizes what looks like a large wristwatch with the steadily ticking countdown, still displayed on the monitor) Just eighteen more hours. Finally, everything changes. Today.
A draft blows the journal shut.
Cut to shortened theme song. Cut to Mabel, running down the halls, followed by a tired Dipper.
Mabel (Running down hall) Ahh! It's here it's here it's here!
Dipper (Sighs)
Mabel (To Dipper:) Okay, so I was just opening random doors - because I'm a creep - when I found something amazing!
Dipper (While rubbing his eyes) If it was worth waking up at seven AM for, that will be amazing.
Mabel Feast your eyes! (Opening door to reveal closet filled with various types of fireworks in a box labeled "DO NOT TOUCH!")
Dipper Whoa!
Mabel (Puts hand on Dipper's shoulder) Bro. Bro. We're both thinking it.
Dipper and Mabel Crazy rooftop fireworks party!
Stan (Marches up to them) Not so fast, kids! There is no way on earth you're setting off those dangerous, illegal fireworks... (Smiles and bends down to put his arms around their shoulders) ...without me.
Cut to roof. Dipper is grabbing a icy-pop from the cooler. Mabel is standing excitedly next to Stan, who is sitting on the lounge chair with a lit sparkler and Roman candle.
Stan Here you go, sweetie. (Lights Mabel's skyrocket with a sparkler) Set something on fire for your Grunkle Stan.
Mabel (Aiming the skyrocket; Screaming:) I AM THE GOD OF DESTRUCTION! (Skyrocket shoots off)
Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland approach the Mystery Shack as the fireworks go off.
Blubs Hold on a minute. Do you have a permit for those?
Dipper Uh...
Stan Uh, do you have a permit for being totally lame? (He and the twins laugh)
Mabel Heyoooo!
Blubs (Chuckles) Well, I can't argue with that. (Walking away and waving) Carry on.
Stan (Laughs) But seriously though we should probably clean this mess up.
Pans out to a full view of the Mystery Shack; there are many small fires around and on it. The rope holding up the flags snaps.
Mabel With water balloons?
Stan I don't see why not.
Cut to Stan sitting outside on the couch drinking a Pitt Cola, and Dipper running away from Mabel, who is throwing water balloons at him.
Dipper (Laughs as he runs. Throws water balloon which goes about a foot before falling onto the ground) Seriously?
Mabel (Hits him with a water balloon, knocking him back. Runs by, screaming in a tribal-like fashion)
Stan Ah. This is what Saturdays are for. Doing dumb things forever.
Dipper and Mabel (As they jump onto the pile of water balloons) DUMB THINGS FOREVER! (Land on the water balloons which all pop into a big burst of water)
Stan (As a splash of water comes at him:) Whoa, there! (Laughs)
Mabel (Holding up an icy-pop) To Grunkle Stan! Not just a great uncle...
Dipper The greatest uncle! (He and Mabel throw water balloons at Stan)
Stan (Laughs) Alright, alright. I tell you it's unnatural for siblings to get along as well as you do.
Mabel (Waves hand dismissively) Ha-ha! Don't worry. We've still got plenty of summer left (Attacking Dipper in a hug) to drive each other crazy!
Dipper (Pushes Mabel away with a water balloon, which falls on her face)
Stan (Laughs nervously and frowns) Yeah, plenty of summer left. (Rubbing the back of his head nervously as Dipper and Mabel approach him) Kids, there's something I, uh, something I should tell you. It's um (Scratches chin) Well it's complicated. I... I'm gonna go refresh my soda. (Walks away. Cut to him walking alone behind the bushes) Enjoy it while you can, Stan. They'll find out sooner or later. Today's the day.
A glowing red dot appears on Stan's fez.
Stan What is that, a ladybug? (Slaps it)
More red dots target Stan.
Stan What the--? Oh no!
A masked agent pins Stan down. Agent Trigger approaches.
Agent Trigger (Into walkie-talkie:) Target secure! Take the house!
Several helicopters fly above the Shack. Cut to a conufused Dipper and Mabel, surrounded by a handful of agents.
Mabel What the--?
Dipper (Gasps)
Agent (Into walkie-talkie:) Kids are secure. Roof team! Go!
Several agents rappel out of a helicopter. Cut to the Mystery Shack attic, where agents crash in and cock their weapons.
Agent 2 Clear!
Another couple agents rush through the gift shop, wielding a bat. Another crashes through a window, using a rope.
Agent 3 Clear!
Yet another agent breaks through Dipper and Mabel's window. Waddles is seen standing in confusion. He squeals when the agent tackles him.
Agent 4 Pig secure! We have secured a pig!
The agents wrap yellow police caution-tape around the Shack. Several police cars are parked outside. An agent leads a struggling Stan in handcuffs.
Stan (Being led to the government vehicle) Ugh! Hey, hands off, you stooge!
Agent (Plants Stan's face on the trunk of the police car)
Stan Aah! I don't understand! What did I do that warrants this much arresting?
Dipper, Mabel and Agent Powers and Agent Trigger walk up.
Dipper The government guys? I thought you got eaten by zombies!
Trigger We survived. Barely.
Powers I used Trigger as a human shield. He cried like a baby. (Walks over)
Trigger What? Hey! Not in front of the special-ops guys!
Powers (Holds up digital tablet) This is security footage of a government waste facility. (Pan in on screen where footage of a person in a radiation suit stealing barrels is shown as Powers continues to talk) At o'four hundred hours last night someone robbed three hundred gallons of dangerous waste.
Stan What? You think that's me?
Powers Don't play dumb with us, Pines.
Stan But I actually am dumb! (As he is led away by an agent) Last night I was stocking the gift shop. I swear!
Mabel Wait! Grunkle Stan! You've got the wrong guy! Our Grunkle Stan might shoplift the occasional tangerine, but he's not some evil super villain!
Powers (Bending down to get at eye-level with the twins) Listen, kid. We've been watching your family all summer and we've seen some disturbing things. But nothing as dangerous as what your uncle is hiding. Somewhere hidden in this shack is a doomsday device! (To Trigger, handing him the tablet:) Trigger, you take the children. I'll talk to the old man. (To the twins:) Sorry to break it to you kids (Puts on sunglasses) but you don't know your uncle at all. (Walks away)
Trigger snaps his fingers and points at the children. Two agents approach the twins.
Agent 5 (Bends down and takes Mabel's icy-pop, holding an evidence bag) Icy-pop. Clear.
Mabel (Reaching up toward her icy-pop) Hey!
The other agent leads the twins away. Once they are gone the first agent who took Mabel's icy-pop looks to his left to see if the coast is clear and then licks the icy-pop. Mabel and Dipper are led into a police car, and the door is shut behind them. Looking out the window they can see Stan in a government vehicle.
Stan (Looks at them and taps on the window with his cuffed hands) Kids, you gotta believe me! For once I'm actually innocent! (As the car drives off) Kids!
Wendy Corduroy (Walking towards the Mystery Shack; In a sing-song voice:) Headin' into work. Doo-doo-doo-doo-doooo.
Agent 6 Ground team! Move, move, move!
Agent 7 Break down the door!
Two agents break down door to the Mystery Shack and a helicopter flies over the Shack.
Wendy (Turns around and starts walking away) Or maybe not.
Cut to the Gravity Falls police station, Stan getting his mug shots taken, his prints taken, and then Stan sitting in front of a bulletin board with various pictures attached to strings that all meet up to a picture of him.
Powers Stanford Pines, you stand accused of theft of government waste, conspiracy, and possession of illegal weapons. How do you plead to these charges?
Stan Uh, guilti-cent! I mean, inno-guilty! Um, can I have my phone call?
Cut to shot of a fast food restaurant called "Yumberjacks," where Soos is at the drive-thru.
Soos Okay, gimme whatever you got that comes with a free toy.
Stan (Through walkie-talky:) Soos!
Soos Mr. Pines? (Touches drive-thru lumberjack-speaker) Is this some sort of... possession situation?
Stan (Through walkie-talky:) Just pick up!
Soos (Picks up walkie-talky) Mr. Pines, what happened? I heard you got arrested or something? I had to go get some panic food.
Stan (Through walkie-talky:) Listen, I need something from you. You know that vending machine in the gift shop? I need you to guard it with your life. No matter what happens, no matter who talks to you, don't let them touch that machine. (Walky-talky makes whining sound as Stan cuts out)
Soos Time for a repair guy (Adjusts hat) to become a repair man.
Drive-thru employee (Sticks arm out to hand Soos his kid's meal) Sir, your Junior Yum-Yum Baby-Time Kiddo Meal?
Soos Just put one in my mouth. (Employee opens box, removes a fry, and places it in Soos' mouth. Soos makes munching noises as he chews) Let's do this. (Tires screech, Soos drives wildly through a hedge)
Cut to Dipper and Mabel in the car with Trigger. Powers speaks through a video link at the front of the vehicle.
Powers We've got Mr. Pines in custody. Our men are searching the shack for the device. You take care of those kids.
Mabel (Gasps) What're you gonna do to us?
Trigger We'll be taking you to child services.
Mabel Boo!
Trigger In the meantime, (Presses buttons) enjoy some mindless reality TV, designed to pacify you and make you stop asking questions.
Cut to television screen. A surgeon in scrubs stands over a patient laying on a stretcher.
Surgeon I'm about to make the incision...
Justin KER-PRANK! (Jumps out of a potted plant, surgeon screams, screen reads "KER-PRANK'D in large font)
TV Announcer You're watching "KER-PRANK'D" with Justin Kerprank!
Cut back to the twins.
Mabel Dipper, this is crazy. There's no way Stan was stealing hazardous waste! We gotta clear his name!
Dipper (Thinks, then spots the camera at the front of the car) Hmm...wait a minute, the security tapes! Didn't Stan say he was restocking the gift shop last night? If we could get the Mystery Shack surveillance tapes, we could prove he's innocent!
Mabel We just need to think of a way out of here. Think, Mabel... (Looking out car window) Think.
Their vehicle comes up beside a logging truck driven by Manly Dan.
Mabel (Notices a Sev'ral Timez bumper sticker on the back and knocks on the window to get Dan's attention, writing on the foggy car window:) SEVRAL TIMEZ IS OVERRATED
Manly Dan (Gasps; furious) NOOOOO! (Veers the logging truck into the government vehicle, which goes into a spin and falls off the road into the forest)
Trigger Mayday! Mayday! Agent down! (All scream, and the car crashes into the trees. Trigger gets stuck between the car and a tree branch, and struggles to get free) Darn branch!
Mabel Haha, yes! (Opens the door, Dipper and Mabel leave the car)
Trigger Backup! Requesting backup! Ah!
Dipper (Pulls the earpiece out of Trigger's ear and crushes it on the ground)
Mabel Come on, Dipper. We're gonna go clear our uncle's name.
Trigger Oh, you poor kids. You really think your uncle's innocent? I've seen it all before. (Mabel walks away, but Dipper pauses to listen) False names, double lives, one minute they're playing with water balloons, the next they're building doomsday devices. Your uncle scammed the whole world. You gonna let him scam you, too?
Dipper You (hesitates) you don't know what you're talking about. (Walks away)
Trigger You're gonna regret this!! (Airbag inflates, Trigger cries out, the car's horn beeps)
Cut to Dipper and Mabel hiding on the side of the road. Two government vehicles pass by, and as they do, Dipper and Mabel disappear from the roadside. The camera angle changes to show them hiding in the trunk of the rear car, and an arrow-shaped sign pointing in the direction they're headed that reads "MYSTERY SHACK". Cut to a view of the countdown, which now reads roughly five hours. Cut to Stan in the interrogation room, checking his wristwatch device.
Stan Only five more hours till it happens. I gotta be there! Come on, Stan, you gotta think of a way outta this. (Pounding head on table) Think! Think!
Suddenly the device blinks, reading "ANOMALY IN PROGRESS." The coffee on the table floats out of its cup, along with the cup itself and various items, then crashes back down.
Stan They're getting stronger. Of course, that's it!
Cut to the center of town, where many cars, objects, and people float off the ground and then fall back suddenly.
Tyler Cutebiker (To Lazy Susan:) Is it just me, or did the entire world just hiccup?
Lazy Susan  I'm sure it's just a baby-sized earthquake.
Tyler Aww, baby-sized!
Cut to view of the laptop, which shows the countdown that Stan initiated. McGucket is in his shack, packing a bag.
McGucket It's happening! The End Times! When that machine activates... I gotta get outta town! (Shoving a raccoon into a bag) Get in there, raccoon wife! Git! (Runs off while a helicopter flies past overhead)
Cut to overhead view of the Mystery Shack, surrounded by agents. Dipper and Mabel are hiding in a bush near the Shack.
Mabel Alright, here's the plan. I'll take out those two guard guys, you karate chop the other dude in the neck and then we'll back flip through the front door!
Dipper Mabel, aren't you forgetting the simpler solution?
Mabel Oh, right.
Cut to two agents looking at the Rock that looks like a face rock.
Agent So is it a rock, or is it a face?
Agent 2 I think, it's... a metaphor.
As they ponder, Mabel's grappling hook shoots overhead through the Shack's (now broken) window. Dipper & Mabel slide along the rope into the Shack. They dash down the stairs, avoiding detection from the agents inside the Shack, and head into Stan's office, locking the door behind them. Then they fist bump.
Dipper Alright. If I was Stan, where would I hide those surveillance tapes? (Looks on the bookshelf and in a filing cabinet)
Mabel (Seeing a bolt on the Jackalope head mounted on wall) Wait! The antelabbit!
Dipper Don't you mean "jackalope?"
Mabel Pfft, that can't be right. (Fixes the jackalope's bent antler, and the wall turns open to reveal two old-looking TV monitors and a tape player)
Dipper and Mabel Yes!
Mabel (Points to a tape halfway in the player) It's this week, this is it! (Pushes it in)
Cut to tape of Wendy, Soos, and Mabel in the Mystery Shack's gift shop, where Soos is doing the worm dance.
Mabel & Wendy (On tape:) Go! Go! Go! Go!
Mabel (To Dipper:) Someone yelled "Wormy Dance." We had to! Fast-forward.
(Tape fast-forwards through several hours)
Dipper Ha! There it is! Stan restocking like he said! And the date shows it was last night! It's proof! He's innocent!
On the tape, Stan sneaks out of the shop at around 7PM.
Dipper (Fast forwards through till 8PM, seeing that Stan has not returned, he quickly becomes concerned) ...Uhh-oh.
Mabel Uh, maybe he's just going to the bathroom outdoors. The way nature intended!
Cut back to surveillance tape. At 5AM, a figure in a haz-mat suit is wheeling barrels of radioactive waste into the gift shop. Dipper and Mabel gasp in shock and horror.
Dipper Oh no, Stan, you didn't...
Mabel Don't panic. That could be anyone in that suit!
Stan (On the tape, drops a barrel on his foot) Gah! Hot Belgian waffles! Wait, I'm alone. I can swear for real! (Takes a deep breath) SON OF A--
Dipper (Shuts off the tape as Mabel covers her ears) That's him, alright.
Mabel Okay, okay, so maybe Grunkle Stan stole some toxic waste. That doesn't mean he's leading a nefarious double life!
Dipper (Pulls a box from under the TV screen) Mabel, I'm not so sure about that... (Takes a lamp from the desk and turns it on, revealing a box full of passports and IDs)
Mabel (She and Dipper looking through the box) What? What is all this? (Reading from one of the IDs:) "Stetson Pinefield?"
Dipper (Reading from IDs:) "Hal Forrester?" "Andrew '8-Ball' Alcatraz?" These are fake IDs, Mabel! You wouldn't need these unless you were trying to hide your real identity!
Mabel But why would Stan do that? (Picks a newspaper clipping out of the box, whose headline reads "STAN PINES DEAD." She passes the clipping to Dipper)
Dipper WHAT?! "Stan Pines Dead?"
Mabel (Reading from article clipping:) "Foul play suspected in Pines' death." Fiery car crash, brakes who?!
Dipper (Picks out another clipping that shows a picture of Stan) "Unnamed grifter at large?" Why would they call him unnamed? Unless Stan...
Mabel Isn't...
Dipper and Mabel Stan?! (Look up at the portrait of Stan on the wall behind them)
Cut to countdown clock, now reading under sixteen minutes.
Dipper (Pacing) Stan Pines is dead?! Then who have we been living with? It doesn't make any sense!
Mabel There has to be some explanation. Maybe we're getting Ker-Prank'd! Justin Kerprank is gonna jump up from behind one of these plants (Turns to look at potted plant) any minute now! (After a brief pause she scoots forward and looks into the potted plant) ...Any minute, Justin.
Dipper I can't believe it. This whole summer I've been looking for answers and the biggest mystery was right under our nose.
Mabel (Digs through clippings) Ugh, there's gotta be some kind of explanation in here somewhere. What the... "secret code to hideout?"
Dipper Let me see that. (Takes out Journal 3 and his portable black light) "A1, B, C3"... I've never seen a code like this.
Mabel Wait! I have! Dipper, it's the vending machine!
Cut to Stan checking the wristwatch device, which reads about thirteen minutes now.
Powers (Enters interrogation room with two other agents) Alright, Pines. Playtime is over. Chopper's ready to dust off to Washington. I'll enjoy putting you away.
Stan What? Um, can't we stick around for maybe one minute? Uh, one minute thirty seconds?
Powers We're not falling for your games, Pines. You've been running your whole life. Your time is finally up.
Stan (Looks at a clock on the wall) Bathroom break? Just give me... fifteen seconds!
Powers (As he unlocks Stan's handcuffs) Sorry, but you've got a flight to catch.
Stan (Watch begins to beep) Oh, yeah? So do you.
Powers Huh?
Everything floats up from the floor. Stan kicks the table into the agents. Cut to outside the police station, where everything is losing its grip on the world. Cut back to Stan in the station.
Powers Whoa-whoa-whoa, hey! Aah!
Stan hits Powers with the back of his chair, turns over, thrusts away from the wall, catches the cuff key in his hands and un-cuffs himself.
Powers Hey! Dang it, get back here! Men, get him!
Stan kicks one of the agents in the chest, catches his wallet and hops from agent to agent out of the room.
Powers No! You won't get away with this!
Stan slams the door in Powers' face, locking it behind him. His watch beeps and gravity is working again. Behind Stan, Durland falls out of a room next door, followed by a blindfolded Blubs, swinging a bat at a piñata.
Blubs Gon' getcha, gon' getcha!
The agents in the interrogation room slide to the floor with a squeaking sound.
Powers Ow!
Outside, everything hits the ground again, and Stan runs out of the station to a taxi.
Stan (Panting; To taxi driver:) Do you know where the Mystery Shack is?
Taxi Driver Uh, yeah?
Stan Okay. Here's a hundred bucks. Drive as far away from the Shack as possible, and don't stop when the cops start chasing you!
(The driver shrugs and speeds away, while Stan hides behind a wrecked car as the agents come out of the station.)
Powers He's getting away! (Sees taxi) Obviously, follow that cab!
Cut to Shack exterior. Trigger drives up to order the other agents.
Trigger Stanford escaped! He's at large! We need to sweep the town! (As agents disperse from the Shack) Move! Move! Move!
Soos (Sneaks in to guard the vending machine) Alright Soos, remember the plan. Protect the machine, earn Stan's trust, legally get adopted by Stan, change name to Stan Junior.
Dipper Soos?
Soos Ahh! Oh, kids! Where've you been?
Dipper What are you doing here?
Soos Stan gave me a mission to protect this machine! Ha! And I thought I loved snacks.
Dipper Soos, listen. Something huge is going on here. If Stan is hiding some dangerous secret, we need to find out what it is! I need you to step aside.
Mabel Yeah, just let us through so we can prove this is all just a big misunderstanding.
Soos Guys, I know this seems crazy, but I promised Stan I would guard this with my life.
Mabel (Dipper nods at her) I'm sorry, Soos. (Blows a handful of glitter directly into Soos' face, getting it in his eyes)
Soos Aah! Attack glitter! It's pretty, but it hurts! 
Dipper and Mabel (Jump on Soos) C'mon Soos... c'mon... c'mon... please!
Soos (Holds them back as they try to get past) Aww, c'mon, I don't wanna fight you guys! This hurts me more than it hurts you! (As he is getting kicked in the face by Mabel) Ah! Seriously, it hurts me way more that it hurts you!
Dipper reaches for the number pad and enters the code. All shout as the vending machine swings forward, shoving them to the floor. All cough, then gasp at the secret passage behind the machine.
Soos (Leading the way down the stairs) It's like something from a video game...
Mabel Or a dream...
Dipper ...Or a nightmare.
Cut to shot of Stan's feet as he races back to the Shack, cut to Soos, Dipper & Mabel heading down in the elevator, then cut back to Stan, checking the watch.
Stan I gotta be there when it happens! (Running through the woods. Rips part of his suit on a branch) Aah!
Cut to Soos, Dipper & Mabel entering Stan's lab. All gasp.
Mabel Guys, are we dreaming? Somebody wake me up.
Dipper This can't be real...
Soos I don't understand. Why would Mr. Pines have all this?
Dipper It's just like that bunker in the woods...
Soos But what is it doing underneath the Mystery Shack?
Mabel Okay, okay, so he's got a huge gigantic lab. That doesn't mean anything bad! Everyone's got secrets! (Sees the picture of her and Dipper, picks it up) It's still Stan, and he loves us. And we love him. Right?
Dipper It can't be... it's impossible. The other two journals? All this time... all this time, Stan had them?! I can't believe it! Was anything he said to us real?! (Kicks desk in anger and frustration) Why would he have those journals?!
Soos Maybe he's the author.
Dipper Or maybe he stole them from the author! Maybe the reason he has all those fake IDs is because he is a master criminal, and this machine is his master plan! (Opens each journal to the page with the portal on it, lays them accordingly, and turns on his black light. Gasps)
Mabel Whoa.
Dipper (Reading from the journals:) "I was wrong the whole time. The machine was meant to create knowledge but it is too powerful. I was deceived, and now it is too late. The device, if fully operational, could tear our universe apart! It must not fall into the wrong hands. If the clock ever reaches zero, our universe is doomed!" (All look at the countdown clock, now reading one minute, thirty seconds)
Soos (panicked) It's the final countdown! Just like they always sung about!
Dipper (Flips through journal to a page reading "MANUAL OVERRIDE") The agents were right! We have to shut it down! (All enter the portal room, gasp, ground begins to shake) There! Quick! Turn these, together! (All turn three keys, a device near the center of the room pops open to reveal a large red button) That's it! The shutdown switch! This all stops... now!
Stan DON'T TOUCH THAT BUTTON!! (Standing in the doorway, panting) Dipper, just back away. (Dipper's hand remains suspended inches over the button) Please don't press that shutdown button, you gotta trust me.
Dipper And I should trust you why?! After you stole radioactive waste? After you lied to us all summer?! I don't even know who you are!
Stan Look, I know this all seems nuts, but I need that machine to stay on! If you'd just let me explain-- (Wrist device beeps, ground begins to shake again) Uh-oh, oh, no! Brace yourselves!
They are lifted off the ground and float toward the machine. All over town, things are lifted high off the ground. Gompers "baaa"s. Powers screams as his car flies into the air. Lazy Susan is lifted off her feet in a store. Bud Gleeful grabs onto one of his cars as he and his customers float into the air. The sky darkens and the sun appears red over Gravity Falls.
Computer T minus thirty-five seconds.
Stan (Spinning in mid-air) Wh-whoa-aaaah!
Dipper Aaah! (Hits a wooden support, grabs on)
Mabel Dipper! (Ankle is hooked onto a wire over the stand the button is on)
Dipper Mabel! Hurry! Shut it down!
Mabel (Crawls along the wire toward the button)
Stan No! Mabel, Mabel, wait! Stop! Aah! (Soos knocks him away from Mabel) Soos, what're you doing?! (Furiously hits Soos on the head) I gave you an order!
Soos Sorry, Mr. Pines - if that is your real name - but I have a new mission now! Protecting these kids!
Stan Soos, you idiot, let me go!
Dipper (Pushes off from the support beam, hits Stan and Soos) Go! Mabel, press the red button! Shut it down!
Stan No, you can't! (Shoves Dipper away) You gotta trust me!
Mabel Grunkle Stan, (Crying) I don't even know, if you're my grunkle! I wanna believe you, but--
Stan Then listen to me. Remember this morning when I said I wanted to tell you guys something?
Computer T-minus twenty seconds.
All scream as the portal flashes and pushes Dipper, Stan, and Soos against the opposite wall. Mabel prepares to push the button.
Stan I wanted to say that you're gonna hear some bad things about me, and some of them are true, but trust me. Everything I've worked for, everything I care about, it's all for this family!
Dipper Mabel, what if he's lying? This thing could destroy the universe! Listen to your head!
Stan Look into my eyes, Mabel! You really think I'm a bad guy?
Dipper He's lying! Shut it down NOW!
Stan Mabel, please!
Computer Ten. Nine.
Mabel (Looking away and lowering hand to the button, then looks at Stan) Grunkle Stan...
Computer Six. Five.
Mabel (Lifts hand) I trust you. (Lets go of the stand, floats up)
Computer One.
Dipper, Stan, Soos and Mabel all disappear in an explosion of light as each of them screams.
Dipper NOOO-!
Stan AAA-!
Soos AAH-!
Mabel AAA-!
A flash of blinding light engulfs all of Gravity Falls. Inside, there is picture of Mabel and Dipper cracks as an unconscious bodies of Dipper and Mabel floating Then, everything comes down to earth. The portal, now a mess of tangled wires and metal, glows bright blue. A figure emerges from the portal. The blue light fades behind him. He walks forward, placing a six-fingered hand on the cover of the first journal, then picks it up and places it into the inside pocket of a long, dark coat.
Dipper What...? Who is that?
Stan The author of the journals...
Ford Pines (Pulls off goggles, revealing his face. He looks nearly identical to Stan)
Stan brother.
Mabel Is this the part where one of us faints?
Soos Ohoho, I am so on it, dude. (Faints)
Cut to credits. Two boys, about Dipper and Mabel's age, sit on a swing set on a beach in front of a sunset. Vigenère ciphered message "THE ORIGINAL MYSTERY TWINS". Cut to end card: a cryptogram showing the portal.

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