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Transcript.PNG This is a transcribed copy for the episode "Land Before Swine." Feel free to edit or add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Boyz Crazy" Next: "Dreamscaperers"
The episode begins with a car driving past a billboard with Gideon's face on it. Next to the billboard is Deputy Durland and Sheriff Blubs' squad car. The speed of the car diving by is 99 miles per hour (159.3 km/h), however, they are oblivious.
Sheriff Blubs Focus, Deputy. Remember your training. Easy...easy...
Deputy Durland (Trying a children's maze game)
Blubs You're almost there!
Durland (Somehow skips the treasure chest and lands into the mouth of the shark) Dang it! I almost got the treasure!
Blubs The time we spend together is treasure enough. (A rumbling starts) Hey, you feel that?
Huge claws tear through and rip the roof off the car
Durland Reckon' we should report that?
Blubs Or go for a ride in our new convertible!
Durland Whoooooooooo!
Blubs Yeaaaaaah!
They drive away while a roar is heard and a Pterodactyl flies past the moon
Cuts to theme song
Cuts to Stan giving a tour on the Mystery Cart
Stan Pines Ladies and gentlemen! Continuing our Mystery Tour you'll see the world famous Outhouse of Mystery! I got stuck in there once!
Boy Could I go to the bathroom?
Stan Save all questions until after the tour.
Boy (sighs) (The cart drives over a bump) (The boy looks down and sighs again)
Stan And up ahead if you look really closely, everybody get your cameras you're gonna wanna see this.
Cuts to Mabel and Waddles looking out the window
Mabel Pines Finally, Waddles, we have the whole house to ourselves! What do you think? Dance party?
Waddles (oinks)
Mabel I'm not hearing a no!
Mabel flips the sign from open to closed, turns on the volume of the radio, and the words "PIG DANCE PARTY" appear. Mabel dances by herself and with Waddles. They eat popsicles off the floor, Mabel squishes Waddles' face, they wear sunglasses and take pictures, eat books, and dance on the floor and table.
Mabel Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes...yes.....yes. (falls on the ground and Waddles licks her fingers) Uh oh! Cuddle time! (Waddles comes over and cuddles with her) Waddles, can I tell you a secret? You're my favorite pig in the whole world. (yawns and falls asleep)
Stan (Walks in, counting money) Heh heh. (trips over Mabel) Aah! Mabel? What are ya doing on the floor?
Mabel Being cute and great! (squishes her and Waddles' faces together)
Stan (Puts glasses on) And I thought your brother was weird.
Mabel No. He's more like (puts on one of the hats Dipper wears and tries to mock his voice) Aaah! Let's solve a mystery! I kiss a pillow with Wendy's face drawn on it!
Stan Ha ha ha. That's pretty good. Kissin' a pillow.
Waddles (Starts chewing on Stan's pants)
Mabel Go, go! Chew that pant leg!
Stan Ugh! (Raises his leg and Waddles tears off a piece of his pants) Alright! (opens window) Outside! Now!
Mabel No! Grunkle Stan! It's not safe for Waddles outside! There's predators! And barbecuers!
Stan That's just the natural order! It's not my fault your pig's potentially delicious!
Mabel He should be inside like a person.
Stan People don't roll around in their own filth. Except for Soos.
Mabel And we're the lesser for it. Maybe we're the ones who should be put outside. Huh? Huh? Think about it! Hmph! (walks out of the gift shop)
Cuts to Dipper and Soos in the forest, sitting on Soos's truck
Dipper Pines Today's the day, Soos. Thanks for coming along on this mission.
Soos Ramirez (Sweats like crazy) Dude it's an honor. Today I'm sweating from heat and excitement! Hoo! (wipes off sweat)
Dipper There's something hiding in these woods. Something big enough to rip the roof off a car. If we get a photo of this thing we'll be heroes!
Soos Yeah we'll get all the babes. You'll be fending off smooches with a stick! (nudges Dipper)
Dipper Ha ha, shut up, man. (nudges Soos)
Soos With a stick, dude!
Dipper Here, give me a boost.
Cuts to Soos and Dipper tying 3 cameras to 3 trees. Soos slides down to a branch where Dipper is drinking Pitt Cola
Soos Oof! Got it. (slides down) Is sap supposed to be this sticky? (tries to get it off)
Shows a fly trapped in the sap
Dipper If everything goes according to plan, the creature will grab that steak, cross through the string, and set off cameras A, B, and C.
Soos And nothing can go wrong. High five!
Soos and Dipper high five but they get stuck
Dipper This was poorly planned...
A roar is heard, a wind rushes through, and the cameras take pictures rapidly. Soos and Dipper look at it and the steak is gone, and the ropes are broken. Dipper and Soos give each other a huge smile
Cuts to Mabel making Waddles a red sweater with her face on it
TV Hey you!
Mabel Me? (looks at the TV)
TV Sick of constantly dropping your baby?
Man on TV Yes.
Bobby Renzobbi Hi, I'm Bobby Renzobbi! And what you need is the Huggy Wuvvy Tummy Bundle!
Man on TV I can hold ten babies at once!
Bobby I know what you're thinking: Does it work for pigs? Ah ha ha, yeah it does work for pigs, stupid! Feel your pig's heartbeat next to yours! IT WORKS FOR PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGS!!! (A giant pig nose comes on screen and oinks loudly)
Mabel (Gasp) Grunkle Stan! I'm off to get a Huggy Wuvvy Tummy Bundle!
Stan Yeesh. Isn't knitting matching sweaters for that pig enough?
Mabel (Pauses) Nope. Anyway (picks up Waddles) I need you to look after this little gentleman while I'm gone.
Waddles (Eats a fly)
Stan Not now, kid, I got some tourists coming through.
Mabel Grunkle Stan, I know you're not crazy about Waddles.
Stan He's a fat, naked, jerk.
Mabel But you do care about me. Promise me you won't let him outside. (Tilts head and smiles)
Stan Fine, yeah yeah, I promise.
Mabel Thanks Grunkle Stan! (runs out of the house)
Stan I'm watching you, pig. (Points at Waddles)
Waddles (Touches Stan's finger)
Stan Ugh.
Dipper and Soos come in with the cameras
Dipper We did it! It tripped the wire! Somewhere in one of these cameras is a photo of that creature! I'll go develop the film.
Soos I'll go make us victory nachos. Dipper and Soos for life! (They fist bump and laugh. Then Dipper goes upstairs)
Stan And here, ladies and gentlemen, is our final exhibit, the most hideous creatures known to man! (He unveils a mirror, the tourists stare and laugh once they get the joke)
Tourist It's us. (more laughing)
Stan Right, right? We (laughs) we have fun here. But seriously, folks, (walks over to another exhibit) THIS is something. I present to you, a unicorn made OUT of corn, The Corn-i-corn! I- i don't know, I'm tired.
(Stan unveils the corn-i-corn and they gasp, then frown as they see the destroyed mesh of wires.)
Stan What the!?
Waddles is seen eating one of the pieces of corn.
Tourist What a rip off! Kids, we're leaving. (The kids drop their merchandise and the tourists leave)

No! Noooo! (He turns around to face Waddles) You!!

Waddles stares at him innocently and a piece of corn falls off his face
Dipper is in his bedroom, converted to a dark room for the film
Dipper C'mon, c'mon! Hmm... (he lifts up a picture of the pterodactyl's wing) That's a wing! If camera B got the wing, then the one that should have gotten the rest is... camera C! (He runs over to another picture being developed. The photo starts to appear) The creature!
Soos comes in, opening the door loudly
Soos Who wants victory nachos?
The picture of the creature fades away
Dipper NO! (Picks up the photo and frowns)
Soos Dude don't worry. I only ate like a third of them. Half of 'em. (Starts laughing) I ate all of them, dude!
Cuts to Stan taking Waddles outside the Mystery Shack
Stan Just ten minutes without this pig in the house. (Starts tying Waddles to a peg) Is that so much to ask? (Hammers the peg to the ground) There. Mabel asks, this never happened. (Places a bill in Waddles' rope) (mocks Mabel) Oh but Grunkle Stan it's not safe out there! There's predators! (stops mocking) Oh brother...

The creature comes out of nowhere in a gust of wind, and snatches Waddles. Stan turns around while Waddles screams loudlyThe creature turns in the opposite direction

Dipper I can't believe you, man!
Soos Sorry, dude. I was just so excited! Nachos cause excitement!
Dipper Soos, no offense, but you gotta be more careful sometimes. I mean, what are the odds we'll get another picture of- (The creature flies by)
Dipper and Soos run outside to see the creature. They see a trail of red yarn from Waddles' sweater through the woods.
Soos Dude, did you see that? That thing was a dinosaur, bro!
Dipper How is it possible that a dinosaur survived 65 million years?
Soos Did you see it, Mr. Pines?... Mr. Pines?
Stan It- it took him.
Dipper Took what?
Stan The pig! It took Waddles!
Mabel (rides up on bike) What did you say about Waddles? Oh. Woah. Awkward silence. (pause) BWAAAAH!
Commercial break
Mabel What's going on? Why are you standing around are awkwardly?... And where's Waddles?
Stan Um- uh- (hides the stake he used to tie Waddles to) The good news is, you're gettin' a puppy!
Mabel What happened?
Stan Well, see, uh, when the uh-
Soos Your pig got eaten by a pterodactyl, bro!
Mabel What!? Waddles? Waddles! Oh no, how did this happen? Grunkle Stan, you didn't put him outside?...
Stan What? No! I didn't put him anywhere! I'm not acting suspicious! YOU'RE acting suspicious. What's a pig?
Dipper Then... what happened?
Stan Uh, look, it went down like this, see? So there I was, in the living room...
Crossfade to fantasy sequence where Stan is lovingly caring for Waddles
Stan ... tenderly nursing him on only the richest of creams. When all of a sudden-
Pterodactyl bursts through the door and roars. It grabs Waddles out of Stan's arms.
Stan So I said, (imagining growing huge muscles and tearing off his shirt) "No dice, cowboy!" And I started punching him right in the face! But he played dirty...
(Pterodactyl pokes Stan in the eyes)
Stan That really happened! (in his imagination) Why? Why couldn't you have taken me!?' (starts crying)
(crossfade back to reality, where he is pretending to cry)
Mabel Oh, Grunkle Stan, you tried to save him! (gives Stan a hug)
Stan Uh, yeah! I'm a great man, alright.
Dipper You punched the pterodactyl in the face? I thought you didn't even believe in the supernatural.
Stan Dinosaurs aren't magic, they're just big lizards! Get off my back.
Mabel Oh, Waddles.
Dipper That's it. No pterodactyl is gonna messes with MY sister. We're gonna go out there, catch him, and save your pig! For Mabel, guys!
Soos For Mabel!
Stan But how do we even find the little guy?
Mabel (gasps) We follow that! (points to the yarn trail from Waddles' sweater)
Dipper & Soos Yes! Yeah! That's genius!
Stan Or, you know, we could just call it a day, maybe hit the pool haul, or- (stops as everyone stares at him) Yeah! Let's go... save Woggles!
Mabel Waddles.
Stan Him too.
Cuts to Soos spraypainting the words PTERODACTYL MOBILE on the side of a pickup truck
Soos All right! That p-terodactyl (pronounces the p) won't know what hit him!
Dipper Ha! It's pterodactyl.
Soos Actually, no one knows how to pronounce it because nobody was alive back in dinosaur days, so uh... (straps cage to truck and nearly gets run over) Whoa! Almost ran over my own head there! (Laughs) Wow.
Dipper Mabel. We've got to talk. This is a really high-stakes mission and I'm a little worried about Soos coming along on this one. I love the guy, but sometimes he messes stuff up.
Mabel What? Since when?
Cuts to Soos sweeping in the Mystery Shack. He knocks over a crystal ball, which shatters.

Sorry, dude.

Cuts to Soos putting in a window. It falls out and breaks.
Soos Sorry, dude.
Cuts to Mabel and Dipper in their room. There is a fairy outside the window
Mabel Look! A fairy!
Dipper Woah!
A flyswatter comes up and squishes the fairy. Soos' face appears
Soos (laughing) Oh, sorry dudes, I just killed that fairy!
Cuts back to the present where Dipper and Mabel are staring at each other
Mabel Let him down easy. (Watches Dipper go to talk to Soos)
Soos This is so great! You and me, bro. Best friends. Fighting and potentially high-fiving dinosaurs...
Dipper Soos, look. I, uh, I've gotta tell you something.
Soos Okay. But before you do, check out these matching shirts I made for us! (points to shirt) Who's this guy right here? You! Totally you, dude. And these rays indicate friendship! What was it you were going to tell me again?
Dipper Uh... p-terodactyl here we come! Uh, ha ha...
Soos Yes!
Dipper (sighs)
Soos Bros before dinos!
Mabel (pull up to abandoned church) Okay, the red yarn leads to...
Old Man McGucket Doodly doo do doo do!
Mabel Old Man McGucket!?
McGucket Howdy, friends!
Dipper What are YOU doing out here?
McGucket You'll never believe me! Now I was doin' my hourly hootnanny- Deedly doo ding dang! (does dance)
Stan Ugh, this guy.
McGucket When this enormous wing-ly critter stole my musical spoons and flew lickety-split into the abandoned mines down yonder!

(everyone looks down into the mines and gasps)

Stan Looks kinda hairy down there.
Mabel C'mon, Grunkle Stan, you can handle it! You punched a pterodactyl in the face, remember?
Stan Oh yeah! Heh heh, I did do that, didn't I. Heh... heh heh heh...
McGucket My, what suspicious laughter!
Mabel Guys, we're going in.
Old Man McGucket Need someone to tag along and tell weird personal stories?
Stan No thanks.
(Cut to everyone, including Old Man McGucket, climbing down a rope into the depths of the mine)
McGucket So there I am, fighting a raccoon for the same piece of meat, when our mouths get close and we kiss accidentally!
Stan (sighs) You can't take a hint, can you.
McGucket Nope!
(Shows rope fraying through, then breaking, spilling everyone to the ground below)
Dipper Whoa.
All (gasp, whisper in surprise)
Dipper These plants look all Jurrasic-y.
Soos Huh! This little fella smells like battery acid! (Plant coughs acid into his face) Aaaugh! Looks like I lost my sense of smell, ha ha!
Mabel (Looking at picture of herself and Waddles) Oh, Waddles. We're gonna find you.
(They walk into a tunnel, where Dipper's lantern light falls on a petrified T-Rex and everyone screams, then calms down and gasps at all the dinosaurs.)
Dipper They're trapped inside the tree sap! That's how they survived for 65 million years! (Sees a sap pile with a pterodactyl-shaped hole) Whoa. The summer heat must be melting them loose!
Stan Holy moley! Forget the cornicorn, this is the attraction of a lifetime! I could bring people down here and turn this into some sort of theme park! Jurassic... Sap Hole!
Soos Uh, dudes... (points to a velociraptor that has worked one single claw out of the sap and is slowly working on a hand)
Dipper Maybe... we should keep moving.
Stan This could be a gold mine! Velvety-rope type deal there, ticket booth here, ha! I should have put that pig outside ages ago!
Mabel Wait- what did you just say?
Stan Hm? What's that?
Mabel You said the dinosaur flew INTO the house. (Gasps and then frowns)
Stan No! Wait, uh, if you think about it-
Mabel You put Waddles outside, then you lied to me about it! (Crying) And now thanks to you, my pig could be dead! WADDLES COULD BE DEAD!
Stan Look, he's an animal. He belongs outside!
Mabel No, that's it. Grunkle Stan, I am never ever speaking to you again!
Stan Look, you can't be serious.
Mabel Oh, is someone talking right now? Because I can't hear them!
Stan Kid!
Mabel LA LA LA LA LA! I can't hear anyone! No one's talking to me!
Soos Guys, guys, don't fight! Why can't you be more like me and Dipper? Look, everything's gonna be cool. All we gotta do to find the pig is follow this here yarn! (Wraps yarn into a ball, then realizes he has just reached the end) Just keep following and following, until we reach the end! Oh- uh oh. (Stares into the network of mine shafts) Which- which cave was it again?
Dipper Arghhh! Soos, you lost the trail!
Soos Hey, come on. We'll find our way, TRUST me.
(Soos whacks Dipper playfully on the back, causing the lantern Dipper is holding to fly out of his hands and break.)
Soos ...Sorry, dude.
Dipper Ugh! That is it! See, this is why I didn't want to bring you along!
Soos Look! -What -what do you mean?
Dipper I MEAN, this is really important to Mabel, and you keep screwing everything up! You ruined our photograph, and now you got us hopelessly lost!
Soos But we're p-terodactyl bros! I made t-shirts!
Dipper It's pronounced pterodactyl! And these shirts are useless, they're gigantic!
Soos I have a different body type, dude!
Dipper Oh, so it's my fault?
(The whole group deteriorates into an argument as Mabel and Stan start arguing again.)
McGucket Hey! Cheer up, fellers! I fixed your lantern! (Everyone stares at Old Man McGucket in horror as they realize that he is standing underneath the pterodactyl)
McGucket (pause) AAAAAAAAUGH! Heh heh. What- what're we doing?
(commercial break)
McGucket (turns around and sees the pterodactyl) Hmm? Oh. Nobody make any sudden movements or loud noises. (pause)  YEEEEEEHAW! We found a pterodactyl!
(The pterodactyl shrieks and starts chasing the gang down the narrow tunnel on all fours. It gets caught for a couple of seconds in a doorway, allowing them to hide behind some rocks before the pterodactyl comes.)
Dipper Guys, we need a plan to get out of here.
Stan Okay, okay. How's about Mabel gets Soos a pig costume-
Soos I like it!
Stan ...and we use Soos as a human sacrifice!
Soos I like it!
Stan What do you say, Mabel?
Mabel Hmph.
Stan Ah, come on, you can't stop talking to me forever.
Dipper Yeah, Mabel, we have to work together here.
Soos Oh, what, you want to work with Mabel but not your buddy, Soos?
(Soos, Dipper, Stan start to argue to each other.)
Mabel Wait, did you hear that?
(Mabel see Waddles in a nest)
Mabel Waddles!
(Mabel smiles and runs to the nest.)
Soos Oh, wait, kid.
Dipper Mabel!
Stan Are you nuts?
Mabel (sarcasm) Oh, is someone speaking? Because I can't hear anything!
McGucket Oh no! She's gone deaf with fear!
Dipper Mabel, come back here!
(Everyone runs onto the mining cart track over to the nest)
Mabel Waddles!
Waddles (Grunts)

Oh, my Waddles! I'll never lose you again! (Rubs her face against Waddles)

Dipper (voice trembling as he notices the huge pile of human bones next to Mabel) Uh... Mabel?

(to Waddles) Shh. You're safe now.

Dipper Mabel, quick! We gotta- now we gotta get out of here!
(A huge shadow passes overhead and Waddles squeals in terror)
(Waddles immediately runs away)
Mabel Waddles, wait!
(Waddles keep running)
Stan Huh?
(Waddles jumps into Stan)
Stan Ah!
Stan Get off me, you dumb pig!
(The pterodactyl swoops down on Stan and Waddles, screeching.)
Dipper Look out!
(Everyone screams as the pterodactyl knocks Stan off the mining track and down into a deep chasm filled with prehistoric plants)
Mabel Oh no!
Dipper Stan!
Soos  Mr. Pines!
Stan Aaaaaaaaugh! (bounces off an enormous mushroom) Oof! Augh! (lands in a mud puddle) Ugh.
Waddles (grunting, rolling in the mud.)

Yeah, you would enjoy this. (Yells as the pterodactyl steals his hat) Aaaaaah! Huh?

(The pterodactyl drops Stan's fez in front of Dipper, Mabel, and Soos, who are crouching terrified in the pterodactyl's nest. They gasp.)
Mabel Guys! We gotta save them!
Dipper McGucket, do you have an invention that can distract the pterodactyl?
McGucket Do I!? (rummages around in hid hat for a few seconds) Nope.
(Everyone gasps as the solitairy pterodactyl egg cracks, falls on its side, and opens to reveal a baby pterodactyl, which makes a squeaking peeping noise.)
Mabel Awwww!
McGucket Well, welcome to the world, little feller- (the baby pterodactyl eats him) AAAAUGH!
Dipper, Mabel, and Soos (scream)
(Meanwhile, Stan and Waddles are hiding under a massive mushroom. Stan looks up as the pterodactyl flies over them.)
Stan The dumb thing must be hungry. I guess it's you or me, pig. (shoves Waddles out from under the mushroom) 
Waddles (gives Stan a cute look)
Stan What are you looking at? (looks at Waddles sideways as Waddles again blinks at him) Aw come on, don't give me that look! What am I supposed to do, let it eat me?
Waddles (stares at him)
Stan Argh! Oh, I get it. You're trying to guilt me. Well it ain't working, pal. Who cares if you're Mabel's favorite thing in the world? I can live without the kid talking to me all the time!... Telling me her jokes... makin' me laugh...
Waddles (snorts and cocks head)
Stan (laughs, then notices the pterodactyl swooping down towards them) Aw! Dang it! (puts Waddles in the Huggy Wuvvy Tummy Bundle) Well, this is just about the dumbest thing I've ever done. (to the pterodactyl) YOU WANT THIS PIG?!
Waddles WHOONK!
(slow-mo of Stan leaping at the pterodactyl. Cuts back to the baby pterodactyl)
Soos Ah dude! Did he really just eat that prospecter guy? That is messed up!
The baby pterodactyl spits out McGucket's hat. Then old man McGucket comes up from the pterodactyl's neck and peeks out from the mouth.
Old man McGucket I'm okay!
The baby pterodactyl swallows McGucket again. Mabel, Dipper and Soos backs off.
Dipper What do we do, what do we do!
Soos We have to get in a straight line.
Dipper What?
Soos The pterodactyl's eyes are so far apart, that if you stand right in front of it, it can't see you!
Dipper Soos, you've been wrong about stuff all day. How can we-
Soos Dude, look. I-I know I've messed up a lot. I could be sort of clumsy and.. It's not always as loveable as I think. But please, as my friend, just trust me on this one! 
Dipper looks at the baby pterodactyl and looks at Soos. Dipper gives a smile and nods at Soos.
Soos Get behind me, dudes!
Dipper and Mabel stands behind Soos. They move quietly. When the pterodactyl looks at them, they make a straight line. In the pterodactyl's eyes, they are out of it's vision.
Mabel It's working!
They walk on the track, making a line. when the pterodactyl turns it's head, they jump to the other line of the track. After they complete their crossing, the pterodactyl turns it's attention to eating stuff. The Pines twins and Soos rests behind the rocks. They all sigh.
Dipper Soos, you did it!
A cry of a pterodactyl is heard.
All Huh?
Looking up, a pterodactyl is flying around and a punching sound is heard.


Was that..?
Mabel Stan?
Close-up to the pterodactyl. Stan is punching it in is face in slow-mo. Mabel finds Waddles.
Mabel Waddles!
Dipper He's punching him in the face!
Stan From heck's heart I stabeth thee!! (Stabs at the pterodactyl)
The pterodactyl hits the cliff, crashes to the ground and Stan climbs up the cliff.
Soos and Dipper (Cheers at Stan)
Mabel stares at Stan delightly with Stan's hat.
Stan Here's your pig, kido. (Makes Waddles to wave to Mabel)
Mabel Waddles! (Stan gives Waddles to Mabel. Mabel hugs Waddles) You saved him for me!
Stan (Takes the hat) Yeah, well. (Behind him, the pterodactyl is climbing up) Some times you just gotta.. LOOK OUT!
They all start to run. The pterodactyl snaps at Dipper and ripped his vest. Back at the entrance, they discover the rope to climb up was cut.
Stan We're trapped!
Dipper sees the geyser pushing the rock up.
Dipper Quick! The geyser could shoot us back up!
They all climb in the geyser and the pterodactyl is approaching, but the geyser won't pump.
Dipper C'mon.. Go, go!
The pterodactyl roars and everyone screams.
Soos Bros before dinos! (Hits the geyser hard)
The geyser pumps them up and they land into the buliding all wet. The building collapses and covers the hole. Cuts to the Pines leaving the building.
Mabel I can't believe you did all that for Waddles!
Stan Ah, well. I can't have my favorite niece not talking to me. (Leans on a tree with sap on it) And if I gotta leap onto a pterodactyl and punch him in the face, then that's what I gotta do.
Mabel That's kinda sappy.
Stan W-what? That's how I feel!
Mabel No, I mean.. (Points Stan's hand)
Stan Oh, yeah. (Touches Mabel's face with the hand has sap on it) Gotcha! Ha ha ha ha. (Realies it doesn't fall off) Uh-oh. (Tries to put his hand off from Mabel. They both scream)
Cut to the car. At the back seat, Mabel, Waddles and Stan are sleeping. Zoom out to the front seat, which Dipper and Soos are sitting.
Dipper Check it out! (Holds his vest up. it has a hole) That thing destroyed my vest! (Discovers pterodactyl's tooth stuck in it) Soos, look! 
 Soos A real dinosaur tooth? That's awesome!
Dipper Not as awesome as you saving us back there. Pterodactyl bros?
Soos Pterodactyl bros. (The two fist bump) Whoosh! Hey! I pronounced it right that time!
Dipper Think we need to worry about the rest of those dinosaurs?
Soos I doubt it.
The camera pans back to the house. From the hole, old man McGucket pops out.
McGucket I ate my way through a dino-sour! (Laughs and plays his musical spoon)
Cuts to credits. Dipper and Soos are watching tv. 
Bobby Renzobbi Hey, I'm Bobby Renzobbi. Are your arms jealous of your legs? Then you need "Arm Pants!" The pants that you wear on your arms!
Dipper Yeesh. Who actually buys these informercial stuff?
Soos I know, right? (Turns to the phone) Cancel the order, cancel the order!
The camera turns to Mabel, Waddles and Stan. They are playing poker.
Waddles (Oinks)
Stan Snorting! That's his tell! I fold.
Mabel (Stands up) Tough luck, sucker! Waddles was bluffing.
Stan What? I had 4 aces! That pig is a wizard!
Waddles eats his cards.
Stan Look at him. He's taunting me!
Mabel I've been cheating the last 8 turns.
Stan Ha ha, that's my girl!

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