Goldie is a novelty mechanical dispenser owned by Stan Pines.
In "Soos and the Real Girl," Stan first unveils Goldie to a boy in the Mystery Shack gift shop. After Stan inserts a nickel, Goldie malfunctions, causing its eyes to pop out, the machine to scream, and oil to fill its mouth and spill over, sending the boy running away in tears. Wendy encourages Stan to dispose of the machine, saying "its face reminds everyone of the inevitability of death." The machine's mouth closes on Stan's arm, causing Stan to rip the statue from its pedestal trying to free himself. Stan brings the machine to Gravity Malls to dispose of it in a dumpster and find a replacement. Later when Stan fights an animatronic badger, the badger misses punching Stan and gets its fist stuck in Goldie's mouth. Stan thanks the machine for saving him and takes it to Las Vegas with him to gamble and party. Stan ends up marrying it while in Las Vegas.
Goldie consists of a copper-colored statue of a man kneeling on a wooden pedestal with a dish in his outstretched arms. The wooden base sits atop four wheels and reads "Pan For Gold 5¢." The statue wears stereotypical Gold Rush era clothing: suspenders, overalls, boots, brimmed hat, and rolled-up sleeves. His bearded face is grinning with a wide-open mouth, tongue sticking out, and two prominent upper teeth. Tourists can place a nickel in a slot in his mouth to activate the machine, which is supposed to dispense "nuggets" after raising its hat in thanks. However, he malfunctions, shaking hard enough to dislodge his eyes while screaming and spewing oil (which streams from its mouth and "eyesockets" in a truly disturbing display), sparks and smoke.
- It is possible that Goldie and Stan's marriage was cancelled shortly after their trip to Las Vegas.
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