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Transcript.PNG This is a transcribed copy for the episode "Government Agency." Feel free to edit or add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
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NOTE: Old Man McGucket is the only one actually present at all times. All other speakers speak only on the TV, and are part of clips from previous episodes. When another character is talking or appears, assume that the focus has cut from McGucket to the screen, and when McGucket is talking, unless specified otherwise, assume that the focus is back on him.

Open with Old Man McGucket and cut between him and clips on the TV as he speaks.
McGucket Them city slicker government agents are always a-watching me. There watching all of us! I've seen them in town at (Offscreen, as the TV cuts to each place he lists:) puppet shows, fancy shindigs, even when I'm out shopping for buckets! (Cut to McGucket) A beaver ran off with my old one!
A beaver enters.
McGucket (To beaver:) You know what you did.
Mabel Pines Awwww, donkey shpittle!
McGucket I betcha there's even places I missed. (Rubs beard) Hmm… (Offscreen, as the TV cuts to each place he lists:) Swap meets, music festivals, behind that tapestry at the Northwest mansion. Globnar, penny arcades. (Cut back to him) Youth soccer games. Eh, go-cart tracks! (Laughs)