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Gravity Falls Wiki
Transcript.PNG This is a transcribed copy for the episode "Eyes." Feel free to edit or add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
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NOTE: Old Man McGucket is the only one actually present at all times. All other speakers speak only on the TV, and are part of clips from previous episodes. When another character is talking or appears, assume that the focus has cut from McGucket to the screen, and when McGucket is talking, unless specified otherwise, assume that the focus is back on him.

McGucket comes up with a whistling sound. He looks at various objects, including a jar of eyeballs and a skull, as he speaks.
McGucket Hmm, you ever notice how many people in Gravity Falls have only one eye?
Mabel Pines Whach'u talkin' 'bout?
McGucket (As he lists off each person, a clip of them plays) Lazy Susan's always got one closed.
Stan Pines She's so classy.
McGucket Old Stan covers his peeper with an eye patch.
Stan Darn right I do.
McGucket Then there's that baldy feller.
Mabel Your name is Toot-Toot McBumbersnazzle!
McGucket Bill.
Mabel Wait, hold on. Triangle Guy?
McGucket I don't even wanna know what happened to that lumberjack.
After the clip of the lumberjack plays, cut to Dipper, who is screaming and flailing his arms.
McGucket I told it to a skunk and he said, "McGucket don't be a sap head."
Mabel Womp womp.
McGucket But hoooo-diddly! I betcha they're all connected!