User blog:StarTrekkie47/LET'S TRY TO MAKE YOUR LIFE HAPPIER

Dear Math, Please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

A stupid person laughs a total of 3 times at a joke. Once when everyone else is laughing, A second tine when they actually get the joke, And a third time when they realize they were laughing at the joke when they didn't get it at first.

Love your enemies. Its makes them even more mad.

I'm NOT clumsy! It's just that the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies and the walls get in my way.

I didn't trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.

Its really simple to be wise. Just think of something REALLY stupid, then don't say it.

STOP WORRYING ABOUT THE WORLD ENDING TODAY Its already tomorrow in Australia.

A computer once beat me at chess. It was no match for me when it came to kick-boxing.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

Me: For the first time in my life, things seem like they're starting to get better! Life: LOL HOLD ON A SECOND

So I went to my doctor and told him I broke my leg in two places. He said I should stop going to those two places.

Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies.

One day, I want my three enemies to wake up and each find a car in front of their house. A Police Car, An Ambulance, And a Firetruck.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

I came across a book in my library today. "How To Read". Lets rethink those principles.

Old people will always poke me at weddings and say "You're next." THEREFORE, I started doing the same at funerals.

The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem that isn't the problem. Do you understand?

TOP TEN REASONS TO PROCRASTINATE 1.

DON'T JUDGE ME BECAUSE IM QUIET No one EVER plans a murderer out loud...

"Hello, Thank You for waiting. May I help you?" "NO, I JUST WAITED 30 MINUTES ON THE LINE JUST TO SAY HI"

"I'm a ninjas" "No you're not" "Did you just see that?" "See what?" "EXACTLY"

I JUST *LOVE* RUMORS! I LEARN SO MUCH ABOUT MYSELF THAT I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW

Im actually not that funny. Im just so mean that people think Im joking.

Sharks aren't THAT bad. I mean, if a stranger walked into my house wearing THOSE kinds of bathing suits, I'd probably attack then too.