Gideon Rises/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy for the episode "Gideon Rises." Feel free to edit or add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

Previous: "Dreamscaperers"

Next: "TBA"

!	This transcript is under construction. Therefore, please excuse its informal appearance while it's being worked on. We hope to have it completed as soon as possible. (August 4, 2013)

	The episode opens with a shot of Gravity Falls. Suddenly, a dark shadow covers the entire town. The camera cuts to a wrecking ball destroying the Mystery Shack. Dipper suddenly wakes up and screams.
Dipper	(screams) I just had a horrible dream that Gideon stole the deed to the Mystery Shack, and kicked us out, and we all had to move in with Soos' grandma?
Soos	That was no dream, dude.
Dipper	(screams)
	Everyone wakes up.
Abuelita	Shh. Por Favor.
Dipper	Uh, sorry, Abuelita.
Mabel	Oh, Soos, your grandma is so adorable and her skin is so old lady soft. Haaaahh!
Stan	Mabel, quit being creepy. The news is finally on.
Shandra	In a movement that has all of Gravity Falls buzzing, child psychic Gideon Gleeful has taken surprise ownership of the Mystery Shack, previously belonging to area shyster, Stanford Pines.
Stan	That picture's taken out of context.
Shandra	Now that you have the shack, what exactly are you planning to do with it?
Gideon	I have a big announcement to make today, and I'd like to cordially invite all the good people of Gravity Falls to join me. Free admission to anyone who wears their Gideon pins! It's my face! (winks)
Dipper	I just can't believe Gideon beat us. Normally I'm able to save the day. This is all my fault.
Mabel	Don't worry Dipper. Looks like Mabel's going to have to be the hero of the family now. I'll defeat Gideon with my grappling hook!
Dipper	Mabel, no offense but that grappling hook has literally never helped us once.
Mabel	Oh yeah? Jelly grab!
	Mabel shoots her grappling hook at a jar of jelly, causing it to break and splatter jelly on the walls.
Abuelita	I vacuum the walls now.
Soos	So you lost the Shack. But look on the bright side dudes, now you get to live here with me, Soos. Hey, anyone want to play race cars? They're out of batteries but we can make pretend.
	Soos spits out two pieces of food.
Soos	Would that be a new low if I ate that? Haha I'm just kidding, I'm totally eating it!
Stan	We gotta get the Shack back.
	Cuts to opening
Gideon Gleeful	Hello Gravity Falls!
	Cuts to audiences and then cut to Toby Determined and Lazy Susan
Lazy Susan	Gideon is a psychic guess, he guessed the secret ingredient to my coffee omelette.
Toby Determined	Somehow he knew about my horrifying secret birthmark!
Manly Dan	I love that child psychic so much!
	He squeezes Blubs and Durland.
Officer Blubs	You're choking me!
Deputy Durland	Grandma, is that you?
	Camera pans to the Pines and Soos in their disguises.
Dipper	We're in.
Mabel	Just gonna say it, I don't know what we're doing here, but I'm loving these fake mustaches.
Soos	If anyone asks, I'm not Soos.
Gideon	Ladies and gentlemen! Today I am delighted to announce my plans for the former Mystery Shack. I give you...Gideonland!
The Pines and Soos	What?!
Gideon	We're gonna turn this dirty ol' shack into three square miles of Gideon entertainment. And introducing our new mascot, Lil' Gideon Jr.!
	Bud Gleeful pulls off a cloak to reveal Waddles in a Gideon costume.
Gideon	Boom, he's a pig!
	Camera cuts to Mabel.
Mabel	Waddles! You monster!
Stan	All right, that's it! (Pulls off disguise.)
	The Pines push their way into the crowd and run up the stage.
Stan	Listen up, people. Gideon's a fraud! This kid broke in and stole my property!
Mabel	Arrest him, officers!
Dipper	Yeah!
Gideon	Such accusations! Mr. Pines, I recall you gave the property to me. Look, it's the deed right here! )He pulls the deed out of his shirt as he says this.)
	Camera cuts to Blubs and Durland .
Blubs	Well that's all proof I need to see.
Durland	I love you, Lil' Gideon! Sing that funny songs!
	Camera cuts to Gideon with two burly guards. Gideon snaps his fingers, and the guards get ready to kick the Pines off the stage. The first grabs ahold of Mabel.
Mabel	Hey!
	Dipper and Stan are grabbed by the two guards.
Gideon	Now get off my property, old man! (Slaps a Gideon pin on Stan.)
Stan	I'll show you who's the old man (His hearing aid acts up.) Ow, my hearing aid! Ow!
	The Pines get carried off the stage.
Gideon	Thanks for visiting Gideonland, friends! Don't come back, I don't care for y'all.
	Camera cuts to the Pines and Soos as they watch the ceremony through a chain-link fence then sigh as they lean on it. Dipper kicks a rock out of frustration.
Dipper	Don't worry, guys. We'll get the shack back somehow.
	Wendy appears.
Wendy	We better.
Dipper	Wendy!
Wendy	If I don't work at the Shack, my dad is gonna force me to move upstate to work at my cousin's logging camp.
Dipper	What? You're leaving town? But we need you here!
Soos	Yeah especially Dipper because of his giant crush on-
	Dipper glares at Soos.
Soos	...you...calyptus trees! Ha! The kid loves eucalyptus trees! (Laughs nervously) Safety!
	There's a noise from the bushes.
Wendy	Oh man, guys. Don't look now.
	Robbie emerges from the bushes holding a boombox.
Robbie	Take me back, Wendy! My arms are too skinny to keep holding on to this boombox forever!
Wendy	(Mounts her bike.) I was never here. (Rides away.)
Robbie	(Chases after her.) Have you've been getting my texts?! Do I need to send you more texts?! Wendy!
	The scene crossfades to Soos' grandmother's home
Abuelita	This is bad. I cannot feed such a big family.
Mabel	Where are we gonna stay, Dipper? (Camera pans out to reveal a suitcase filled with Mabel's sweaters.) Where am I gonna put all my sweaters?
Dipper	What's Stan gonna tell Mom and Dad?
Soos	Mr. Pines will figure something out. He always does.
	Camera zooms out then cuts to Stan on the phone with Dipper and Mabel's parents.
Stan	Don't worry, your son and daughter are fine. Where are we staying? Uh, I put 'em up in this amazing four star hotel!
	A cockroach goes up in flames after touching a broken toaster wire.
Stan	(Opens refrigerator) What, uh, sure we got- (Shakes a near empty gallon of milk) -plenty to eat. (Closes the fridge.) Relax, if I thought I couldn't take care of these kids, I'd send them back right away. Uh huh, you too. (Puts phone down).
Mabel	(Offscreen) Grunkle Stan, can we order some pizza?
	Stan checks his pockets only to discover they're empty. Camera cuts to a wider shot of the kitchen and Stan sighs.
	Scene switches to the construction of Gideonland. Camera then cuts to a fireplace as a picture of the Pines from "The Legend of the Gobblewonker is thrown into it. Gideon is then shown laughing as he examines book 2. Meanwhile, Waddles attempts to climb out the window..
Gideon	Back to your corner!
Waddles	(Scampers to the corner and starts cringing and shivering.)
	Bud Gleeful appears with his sad clown painting.
Bud	I've been meaning to ask you, boy; shouldn't you be celebrating Gideonland instead of sticking your head into that dang book all day?
Gideon	Father, have I ever told you the true nature of this book?
	The scene transitions to someone writing book 2.
Gideon (narrating)	It was written many years ago by a brilliant unknown author who learned secrets too powerful for any man.
	The author is shown burying the book.
Gideon (narrating)	He hid his journal where he thought no one would ever find it.
	The scene fades to the books 1 and 2 coming closer together with Gravity Falls on fire and Gideon in the background.
Gideon (narrating)	But he knew that if the journals were ever bought together, they would unleash a gateway to unimaginable power.
	The scene fades back to Gideon.
Gideon	Codes and maps had led me to believe that the other book is buried somewhere on this very property, and I intend to find it!
Bud	So that's why you wanted the Mystery Shack.
	The scene shows Gideon with a shovel.
Gideon	That's right father, it's time to begin the search for the other journal!
	The scene fades to Old Man Mcgucket working on the Gideon bot then fades to Dipper, Mabel and Soos.
Mabel	Go red car!
Soos	Go other red car!
Dipper	This will be a lot more fun with batteries.
	Soos moves the red car then it bumps the other red car out of it's place.
	Stan pops in the room and clears his throat
Stan	Kids, we've got to talk. Look I've been thinkng and I can't take care of you anymore. I don't have house or a job, the plan is, you're going home. Your bus leaves tomorrow here are your tickets.
Dipper	But Grunkle Stan, you can't give up!
Soos	Yeah dude, look at these faces!
	Soos begins shaking Mabel
Soos	Be cuter Mabel! Your summer depends on it!
Stan	Look, I lost okay? The best thing is for you to be with your parents. Sorry kids, Gideon won. Places Dipper and Mabel's bus tickets on the table. Summer's over.
Soos	Mr. Pines! Reconsider!! (runs after him)
Dipper	Mabel, that's enough. If Stan won't get our home from Gideon, then we'll have to do it ourselves.
Mabel	Gideon may have the upper hand, but we have something he doesn't have.
Dipper and Mabel simultaneously	The journal!
	A grappling hook!
Mabel	Oh. The journal... Journal!
	Cut to the outside of the now fenced off Mystery Shack.
Dipper	Alright, the bus to take us out of Gravity Falls comes at sundown. If we wanna stay in town we've got to get past those gaurds, make it through that fence, and get Gidoen to hand over that deed.
Mabel	Leave that to Mabel. Pa-chaw!
	Mabel shoots the grappling hook which hits Dipper in the face.
Dipper	Ah!
Dipper	Now will you admit the grappling hook is useless!
Mabel	Nope.
Dipper	Ok. What can we use to defeat Gideon? Let's see... Barf fairy?
Mabel	Yeah!
Dipper	Nope. Butternut Squash with Human Face and Emotions?
Mabel	Yeah!
Dipper	Nope.
Mabel	Woah, what's this?
Dipper	I stared at this page for hours. It seems like a blueprint to build some kind of strange futuristic super weapon--
Mabel	BORING. To defeat those guards we need some kind of army.
Dipper	...Wait a minute! An army! Mabel, that's it! The gnomes!
Mabel	Uhh...
	(Cuts to the twins entering the Gnome Forest)
Dipper	I think this is their hiding spot.
Mabel	I wonder what Gnomes do out here all alone in the forest.
Both	Aaah!
	(They see Jeff bathing in squirrels;;)
Jeff	Do do do.. (sees them) Aah! This...this is normal. For Gnomes. Scrub scrub. (Scrubs his armpit with a squirrel)
Dipper and Mabel	(Look at each other disgusted, and look back at Jeff)
Jeff	Well, well, well. Look who came crawling back. Take five, Chris. (a squirrel jumps out of the tub) You guys keep doing what you're doing. So. Change your mind about marrying me, didja Mabel?
Mabel	Ew, hardly. We need your help. And seriously, ew.
Jeff	You want our help!? After you left me at the alter!? No dice!
Mabel	But what if we were able to get you a new queen? One even more beautiful than me.
Dipper	He name is Gideon, and she has lovely white hair.
Jeff	Whoa. Mature women, eh? Shmebulock, get my cologne!
Shmebulock	(comes in) Shmebulock!
Jeff	Is Shmebulock all you can say?
Shmebulock	Shmebulock...
Jeff	It's a deal! (shakes hands with Dipper)
	(Cuts to Greasy's Diner)
Stan	Waiter, give me a glass of the strongest most expired apple cider you've got.
Soos	Sure thing, Mr.Pines.
Stan	(Looks up) Soos? What are you doing here?