User blog:CaptainJones123/Gravity Falls Fan Episode 5

Hi, yet again. This one is called "Dipper's House Party".

Transcript
[Dipper is running down the aisles trying to get to the check-out counter as soon as possible]

Dipper: Boom! 19 seconds! That's a new record, Lou! But it's not an official record until we record it in the Book of Records. [writes the record down in a book] 19 seconds.

Lou: Ok, it's a $1.42.

Dipper: Sign here please. [signs] Initial here, here, and here. [Dipper notices a picture of Lou from a while back] Oh look, it's a picture I took of you the first time I ever came here! [picture shows a happy Lou]Look at you, so young and happy! [puts the picture down and we see a sad Lou] Where do the years go? Hey, what's that? 'Plan Your Own Party Kit'? Hey Lou, how much?

Lou: For the Plan Your Own Party kit? Oh, we're having a special on those. Uhh, they're free, but you have to leave, right now. [scene cuts to Dipper's house]

Dipper: Let's see Waddles, according to the 'Plan Your Own Party Kit', invitations are the first order of business. [reads first thing on list] A guest list consisting only your closest acquaintances will set an intimate tone for the evening and provide soiree success. Well, you heard the man, Waddles, only our closest friends.

Husband: [reads invitation] Who the barnacle is Dipper Pines? [wife peeks from around the corner]

Wife: I believe you went to kindergarten with him, dear. [shows a picture of Dipper and his Kindergarten class]

Husband:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Kindergarten, huh? Oh yeah, Pines. Well, it's time to move again.

Dipper:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Boy, Waddles, this 'Plan Your Own Party Kit' is a real life-saver. [mixing ingredients and reading a cook book]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> How else would I have known to make freshly-whipped clotted cream. [takes a little taste]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Waddles, you better call an astronomer, because this clotted cream is outta this world! [timer goes off]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> My piñata! [takes out the piñata from the oven and tosses it around because it's hot then puts it on the table]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> The 'Plan Your Own Party Kit' suggests creativity when stuffing your piñata, so I'm using deviled eggs. [puts eggs in the piñata]

Waddles:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Oink.

Dipper:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Good question Waddles, but not to worry. The 'Plan Your Own Party Kit' warns that unsupervised parties can lead to disaster. That's why I've taken the liberty of devising a schedule! [takes out list]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> 8:00-8:05: Guests arrive. 8:05-8:15: Opening remarks and general discussion. 8:15-8:27: Craft corner, followed by name tag distribution. [list rolls across the table]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> At 8:27, we begin the qualifying rounds for our cracker-eating slash tongue-twister contest. 9:07: running charades. [list rolls along the wall]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> 9:38: charity apple-bob. [list is still rolling around]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> 9:57: Electric jitterbug dance marathon, ladies' choice. ''[winks at Waddles. The list stops on Dipper's head]''<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> At 10:09, things start cooking as I dig into my world-famous knock-knock joke vault!

Waddles: Oink. Dipper:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> And as long as we stick to this schedule, our party is a guaranteed success! This is gonna be the coolest party ever! [puts a party hat on Waddles's head] Dipper:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Ok, Waddles, get ready. It's almost 8:00! And here they come! [looks at his watch]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Don't worry too much Waddles, it's only ten seconds past 8:00. [gasps]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Now it's twenty seconds past 8:00! Maybe no one got their invitations! 30 seconds past 8:00! Oh, I'm doomed! [cries]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> No one's coming! I'm the worst host ever! [doorbell rings]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Oh, the first guest! And only 40 seconds late. [opens door to see Soos] Soos:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Hi, Dipper. Dipper:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Welcome Soos! May I compliment you on being fashionably late? Can I get you a glass of punch? Soos:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Sure? [Dipper runs over and pours a glass] Dipper:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Did you have any trouble finding the place? [gives Soos the glass]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Here you are! Soos:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Thanks. [drinks some punch] Dipper:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> So, the punch ok? Soos:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Not bad, not bad. Dipper:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Hmmm, nice weather we're having. Soos:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> It's been very mild, yes. Dipper:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Yep, it's mild season. [nervously laughs]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Ahem. So, you read any... [doorbell rings]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Oh, more party guests! {Stan  has walked in with a purple coat on]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Welcome Stan! Stan:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Ahoy, Dipper! Dipper:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Please let Waddles take your coat, then allow me to offer you some hors d'oeuvres and a glass of punch. Stan:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Don't mind if I do! ''[drops his coat on Waddles. Waddles sticks his eyes out of the sleeves]'' Waddles:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Oink. Dipper:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> [looks over his party list]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Two down, one hundred and seventy-five to go. Oh, I almost forgot... [hands Soos and Stan name tags]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> These name tags eliminate the need for awkward introductions. [doorbell rings]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Oh, more guests! [Soos tries to read his name tag upside down] Soos:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Soos si eman ym o77eh. I don't get it. <span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;">Stan: No, you dumb bunny, it says, 'Hello, my name is Soos'/ Soos:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> [shakes Stan hand]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Nice to meet you Soos. Stan:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> [laughs]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Good one, Soos! [both laugh] Soos:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Yeah. Dipper:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> What's going on here? The laughter isn't scheduled until 9:03! You want to throw a party, do it at your house, Soos. [doorbell rings] Soos:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Was he talking to me or you? [Dipper opens door to Bud Gleeful] Dipper:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Bud, you made it! Bud:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> My cable's out. [Dipper hides some wire cutters behind his back] Dipper:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Oh, uhh, sorry to hear about that. Stan:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> So, uhh, how's it going Bud? Bud:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Not bad. Dipper:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> I have you making mild conversation with Stan from 10:41 to 10:47. But if you've got a case of the jabberjaws, I can hook you up with Lee. Here are some topic cards to break the ice. ''[hands them some cards. The doorbell rings]''<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Oh, someone's at the door! Lee:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Mine says, 'What came first?: the oyster or the pearl?' You take the side of the pearl! [Bud throws away his card and walks away] Bud:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> This is lame. Lady Susan:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> My card says, 'Discuss the philosophical nature of irony.' What does yours say? Soos:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> 'Nod politely'. [shown Stan and Gideon with cards] Stan:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> What does yours say, Gideon? Gideon:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Oh, uhh, it says, [really shows 'Where are You From?']<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> 'Discuss the secret of the Mystery Shack.' [clears throat]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> How interesting. Stan:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Nice try, Gideon. ''[everyone is chattering amongst themselves. The doorbell rings]'' Dipper:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Well, it's about time. Ok, everyone, the last guest is about to arrive...22 minutes late! [opens up the door to Blendin Blandin] Blendin Blandin:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Hey, hey! ''[Dipper folds his arms in a sort of anger. Blendin Blandin laughs nervously as Dipper walks into the party]'' Dipper:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Attention everyone. Attention please! Now that we're all here, I officially declare the party switch to be in the 'on' position! ''[silence. everyone claps silently]''<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> As soon as I get back from the coat room, we'll have a rundown of tonight's schedule. Try not to have too much fun without me! [laughs as he walks into a room with a sign that reads 'Coat Check']<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Seriously. ''[closes door. scene cuts to his wardrobe]''<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Hey Waddles, got another coat for you. [throws the coat on Waddles]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> The party's going great, by the way. They're gonna be talking about this one for a long, long time. Well, back to work. [laughs and walks back out with his clipboard]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Ok, everyone. Let's...huh? What's going on here? ''[guests are talking and dancing to the music. Dipper starts to hyperventilate]''<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> This is all wrong! What's happening to my party? [scene cuts to Wendy and Robbie dancing]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> No, no, no, no, no! Didn't you read the schedule? 10:00pm: Dance your pants off! 10:00pm! ''[scene cuts to Blubs eating cake. Dipper takes a vacuum and sucks out all the food from his mouth]''<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Let's try to stick to the schedule, shall we? Cake will be eaten at 8:52, everyone! 8:52! ''[switches into 'blower'. Slice of cake is blown perfectly back into the rest of the cake. A plate with bacon and eggs is blown onto the table]''<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Hey, what's this? Blubs:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> That's my breakfast. Dipper:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Could I have everyone's attention please? [Soos is dancing by the record player]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Soos! [stops the music]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> If everyone could take a seat on the couch please, while I sort this out. Thank you, thanks. [the guests walk over to the couch]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Hey everybody, thanks for your patience. I know we've gotten off to a rocky start here, so I'm going to get us back on track. It is now 8:37, and we all know what that means! [gets out a newspaper]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Time to read aloud from the newspaper comics! Ok, I think I'll start out with 'The Wisenheimers'. Ok, panel one: we see Roxy Wisenheimer with some sort of rake. Wait, I can't read from this! [guests cheer]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> This is yesterday's paper. [they stop cheering as Dipper walks outside]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> I'll just go grab today's paper. ''[everyone starts to party when he leaves. talking to himself]''<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Dipper, you sure know how to throw a party. What would they do without you? [tries to open the door]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Locked out? ''[knocks on the door. Scene cuts to Soos and Wendy are dancing]'' Wendy:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> This song's got a great beat. Soos:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Yeah. Knock, knock. Dipper:<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Gee, I wonder why they don't hear me? ''[looks through the window and his eyes bug out as he wails. He sees the party, with all the guests dancing and having fun and the music blasting]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Oh no! [cut to the topic cards on the floor and two people just talking]''<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> They're not using the topic cards! They're ad-libbing! [cut to Soos eating all the deviled eggs in the piñata in one gulp and everyone else cheering him on]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Now they're mad at Soos! He's hogging the deviled eggs! [scene cuts to two guests laughing]<span style="color:rgb(58,58,58);line-height:20px;text-align:justify;"> Look at those poor souls, they're so bored, they've gone mad! Oh, no. The party's falling into chaos without my hosting talents to guide it! [scene cuts to Soos and Mabel talking] (I'll finish it tomorrow)