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Transcript.PNG This is a transcribed copy for the episode "Little Dipper." Feel free to edit or add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Fight Fighters" Next: "Summerween"
Gideon Gleeful Zombie attack? Never works, they don't take orders. Blood rain? Ew, mess up my suit, (chuckles) no thank you. Demon Caterpillars? DRAT! (Shuts book) There must be a perfect way to exact vengeance on the Pines family. It's not enough to harm 'em, I need to take something from them. Something that'll give me ultimate power. Wait, of course! (Picks up his model of the Mystery Shack) It's perfect...
Screen fades to a shot of the Mystery Shack. Dipper, Mabel, and Stan Pines are watching TV.
Constable (On TV:) You've gone too far this time, Duck-tective!
Duck-tective (On TV:) Quack quack, quack quack quack quack.
The doorbell rings.
Stan Pines (Opens door) Welcome to a world of mystery!
Unnamed lawyer Stan Pines?
Stan The tax collector! You found me! (Throws smoke bomb at the ground to distract the lawyer, then runs inside and rips off a decoration, revealing a bag with money in it; searches the tiles of the wall) Aah... uh... which one of these is the trap door?
Unnamed lawyer Mister Pines. I'm from the Winninghouse Coupon Savers contest, and YOU ARE OUR BIIIIIIG WINNER!
A cameraman comes in along with two women holding a check for 10,000,000 Dollars.
Stan Heh? My one and only dream, which was to possess money, has come true!
Dipper Pines We're rich! I'm gonna get a butler!
Mabel Pines I'm gonna buy a talking horse!
Unnamed lawyer Just sign here for the money.
Stan You bet!
Gideon (Rips through the check) Ha! Stanford, you fool! You just signed over the Mystery Shack to lil' ol' me! (Sings and dances)
Dipper and Mabel (Gasp)
Stan Uh, might wanna take another look there!
Gideon (Reading from check:) "The shack is hereby signed over to... SUCK A LEMON LITTLE MAN"?!
Stan Ahahaha!
Gideon (Rips paper) How dare you!
Dipper and Mabel Hahaha!
Gideon I am not a threat to be taken lightly! (Reaches for the man) Come here hon', I need your arms.
Unnamed lawyer (Lifts up Gideon)
Gideon I'll get you, Stanford Pines! I'LL GET YOU ALL! (Lawyer carries him out)
Stan Wanna see what else is on TV?
Dipper Yeah, OK.
Mabel Yeah, alright.
Stan Yeah.
Mabel My favorite part's the theme song.
Cut to theme song.
Mabel (Shows Mabel and Dipper playing chess) Little guy to black space nine!
Dipper It's a pawn, that's not your color, and stop stealing the tiny horses!
Mabel (With a bunch of knight chess pieces in her sweater pocket) They like it better in here. Don't you babies? (Makes horse noise)
Dipper (Knocks over the king) And... checkmate!
Mabel What? Boo!
Dipper O-oh! Dipper wins again! (Adds a tally mark to the "Dipper" side of a notebook which keeps track of wins and losses; Dipper's side has 85, Mabel's side has zero)
Soos Ramirez Yo, Mabel? Can you pass me that brain in the jar? The lady one?
Dipper I got it.
Soos Thanks, but Mabel's taller.
Dipper What? No she's not. We're the same height. We've always been.
Soos Better check again, dude.
Dipper and Mabel (Line up to measure height)
Soos (Measures height with a tape measure) Yep, she's got exactly one millimeter on you!
Dipper What?!
Mabel Woah, don't you see what's happening, Dipper? This millimeter is just the beginning. I'm evolving into the superior sibling! Bigger! Stronger!
Soos Like some kinda alpha-twin!
Mabel Alpha-twin! Alpha-twin!
Dipper C'mon, guys, nobody even uses millimeters. It only makes you taller than me in Canada.
Mabel Y'know Dipper, I've always wanted a little brother. Who knew I already had one? Ha ha ha ha ha! Yeah!
Stan I was awoken by the sound of mockery. Where is it? Show me the object of ridicule!
Mabel I'm taller than Dipper!
Dipper By ONE millimeter.
Stan Hey, hey, don't get... short with your sister. (Laughs)
Mabel Now Grunkle Stan, I hope you don't think little of him.
Stan Ha ha! Ya! And, and uh... he's short!
Mabel and Stan Ha ha ha ha ha!
Soos Dude, maybe you should lay off a tiny bit.
Stan Ha! Tiny! Soos is in on it now!
Mabel and Stan Ha ha ha ha ha!
Dipper (leaves)
Soos N-no, I didn't mean that.
Mabel Dipper will forget. He's got a 3... 2... 1...
Mabel and Stan SHORT-TERM MEMORY! Ha ha ha!
Mabel POW! We are on FIRE!
Mabel and Stan (High-five)
Stan Ow, ooh, that's, aah.
Mabel I high-five hard.
Dipper Ugh! Stupid Mabel! I'm not short! (Reaches for Journal 3) Oh, come on. (Kicks bookcase and 3 falls down) There's gotta be some way to get taller. (Looks through book) Let's see... (Reading:) "Legends of miniature buffalo and giant squirrels have led me to believe there are height altering properties hidden deep within the forest."
Scene fades to Dipper walking through the forest
Dipper Hmm... (Trips) Ooh! Ah! Ow! Agh! Aagh. (Notices tiny deer standing on his chest) Whoa. (Tiny eagle passes by) Huh? (Gasps) Is that mountain lion tiny or just far away in perspective? (Mountain lion growls and pounces) PERSPECTIVE! PERSPECTIVE! AAAAAAH! (Mountain lion leaps and is frozen in a beam of pink light, which shrinks it; Dipper laughs from being tickled; mountain lion meows and bites his finger) It still hurts, but less! (Walks over to giant crystals) Whoa. (Sees a butterfly pass through the pink light and shrink, then the blue light and grow; it knocks over a tree)  What the heck? (Cuts a crystal off with a Swiss army knife)
Cut to Dipper and Mabel's room
Dipper (Dipper had took a piece of the crystal he found, and ties it in front of a flashlight. It shines blue, then Dipper rotates it so it shines pink) Smaller. (Makes chess piece smaller) Bigger. (Makes chess piece bigger. It breaks through the roof) TOO BIG!
Cut to the gift shop.
Mabel (To Soos:) I've been buying big clothes; I'll grow into them.
Dipper (Walks in front door) Hey guys, notice anything different about me?
Soos Holy hotsauce! You've grown an extra millimeter!
Mabel Wh-wh-what?
Mabel (Gets off the chair and checks height with Dipper)
Dipper What can I say, sis? Growth spurt.
Mabel Yeah, mine happened first. I'm gonna be taller in the end. It's science, Dipper.
Dipper What? But we're the same height now.
Mabel Alpha-twin! Alpha-twin!
Dipper Oh yeah? Something tells me I've got another growth spurt comin' on right now. (Walks away. Cut to him growing himself taller in the attic when Mabel kicks the door open)
Mabel Give it up, Dipper! (Sees that he is much taller than her; gasp) What happened?
Dipper Y'know, puberty and stuff.
Mabel It doesn't make any sense. Just a second ago you were- WAIT A MINUTE! This is some kinda magicky thing. Isn't it? Was it a wizard or something? There's a wizard in this closet, isn't there? ISN'T THERE?
Dipper What? No!
Mabel You're telling me that there is not a wizard in this closet. You're telling me that if I open this door right now-
Dipper Fine! Open it!
Mabel (opens door to reveal nothing) An invisible wizard! REALLY, Dipper?
Cut to Mystery Shack entrance.
Stan (Opens door) Oy, you.
Gideon Oh, howdy Stanford! Listen closely. Inside this jar I have 1000 Cursed Egyptian super termites. Hand over the deed to your property or I'll smash this jar with a bat, and they'll devour this shack with you inside!
Stan Hey, what's that?
Gideon (Turns around) Huh?
Stan (Smashes the jar of termites and they attack Gideon)
Gideon Oh, no! Aaaah! Get it off! Awww! (Runs away)
Stan Ha, ha, ha! Hey, Soos, get in here! I wanna take pictures of this!
Gideon Y'all may have won this battle, but mark my words, Stanford! Your family has a weak spot, and I'm gonna find it! Ah! My hair! (Runs away)
Cut back to Dipper and Mabel's room.
Mabel Does he only respond to incantations? Excpecto wizzarium! Wizle! Wizar-
Dipper It's not a wizard! I grew myself using this magic flashlight!
Mabel Lemme see that thing!
Dipper Aah! (Runs downstairs)
Mabel (points to closet) I'll be back for you later. (Runs after Dipper)
Dipper and Mabel (Fight over the crystal flashlight and make a caterpillar grow larger. The caterpillar crushes a car)  Huh?
Mabel (Picks up flashlight and uses it to make her hand grow bigger) Ahh!
Dipper It's okay it can shrink things too. (Uses flashlight to return Mabel's hand back to normal size)
Mabel Normal hand karate chop! (Hits Dipper's hand and takes the flashlight)
Dipper Hey!
Mabel (Uses the flashlight to make Dipper's head bigger)
Dipper Oh Ah ah! (hits his head on one of the Shack's pillars) Ah! (tackles Mabel and shrinks her head with the flashlight)
Mabel Ahh! (Attacks Dipper and fixes her head)
Dipper Hey, give it back!
Mabel Never!
The flashlight flies out of their hands.
Gideon Curse the Pines family! Curse Stan! Curse Dipper! Curse — (The flashlight lands in front of him) My, my, what delightful manner of a dohickery is this?
Mabel Maybe he didn't see us use it and doesn't know it's a magic flashlight that can grow and shrink things.
Camera pans to show that they're standing right next to Gideon
Dipper Really?
Gideon (Turns the flashlight on and off) Flick, boop, woo hoo hoo.
Dipper and Mabel No no no-!
Gideon (Shrinks them, from Dipper and Mabel's view:) Gwa ha ha ha ha! (He bellows with laughter. From normal view he is giggling:) Hee hee hee, woo hoo hoo hoo hoo! (Puts a jar over the twins)
Commercial break.
Bud Gleeful (Sounds airhorn; to customers:) Friends, I wish I was a highway so I could have the honor of being rode upon by automobiles as fine as these ones right here. (pats a car; a hubcap falls off and possum leaps out of the hood and hisses) Engine possum at no extra charge.
Old Man McGucket I want that there car!
Hank's wife, Reginald, Unnamed red cap man and other spectators Woo hoo! (Wave around wads of money)
Gideon (Walks by)
Bud Gleeful Say there son, what's in your jar?
Gideon That's my widdle secret!
Hank's wife, Reginald, Unnamed red cap man and other spectators Awww!
Gideon (Giggles, walks away) Mouth-breathin' fools... (walks inside his house to a vacuuming Mrs. Gleeful) Mother. (Enters his room and unscrews the jar containing the twins, spilling them out on his dresser)
Gideon You two!
Mabel What are you going to do with us?
Gideon (Laughs) Why Mabel, I wouldn't hurt a hair on your itty-bitty head- if you agree to be my queen!
Mabel We live in a democracy! And never!
Gideon Maybe you'll change your mind after THIS! (Picks Mabel up)
Mabel No! I will fight you until the day I — (Sees Gummy Koalas and gasps) Gummy Koalas!
Gideon (Puts her in the bag)
Mabel (Eats the candy)
Gideon As for you, boy... (Turns the table lamp into Dipper's face) Tell me. How exactly did you come upon this magic item? Hmm? Did somebody tell you about it? Did you... READ about it somewhere?
Dipper (Looks at book #3 in his jacket) Lean closer and I'll tell you!
Gideon Well don't mind if I-
Dipper (Sounds airhorn in his face)
Gideon AAAAAAAH! (Whacks light away) Grrrrr! I COULD SQUASH YOU RIGHT NOW! Steel yourself, Gideon. (Calms down) You can use them. You can use them...
Cut to Mystery Shack, where Soos is setting up mirrors
Stan Soos! This maze of mirrors is your best idea that I'm taken credit for yet. We're gonna make a fortune! (Takes off hat and looks in a mirror) Have my ears always been this big?
Phone rings.
Stan I'm comin'!
Soos (Takes off his hat of and puts on Stan's fez and looks at himself in the mirror) One day!
Stan (Picks up phone and grunts)
Gideon Stanford Pines, listen to me very closely. I have your niece and nephew. Hand over the deed to the Mystery Shack right now, or great harm will befall them! (Pauses) This is Gideon, by the way.
Stan Ha ha ha! Oh yeah, this is gonna be your worst plot yet. They're fine. I saw them playing in the yard minutes ago. 
Gideon I have them in my possession! You don't believe me? I will text you a photo!
Stan "Text me a photo"? Now you're not even speakin' Spanish!
Gideon But —
Stan (Hangs up)
Gideon Hello? Hello? Arrgh! (Throws phone at the wall and it breaks, nearly hitting Dipper)

Wait. (Laughs insanely) What am I doing? I don't need ransom! I have THIS! (Holds up flashlight) I'll shrink Stan and take the Shack for myself! (Turns to the twins) You'll be helpless to stop me. And if you step out of line, SMASH! (Pulls the heads off of the Pines dolls and laughs evilly)

Bud Gleeful Gideon! The ice cream truck is here!
Gideon Oh! Coming! (Giggles; puts hamster down next to the twins) Guard them, Cheekums. I'm coming! (Runs off and pants)
Dipper (Picks up Q-tip and pokes the hamster with it)
Cheekums (Squeaks)
Dipper (To Mabel:) We've gotta get out of here and save Stan!
Mabel I know! (Puts Gummy Koala in her sweater's pocket) I will see you later.
Dipper Okay, how are we going to do this. Gideon's got magic and, like, a zillion inches on us. On the bright side, at least we're finally the same height again.
Mabel Actually...
Dipper (Finds a ruler and measures them) You're still taller? Arrgh! How did this happen?
Mabel I guess it's another mystery.
Dipper Just another reason we've gotta get that flashlight back. (Looks down at carpet)
Mabel (Sitting on Cheekums) Cheekums, to freedom! (Pats Cheekums) To freedom! (Pats Cheekums) Oh, you're just a big old dummy-dum!
Dipper (Looks at Gideon's hairbrush) I have a plan.
Dipper and Mabel (Slide down a rope made of Gideon's hairs; they hide in a shoe and peek out at Gideon and Bud, who are eating ice cream; the flashlight sits on the table)
Gideon Clean me! (Bud wipes Gideon's face with a cloth) Father, could you give widdle old me a ride to the Mystery Shack?
Bud Gleeful Oh, I'd love to, sugarpot, but I have a heck of a lot of cars to sell, I do! (Tickles Gideon) I do!
Gideon (Laughs) No, no, (furiously) NO, DON'T TICKLE MEEEE! NO! (Throws ice cream across the room where it hits a wall, just missing Mrs. Gleeful) NEVER! Never tickle me! What have I told you? What have I told — look at me — what have I told you?!
Bud Ticklin' is no laughing matter.
Gideon (Pats him) There we go.
Bud Do you still need a ride?
Gideon I'll just take the BUS! (Knocks table over, kicks door open and leaves)
Bud Precious memories. 
Mrs. Gleeful Just keep vacuuming. Just keep vacuuming...
Dipper  Come on! (He and Mabel go out the dog door to the parking lot) We need to get higher.
Mabel Yeah, especially you, 'cause you're short.
Dipper Mabel! up there. (Points at flying discount dollar, and they climb it to see Gideon and Lazy Susan at a bus stop)
Lazy Susan What cute little thing are you off to you cute little cutie-face?
Gideon I'm gonna annihilate my archenemy's entire family.
Lazy Susan (With a worried face) Oh okay... (Weakly) yaaay...
A bus drives by and Gideon enters.
Dipper  He's heading to shrink Stan!
Mabel Oh flying discount dollar, if only you could fly us back to the Mystery Shack.
Dipper Maybe it can. (Pulls out Swiss army knife with scissors, cuts the rope freeing the discount dollar and they start flying away
Bud  (Sees it and spit take) My sky high prices!
Dipper Yaaay!
Mabel Wooh hooo!
Dipper  Down there! (They push the wings to make the balloon fly lower, and follow the bus along the road)
Dipper and Mabel Yeah!
Mabel To the Mystery Shack!
Dipper and Mabel Yay!
Scene goes to the Mystery Shack. The balloon has crashed on the totem pole.
Dipper We're just in time, (points to the arriving bus that Gideon is on) but how are we going to stop him? (woodpecker pecks his head) Ah shoo ah ha ah!
Mabel (Sees a wire leading to the roof) Leave that to Mabel.
Gideon (Walks toward the Shack while humming) I'm comin' for ya, Stanford!
Mabel (Drops Gummy Koala in his hair) I'm sorry, gummy friend.
Dipper  It's for the greater good. 
Gideon Ugh! One of those infernal Gummy Koalas has gotten into my perfect hair. I can't defeat Stan looking like this. (drops flashlight and walks towards a bath tub to use it as a mirror, takes out the candy from his hair and sprays on hairspray) Woo! Woowee!
Dipper and Mabel (Run towards flashlight and set it up)
Mabel Quick, get in front and I'll re-grow you.
Dipper Okay. Wait, you're gonna grow us back to equal height right?
Mabel Dipper! That doesn't matter right now.
Dipper Well if it doesn't matter, why don't you just do it?
Mabel AWWW! Why you acting so weird! Why can't you just except that I'm a little bit taller than you?
Dipper Oh, I'm acting weird? You're the one who keeps calling me names and stuff.
Mabel Oh, what? You mean like little-
Dipper Don't say it!
Gideon Little Dipper. (picks up Mabel and Dipper)
Gideon I dare say you would have defeated me, if it wasn't for your sibling bickering! (Kicks open the door of the Mystery Shack) The Shack is mine, Stanford Pines! (Holds out flashlight and turns it on)
Dipper and Mabel Noooo!
Stan's fez falls to floor. Commercial break
Gideon (walks towards the fez and lift it up) Well, well, Stanford it appears I finally got the best of-
Soos (Is under the fez) Oh!
Gideon What?!
Soos (puts his hat back on) Alright, something's definitely different here...
Gideon (Puts Dipper, Mabel, and Soos in a glass jar and shakes them) Tell me where Stan is!
Soos Never! you'll never find Stan: on the second door to the left down the hall. Wait, why did I say that?
Gideon (Puts jar in his suit jacket) Oh Stanford, I'm coming for ya!
Dipper, Mabel, and Soos (Try to break out of the jar)
Mabel (Sees Gideon's picture on his school ID and sticks out tongue and makes rasberry)
Soos I guess I kinda Soosed that one up, didn't I?
Dipper It's not your fault, Soos, I'm the guy who put together that shrinking device. (To Mabel:) I guess it's just you kept teasing me Mabel, like all day. What was that all about?
Mabel (Gives him the notebook which keeps track of wins and losses) I guess it's that, you're like better than me at like everything, and you always rub it in my face... Chess, checkers, ping pong. I guess I finally felt like I was winning at something for once.
Dipper Oh man, now I feel like a big jerk.
Mabel Don't you mean a little jerk?
Dipper Oh!
Dipper and Mabel Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Dipper Alright I walked into that one. Are we cool?
Mabel We're cool. (Gives fist bump)
Soos Am I cool? (Holds out hand)
Mabel You're cool, Soos. (Fist bump)
Soos Yes!
Gideon ( In the mirror room, sees multiple Stans on the mirrors) Stanford!
Stan Oh hi, Gideon, I've been looking for someone to try out my new mirror maze, then again, you're an idiot. That's the end of the sentence. (leaves)
Gideon (Puts flashlight in other suit pocket) You come back here!
Stan Try and find me, twerp! Ha, ha ha!
Cut to Dipper, Mabel, Soos stacked up in the jar.
Mabel (On top, opens jar)
Dipper Let's get back that flashlight before Gideon gets Stan.
Dipper, Mabel, and Soos peek out of Gideon's pocket
Dipper There it is! (Points to the flashlight; they climb to Gideon's back)
Mabel Woah! His hair's so shiny! (approaches Gideon's hair)
Dipper (Pulls back Mabel) No! Don't look directly at it!
Soos (Jumps on Gideon's neck) His neck is really squishy! Hey look, I'm making fat angels.
Gideon Ew! Termites! (Hits back of neck, Soos falls off)
Soos (Falling) Tell my storyyyyy! (Lands on carpet) Hey, there you are! (picks up chip) Thought you could get away from me, eh corn chip? (Takes a bite out of corn chip)
Cut to Gideon looking for Stan in the mirror maze
Gideon (Sees one of Stan's reflections) AH! (Pulls out flashlight, shoots a beam, but it bounces around the mirrors and shrinks a moose head on the wall)
Stan Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Gideon NOW! (Throws flashlight and breaks mirror)
Stan Hey! Watch the merchandise!
Gideon (Breaks more mirrors)
Stan (Walks up to him) You little troll! Those mirrors cost me ten, I mean twenty-five, five-hundred. Five-hundred dollars each, and you're paying for all of 'em!
Gideon Oh contraire. It will be you who pays!
Mabel Grunkle Stan is doomed!
Dipper Not completely doomed! To his armpit!
Mabel Uh uh.
Dipper (Pushes Mabel in Gideon's clothing) Just! Uh! Come on!
Stan Woah! What is that thing?!
Gideon Finally after all these years, after every humiliation! Your business, your family, everything will finally be mine! You have no one to protect you now! (corners Stan to wall) Prepare for the wrath of Gideon Glee- Gideon glee- oh oh oh ah oh oh ah (falls to the ground and laughs uncontrollably)
Stan Eh. I don't even know how to respond to this.
Gideon (Laughing uncontrollably; Dipper and Mabel are tickling him) Uh ey ey ey! No! No! stop it! Ha, ha, ha!
Stan Look um, kid. I think this rivalry thing is getting to you. Ha, I understand. I mean, I'm a formidable foe, what can I say.
Gideon No! (Foam starts to come out of his mouth)
Stan Hey now, come on, you'll get me one of these days. Maybe, you know, run your evil plan by some friends next time. Workshop it, but first get your issues in order there.
Gideon (Still laughing uncontrollably) Ha! ehh, Ha!
Stan (Looks around then kicks Gideon across the floor) Up over the carpet, there we go, around the end table, and out the door. (Kicks him out the door)
Dipper and Mabel (While running on top of a rolling Gideon) Ah, ah, ah, whoa! (Jump off Gideon)
Gideon (Pats himself looking for flashlight) My light!
Stan (Sarcastically:) You're the light of my life too, pal. (Closes door) Whoa, freak show.
Dipper (Sets up flashlight) After you.
Mabel It's okay, you can go first if you want to. Woah! (Grows to normal size)
Mabel (Re-grows Dipper with flash light and measures height) Hey, you let me keep my extra millimeter!
Dipper You earned it.
Mabel Awww! Thanks! Little brothe-!
Dipper Stop it.
Mabel Well I guess we should destroy this thing. You know, so it doesn't fall into the wrong hands and junk.
Dipper Seems like the smart thing to do. (Gives Mabel the crystal)
Mabel (Smashes crystal with her foot) Die, die!
Soos There you dudes are! (Standing in front of some glass that he has arranged to spell "HELP SOOS") I've been trying to get your attention.
Mabel (lifts her foot off of the shattered crystal) Glue.
Dipper Lots of glue.
Cut to Gleeful residence.
Gideon (Pacing)
Bud Ah, son; don't you mind that Stanford Pines. You'll get your revenge one of these days.
Gideon (Flips chair over madly) Nooo! It's not just about revenge. I want that shack, the physical. Buildin'.
Bud But why?
Gideon Because it holds a secret you couldn't possibly imagine. (Maniacal laughter)
Bud Sweetie, you want some ice cream? 
Gideon Did you pick out all the nuts?
Bud (Nods) Hum uh. (Feeds Gideon ice cream)
Gideon (Laughs evilly) A little more. (Bud feeds him again) Ahahahah. Uhm, that's good.
Cut to credits.
Unnamed man (The doorbell rings, Stan opens door) Mister Pines. I'm from the Winninghouse Coupon Savers contest, and YOU ARE OUR BIIIIIIG WINNER! (Stan closes door) I guess we'll have to give the price to our runner up winner (reading from paper:) Fiddleford H. McGucket?
Old Man McGucket Wooh ooh ooh ey ha ha! (Walks on scene)
Unnamed man How would you like ten million dollars?!
McGucket It's my dream come true! (Happily takes check and begins to eat it)
Unnamed man (To cameraman:) Cross this town off our list. (Episode ends)

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