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Transcript This is a transcribed copy for the episode "Into the Bunker." Feel free to edit or add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Scary-oke" Next: "The Golf War"
Episode starts at Wendy's house, Dipper and Wendy watch Nearly Almost Dead But Not Quite!
Trixandra What do we do, Chadley? I thought they were dead!
Chadley Far worse Trixandra! They're... Nearly Almost Dead But Not Quite!
Trixanda (Screams)
Dipper Man, these movies are a lot less scary when you actually fought real zombies.
Wendy (to the TV) They're slow! Just power-walk away from them!
Dipper (Pokes Wendy with his elbow) How much you want to bet that guy dies first?
TV (Chomp)
Chadley Aah! My face is being eaten a lot.
Wendy and Dipper (laugh)
Wendy Chadley ain't pretty no more.
(Wendy's phone buzzes)
Wendy One second (Grabs phone) Ugh, another text from Robbie!
Dipper Oh, yeah! Robbie. How's, uh, how's all that going? (making circles with his finger)
Wendy Ugh, I'm over him, I just wish he was over me! Just look at these texts. (shows Dipper her phone) Winky frown? What does that even mean?
Dipper And you're not.. (cough) not like, seeing any other guys or..
Wendy Of course I am, meet my new boyfriend, dude. (pulls plush walrus into Dippers sight)
Dipper (laughs) Right, right.
Dipper (nervous laugh) So, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to maybe if, you know, you and me, whatever. I mean if maybe you (grimaces) wanted to join me and Mabel on this mystery hunt? Tomorrow? Conspiracy stuff and all that?
Wendy Yeah, dude. I love doing all that junk with friends. (shouts) Yo, Chadley watch out!
Dipper Yeah, that's what we are. (looks at note) That's all we'll ever be, (crumples it up, lies back) Friends.
Wendy Dude, you're laying on my bra.
Dipper (screams)
Cut to theme song
Workmen are fixing up the nearly destroyed mystery shack
Stan Hey, easy with that, it's genuine plastic! And repave the cracks in the parking lot while you're at it! I don't want my car falling into China!
Workman Mr. Pines, what exactly caused all this damage? I need to write a report.
Stan Uhhh, big woodpecker. (gift shop sign falls over) Keep the change. (stuffs several bills into the workman's front pocket.) I'm winking under my eye patch.
Workman Works for me.
Stan (lifts his eye patch, looks around) Now where'd those kids run off to?
(Dipper, Mabel, Soos and Wendy are standing around the tree that contained Journal 3.)
Dipper (taps a pen on his lantern) Thank you all for coming.
Mabel Hey, when there's a mystery, you can count on your sister. E.
Soos (laughs) That's an amazing rhyme. When you want some, good... When you need a Soos, you... Oh oh, gosh, I don't know.
Dipper We're here to solve the number one mystery in Gravity Falls; Who wrote this journal?! Thirty years ago the author vanished without a trace. But according to this new clue, (turn on black light) we may have found his secret hiding place. (the black light shows hidden drawings on the page) We find that author, we learn the answers to everything. We just need to figure out a way to get down there.
Wendy Chop it down, dudes! (arrives on bike, rings bell)
Dipper Wendy!
Mabel Oh, hey! You came.
Wendy Dude, I'm so stoked about this. I've been wanting to go adventuring with you guys. Sure beats picking up after my dad at home.
Manly Dan (cut) Ow!, Ow! Ow! Who put that wall there? Ow! (repeatedly hits his head on the low ceiling and knocks down a beam)
Wendy Thanks for the invite, man!
Dipper (flustered) Of course, anytime you wanna.. I, We're always... Us
Mabel Uh oh! (poked Dipper) inviting Wendy on out mission? Methinks there's romance afoot!
Dipper No, look I've thought this through and I'm over Wendy. I've looked at it from every angle, and that thing was going nowhere. I know what matters to me now, and it's finding the author of this journal.
Mabel Hah! YOU'RE over Wendy?! Allow me to put on my 'skepticals'. Whooop!
Dipper No, I've moved on, Mabel. you should too.
Mabel 'Skepticals'...
Wendy Hey, is it just me, or does that branch kinda look like a lever?
Dipper turns his back on the tree. Wendy uses her belt to start climbing up the tree.
Dipper Huh, yeah. But how do we get up there...? It seems we'd need like a ladder, or like, ladder shoes... Yeah, ladder shoes. I'll get Soos to draw up a prototype.
(At the top, Wendy pulls an ax out of her belt, swings it around and hits the lever)
Wendy Boosh.
Soos Whoa ho ho!
Mabel (gasps) Wow!
Wendy Oh yeah, my dad used to make me compete in these lumberjack games when I was a kid. Guess I kinda ruled at it.
(The tree begins shaking. Three crows fly away.)
Wendy Whoa, what is that? (Wendy falls down, screaming)
(At the bottom, the ground and tree sink down, taking Wendy with it. The others pull her out before she disappears. They stand around it as a staircase to the middle of the tree appears, and subsequently a door inside the tree opens.)
Dipper Alright guys, this is it. Remember, whatever happens down there, we tell no one.
(Mabel gives a thumbs up, Soos swings his cap back, and Wendy zips her lips.)

Now, who wants to go first? (Holds up a lantern)

(The four walk into the tree, in the order of Dipper, Wendy, Soos, and Mabel. They enter the bunker)
Mabel and Soos Whoa!
Dipper Cool!
Wendy This is so stupid cool!
Dipper It's like a fallout shelter or something. It must've belonged to the author.
Wendy (Takes the Fallout Shelter poster off the wall and dusts it off ) This is going over my bed.
Mabel (Puts face in a barrel and is shown with caterpillars on her face) Haha! (Eyes widen) My face feels fuzzy!
Dipper This is incredible! It's like he was preparing for a disaster. But what kinda disaster would need supplies for over sixty years? (looks up a shelf with dated boxes, the highest labeled 2070)
Soos (opens weapons locker) Oh my gosh! A Smez despenser! I remember these things. What's that, yes I will have some of your old-timey face food (eats candy from dispenser) Ew, dusty! (eats a second piece)
Dipper Wait guys, I think this can was opened recently.
Soos The Author might still be alive, down here!
Wendy Wait a minute... (a Gravity Falls map flutters, Wendy pulls it down, revealing an open hatch cover) I think I know where he might have gone...
Wendy Whoa!
(They crawl down the pipe, in the order of Wendy, Soos, Dipper and Mabel and enter a cubic room made up of rusty metal cubes)
Wendy Whoa! Oh, man! Was this place built in the past or the future? (She and Soos step over a square with a design on it)
Soos This room is way creepy.
Mabel Not as creepy as Dipper's internet history! Hey oh! (shoves Dipper, and he steps on the square with the design and it depresses, causing the hatch to slam and lock. The symbols on the other wall squares glow red, a buzzer sounds and the room starts to shake. Some squares start to poke into the room)
Soos What's goin' on, dude?
Mabel (as the others scream)  Haha, it's hard to be scared with caterpillars on your face.
Mabel Wall things! Crazy wall things happening right now!
Wendy (tries to push the blocks back in) It won't stop!
Mabel Dipper! What do we do?!
Dipper (flips frantically through the journal and stops at a page labeled "Security Room". He shines the blacklight on it.)Oh, come on! Find these four symbols! Quick! Everybody step on one!
Soos One! (pushes symbol)
Wendy Two! (punches symbol)
Mabel Three! (somersaults over and slaps the symbol)
Dipper Four! (climbs up blocks and taps symbol, a door opens on the other side of the room)
Mabel Run for it! (they make it, but a block catches Dippers vest)
Wendy Yes! Yes! That was, huh, that was nuts! (to Dipper) You ruled back there man!
Dipper Haha, thanks
Wendy Get a load of this crazy Surveillance Room
Soos Check it out dudes! (makes faces with beakers in front)
Wendy Soos, Soos, that is hilarious.
Mabel Hey bro you forgot your vest (walks to catch Dipper's vest and the note falls on the floor) What the..? (raises the note and reads) "Dear Wendy, I've always had a crush on..." (gasps and covers her mouth with the note) Oh my Gosh! (Returns to Dipper) Hey Dipper! Look what I found...
Dipper (Gasp) What did you..? Give me that!
Mabel I know it!, I know it!, I know it! You're not over Wendy at all (gasp) and you're gonna tell her today?
Dipper No, I changed my mind, it's a bad idea. I just embarrassed myself and not to be another guy she hates like Robbie
Mabel Dipper you should just tell her already. You will fell better
Dipper Look Mabel I can't tell her no matter how much I want to, so just drop it ok?
Wendy Dude! Dipper, do you
Dipper (To wendy) Coming! (Points himself) This never happened
Mabel He wants to tell her but it's scar. Thanks Mabel
Dipper What the? (gaps and hits the door) Mabel let us out!
Mabel Oh I'm
Wendy What is she talking about?
Dipper Nothing!
Dipper Let me out right now!
Wendy Uh! Turn on the light
Dipper and Wendy
UnknownMen Back you hated beast!

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