The Hand That Rocks the Mabel/Transcript

{|class="wikitable" width="100%" valign="top" !Grunkle Stan ! ! !Tiger Fist narrator ! ! !Tiger Fist narrator !Soos !Bud Gleeful !Actor in advertisement !Bud Gleeful !Dipper !Mabel !Bud Gleeful !Mabel !Bud Gleeful ! !Bud Gleeful ! !Mabel !Grunkle Stan ! !Grunkle Stan !Mabel !Dipper !Grunkle Stan !Dipper !Mabel ! !Mabel !Bud Gleeful ! ! !Bud Gleeful ! !Dipper ! !Mabel !Dipper ! !Gideon ! !Dipper !Mabel !Gideon ! !Mabel !Dipper !Mabel !Gideon ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
 * The episode opens to Grunkle Stan tricking customers to put their money into a "sack of mystery" to watch it mysteriously disappear.
 * The episode opens to Grunkle Stan tricking customers to put their money into a "sack of mystery" to watch it mysteriously disappear.
 * The episode opens to Grunkle Stan tricking customers to put their money into a "sack of mystery" to watch it mysteriously disappear.
 * For tonight's final illusion, we have the incredible "sack of mystery." When you put your money in, it mysteriously disappears.
 * The crowd mutters several positive things about the trick's credibility and Grunkle Stan's character.
 * Cuts to Dipper, Mabel, and Soos watching television.
 * The tiger was badly injured in the explosion, but we repaired him with a fist.
 * Dipper, Mabel, and Soos start cheering.
 * The tiger punches itself.
 * Tiger Fist will return after these messages.
 * Hey, look. It's that commercial I was telling you guys about.
 * [Narrating advertisement.] Are you completely miserable?
 * YES!
 * [Narrating advertisement.] Then you need to meet Gideon.
 * Gideon?
 * What makes him so special?
 * [Narrating advertisement.] He's a psychic.
 * A who?
 * [Narrating advertisement.] So don't waste your time with other so-called men of mystery.
 * The screen is stamped with the word fraud  when Grunkle Stan coming out of an outhouse.
 * [Narrating advertisement.] Learn about tomorrow tonight at Gideon's Tent of Telepathy.
 * Narrator speeds through sub-text for the commercial.
 * Wow, I'm getting all curiousy [sic] inside.
 * Well, don't get too curiousy [sic]. Ever since that monster Gideon rolled into town, I've had nothing but trouble.
 * Cuts to Grunkle Stan driving in a parking lot. He spots an open parking spot and attempts to back in, but Gideon's tour bus pulls in first.
 * [Makes a fist.] Gideon!
 * Well, is he really psychic?
 * I think we should go and find out.
 * Never! You're forbidden from patronizing the competition. No one that lives under my roof is allowed under that Gideon's roof.
 * Do tents have roofs?
 * I think we just found our loop hole... literally.
 * Mabel holds up a string with a loop in it.
 * Womp womp!
 * [Narrating advertisement.] So come down soon, folks. Gideon is expecting you.
 * Cuts to theme song.
 * Cuts to a crowd entering the Tent of Telepathy.
 * Step right up there, folks. Put your money in Gideon's psychic sack.
 * Crowd mutters several positive things about the sack's credibility.
 * Woah, this is like a bizarro version of The Mystery Shack. They even have their own Soos.
 * Dipper points to a maintenance worker who looks very similar to Soos. Soos glares at the lookalike.
 * It's starting! It's starting!
 * Let's see what this monster looks like.
 * Gideon appears on the stage.
 * Hello America! My name is 'Lil Gideon.
 * Gideon claps and doves fly out of his hair. The crowd cheers.
 * That's Stan's mortal enemy?
 * But he's so wittle [sic].
 * Ladies and gentlemen, it is such a gift to have you here tonight... such a gift. I have a vision. I predict that you will soon all say, "aw."
 * Gideon makes a cute pose and the crowd says "aw."
 * [Amazed.] It came true.
 * What? I'm not impressed.
 * You're impressed!
 * Hit it, dad.
 * Bud Gleeful starts playing the piano while Gideon sings 'Lil Ol' Me.