User blog:OnlyOnTuesdays88/"Not what it seems"

I loved Mr B's post and I wished it was longer so I had to make one. I did it with an entire episode. I picked an especially serious one because I thought that might make it funnier. It's not all that bad but some parts are hilariously terrible. My personal favorites:
 * Feast your eyes! = Enjoy your eyes!
 * Set something on fire for your Grunkle Stan = Make something. Fire your Grunkle Stan.
 * (Hits him with a water balloon) = (beats him with a water balloon)
 * (Attacking Dipper in a hug) = (Offensive Dipper in a hug)!
 * Is this some kind of... possession situation = Is this some kind of ... ownership situation?
 * (Sticks arm out to hand Soos his kid's meal) = (stick arm out to hand Soos his infant cereal)
 * Get in there, raccoon wife! = Get there, raccoon woman!
 * "Is this the part where one of us paints?" "Ohoho I am so on it (Faints)" = "Is this the part where one of us faints?" "Ohoho, I am so on age. (Impotent)

Anyway here's the transcript.

''Episode begins with establishing shot of Gravity Falls, late at night. A blue pulsating light illuminates. Then a shot of the vending machine in the cottage, which also regularly illuminated by the vibrant blue light from behind was. Cut to Stan Pines in the underground laboratory under the shack, the work on the Portal universe. Stan pulls a lever and green liquid pumps in large glass tanks.''

Stan Come on, come on. Should be just the job enough of finish. (Removes his fez and wipes gloved hand on his forehead, which sizzles and briefly lights up green) Puh. Can not be too careful with this stuff.

''Red lights flash and a buzzer sounds. Stan smiles and turns to look at the screen. Screen reads "EVENT initialize" and an 18 hour countdown begins.''

Stan (reading from Journal 1 :) "warning", blah blah blah "Extreme use can cause slight gravity anomalies." Can it, Poindexter! (Slams sheet closed) I've come so far. I do not give to you! (Presses a button, and the portal begins to turn) Yeah, that's it.

''Stans fez floats away from his head. Outside the cottage, stones float out of the ground, along with the goat Gompers. A boat lift from the lake. In the junkyard, broken cars and garbage off the ground, and inside the McGucket makeshift hut, a blue light flashes, illuminating the sleeping and floating McGucket and the laptop works now read, "ACTIVE" under a picture of the portal. Back at the cottage, Dipper and Mabel and Waddles, float their beds, but sleep undisturbed. There is a clear "thunk" as anything touches back on the ground in the city.''

Stan will be a bumpy ride, but it will all be worth it. (Synchronizes what looks like a large wristwatch with the steadily ticking countdown, still displayed on the monitor) Only eighteen hours. Finally, everything changes. Today.

A draft blows to the magazine.

Cut to shortened title song.

Cut to Mabel running through the corridors, followed by a tired Dipper.

Mabel (running hall) Ah! It's here, it's here, it's here!

Dipper (sighs)

Mabel (To Dipper :) Okay, I was just randomly open doors - because I'm a Creep - when I something amazing!

Dipper (while rubbing his eyes) Is it worth waking up at 7:00 clock for, that's amazing.

Mabel Enjoy your eyes! (Reveal opening door to cabinet with different types of fireworks in a field filled with the label "Do not touch!")

Dipper Whoa!

Mabel (Puts hand on his shoulder Dipper) Bro. Bro. We both think it.

Dipper and Mabel Crazy roof Fireworks Party!

Stan (marks on them) Not so fast, kids! There is no way on earth you clearing these dangerous, illegal fireworks ... (smiles and leans over his arms wrapped around her shoulders) ... without me.

''Cut to the roof. Dipper is packed icy-pop from the cooler. Mabel's excited, he who is sitting with a lit sparkler and Roman candle on the chair next to Stan.''

Stan Here you go, honey. (Lit Mabel rocket with a sparkler) Make something. Fire your Grunkle Stan

Mabel (Aiming the rocket; screaming :) I am the God of Destruction! (Skyrocket shoots off)

Sheriff Blubs and deputy Durland approaching start the mystery Shack as the fireworks.

Blubs Wait a minute. Do you have a permit for?

Dipper Uh ...

Stan Um, you cripple a permit for total? (He and the twins laugh)

Mabel Heyoooo!

Blubs (laughs) Well, I can not disagree. (Walking away and waving) continue.

Stan (laughs) But seriously, although we probably clean this mess.

''Pans up to a full view of the secret Shack; there are many small fires in the area and on it. The rope keeps the flag snaps.''

Mabel with water balloons?

Stan I do not do not see why.

Cut to Stan sit outside on the couch drinking a Coke Pitt and Dipper running away from Mabel, who to throw water balloons at him.

Dipper (laughs as he runs. Throws water balloon that is about a foot before falling to the ground) Seriously?

Mabel (beats him with a water balloon, pushed him back. Runs screaming in a tribal-like)

Stan Ah. This is what Saturdays are. Doing always dumb things.

Dipper and Mabel (as they jump on the pile of water balloons) DUMB THINGS FOREVER! (Land on the depth charges, all pop in a major outbreak of water)

Stan (as a splash of water comes on it :) Whoa, there! (Laughs)

Mabel (holding up an icy-pop) To Stan Grunkle! Not only a great-uncle ...

Dipper's Greatest Uncle! (He and Mabel throw water balloons at Stan)

Stan (laughs) Okay, okay. I'm telling you, it is unnatural for siblings to get along as well as you do.

Mabel (Waves hand dismissively) Ha ha! Do not worry. We have each other to drive still plenty of summer left crazy (Offensive Dipper in a hug)!

Dipper (Pushes Mabel away with a water balloon, falling on her face)

Stan (laughs nervously and frowns) Yeah, leave many summers. (Rubbing the back of his head nervously as Dipper and Mabel to approach him) kids, there's something I uh, something I tell you. It is to (scratches chin) Well, it's complicated. I ... I'm gonna update my soda. (Walks away. Cut him alone behind the bushes on foot) Enjoy it while ya can, Stan. You will find sooner or later. Today is the day.

A glowing red dot appears on Stans fez.

Stan What's that, a ladybug? (Clap it)

More red dots aimed Stan.

Stan What the--? Oh no!

''A masked Agent Stan pins down. Powers and Agent Agent trigger approach.''

'Trigger (in walkie-talkie :) destination safely! Take the house!

''Several helicopter flying above the Shack. Cut to car and Mabel, confused. They are surrounded by a handful of funds.''

Mabel What the--?

Dipper (wheezing)

Agent (in walkie-talkie :) children are safe. Roof-Team! Go!

''Several agents rappel from a helicopter. To the secret Shack attic where agents crash to cut in and Cock their weapons.''

Agent 2 Clear!

''A few agents rush through the gift shop, swinging a bat. Another crashes through a window with a rope.''

Agent 3 Clear!

''Yet another agent breaks through Dipper and Mabel window. Waddles can be seen that in confusion. He squeals when the agent grabs him.''

Agent 4 Pig safe! We have secured a pig!

''The agents wrap yellow police caution tape around the cabin. Several police cars parked outside. An agent performs a fight Stan in handcuffs.''

Stan (Being led to the government vehicle) Ugh! Hey, hands off, you henchmen!

'Agent (Stan plant face on the trunk of the police car)

Stan Aah! I do not understand! What have I done that warrants this much to arrest?

Dipper, Mabel and Agents Powers and trigger walk through.

Dipper The government guys? I thought you were eaten by zombies!

Trigger We survived. Hardly.

Powers I used triggers as human shields. He cried like a baby. (Walks over)

Triggering What? Hey! Not in front of the special-ops guys!

Powers (holding digital tablet) This is security footage from a government disposal facility. (PAN in on the screen, where images of a person in a radiation suit shown stolen barrels, as Powers continues to talk) If o'four 100 hours last night someone robbed 300 gallons of hazardous waste.

Stan What? They think that is me?

Powers Do not play dumb with us Pines.

Stan, but I really am stupid! (When he led away by an agent) Last night I was stocking the gift shop. I swear!

Mabel Wait! Grunkle Stan! You've got the wrong guy! Our grunkle Stan might steal the occasional Mandarin, but he is not an evil supervillain!

Powers (stooped to get on par with the twins) Listen, boy. We just your family during the summer and we have seen some disturbing things. But nothing as dangerous as that which hides your uncle. Somewhere hidden in this hut is a doomsday machine! (Triggering and handed him the tablet :) deduction, take the children. I am going to talk to the old man. (The twins :) Sorry to break it to you children, (puts on sunglasses), but you do not know your uncle ever. (Go away)

''Trigger snaps his fingers and pointing to the children. Two agents approaching the twins.''

Means 5 (bends down and takes Mabel icy-pop, holding a bag) Icy-pop. Clear.

Mabel (up to their icy-pop) Hey!

''The other agent performs the twins away. Once the first agent who Mabel icy-pop looks to see to his left side, if the coast is clear and then licks the icy-pop are gone. Mabel and Dipper led into a police car, and the door shut behind them. Looking out the window she can see Stan in a government vehicle.''

Stan (looks at her, knocking on the window with his cuffed hands) kids, you gotta believe me! For once, I'm actually innocent! (When the car drives off) Kids!

Wendy (feet. Toward the mystery Shack, in a singsong :) On the way into work Doo-doo-doo-doo-doooo.

Agent 6 mass-Team! Move, move, move!

Means 7 break down the door!

Two agents break door to the secret Shack and a helicopter flying over the Shack.

Wendy (turns around and begins to walk away) Or maybe not.

Cut the Severe cases police station, Stan always made his mug shots, taken his fingerprints and then Stan sitting in front of a bulletin board with various images to strings that all meet is attached to a picture of him.

Powers Stanford Pines, you are of theft of State waste, conspiracy, and possession of illegal weapons to have. How do you respond to these charges plead?

Stan Uh, guilti cent! I mean, inno-guilty! Uh, I can get my phone call?

Up shot of a fast food restaurant called "Yumberjacks" where Soos is cut at the By Schiffahrts.

Soos Okay, give me what you got, that comes with a free toy.

Stan (through walkie-talkie :) Soos!

Mr. Soos Pines? (Touches drive-thru Lumberjack speakers) Is this some kind of ... ownership situation?

Stan (through walkie-talkie :) Take simple!

Soos (Takes walkie-talkie) Mr. Pines, what happened? I heard you arrested or anything like that have? I had to go a little panic food.

Stan (through walkie-talkie :) Listen, I need something from you. They know that machine in the gift shop? You have to protect it with your life. No matter what happens, no matter who is talking to you, do not let them, that touch the machine. (Walkie-talkie makes howling like Stan cuts)

Soos time for a repair guy (setting has) to be a repair man.

Drive-Thru staff (stick arm out to hand Soos his infant cereal) Sir, your Junior Yum-Yum Baby Time Kiddo meal? Soos is only one in my mouth. (Employee open field away a roast, and place it in Soos' mouth. Soos makes chewing noises as he chews) Let's do this. (Tires screech, Soos driving wildly through a hedge)

''Cut to get into the car with trigger Dipper & Mabel. Powers talks about a video connection at the front of the vehicle.''

Powers We have Mr. Pines was in custody. Our men are searching the cabin for the device. They take care of these children.

Mabel (gasps) What are you doing going to do with us?

Trigger restaurants that you have to childcare.

Mabel Boo!

Trigger In the meantime (Presses button) enjoy some mindless reality television, designed to calm you and make you stop to ask questions.

''Cut on the TV screen. A surgeon in scrubs standing over a patient. On a stretcher''

Surgeon I am looking forward to make more than the average ...

Justin KER-PRANK! (Jumps from a potted plant, screams surgeon, read screen "KER-PRANK'D in large print)

TV Announcer watch "KER-PRANK'D" with Justin Kerprank!

Cut back to the twins.

Mabel Dipper, that's crazy. There is no way Stan was stolen hazardous waste! We need to clear his name!

Dipper (thinks then discovered the camera on the front of the car) Hmm ... wait a minute, the safety belts! Stan say that last night he increased the gift shop? If we get the secret surveillance tapes Shack, we were able to prove that he is innocent!

Mabel We must think only one way out of here. Think, Mabel ... (view from the car window) thinking.

Your vehicle is driven next to a logging truck Manly Dan.

Mabel (Notices a Sev'ral Timez bumper sticker on the back and knock on the window to Dan to become attentive, writing on the foggy car window :) sevral Timez IS OVER

Manly Dan (gasp) NO! (Veers the logging trucks in the government vehicle that goes into a spin and fall of the road in the forest)

Trigger Mayday! Mayday! Agent down! (All screaming, and the car crashed into the trees. Shutter between the vehicle and a branch established and struggling to get free) Darn branch!

Mabel Ha ha, yes! (Opens the door, Dipper & Mabel leave the car)

Trigger backup! Request backup! Ah!

Dipper (draws the listener from trigger ear and crushed them on the floor)

Mabel Come Dipper. We are going to delete the name of our uncle.

Trigger Oh, you poor child. Do you really innocent of your uncle? I've seen them all. (How Mabel goes away, but to hear Dipper breaks) False name, a double life, one minute that you play with water balloons, the next they build doomsday devices. Your uncle deceived the whole world. You'll also him you scam?

Dipper You ... you do not know what you're talking about. (Go away)

Triggering You'll regret !! (Airbag inflates, trigger cries, horn tones of the car)

''Cut to car and Mabel hiding on the side of the road. Two government vehicles passed, and how they do it, Dipper and Mabel disappear from the roadside. The camera angle changes to show she hides in the trunk of the car rear and an arrow-shaped sign for they are on the road that reads "Secret SHACK". For a view of the countdown, the reading now shortened around five hours. Cut to Stan in the interrogation room, his watch checked device.''

Stan Only five hours until it happens. I have to be there! Come on, Stan, you have to think that way outta this. (Pounding head on table) Think! Think!

''Suddenly the device, reading flashes "Anomaly in progress." The coffee on the table is floating out of the cup, along with the shell itself and various items, then crashes back down.''

Stan, you are getting stronger. Of course, that's it!

To the center of town where a lot of cars, objects and people are off the ground and then fall suddenly cut off.

Tyler (To Lazy Susan :) Is it just me, or have the whole world only hiccup?

Lazy Susan I'm sure it's just a baby-size earthquakes.

Tyler Aw, baby-size!

''Looking at the laptop, which cut the countdown showing initiated Stan. McGucket is a pocket in his hut, packaging.'' McGucket It has happened! The End Times! If the device is activated ... I gotta get outta town! (Pushing a raccoon in a bag) Get there, raccoon woman! Get! (Runs away, while a helicopter flies past overhead)

''Overhead view of the Mystery Shack cut, surrounded by agents. Dipper & Mabel are hiding in a bush near the lodge.''

Mabel Okay, here's the plan. I'll take the two protection guys, you karate the other guy in the neck and then we'll flip back through the front door!

Dipper Mabel, you're not to forget the simpler solution?

Mabel Oh, right.

In view of the rock that looks like a rock face cut two agents.

Agent It is a stone, or is it a face?

Agent 2 I think ... it's a metaphor.

''When they think about Mabel grappling hook shoots overhead through (now broken) the cabin window. Dipper & Mabel slide along the rope into the hut. They fall down the stairs, avoiding detection by the agents in the hut, and the head office in Stans, closing the door behind them. Then they Fist Bump.''

Dipper Alright. When I was Stan, where I hide this surveillance video? (Looks on the bookshelf and in a filing cabinet)

Mabel (Seeing a screw on the Jackalope head mounted on the wall) Wait! The antelabbit!

Dipper Do not you think "jackalope?"

Mabel Pfft, that can not be right. (Corrects curved antlers of jackalope is, and the wall rotates open to two old looking TV monitors and a tape recorder to show)

Dipper and Mabel Yes!

Mabel (points to a tape halfway into the player) It is in this week, that's it! (It slides into)

On tape from Wendy, Soos and Mabel cut into the secret Shack gift shop where Soos makes the worm.

Mabel & Wendy (on tape :) Go! Go! Go! Go!

Mabel (To Dipper :) Someone shouted "Wormy dance." We had to! Fast forward.

Tape fast forward by several hours.

Dipper (tape fast forward by several hours) Ha! There it is! Stan restocking, as he said! And it shows the date last night was! It is the proof! He is innocent!

On the tape, Stan sneaks out of the store at about seven .PM

Dipper (Fast forward through to 08:00, to see that Stan has not returned) ... Uh oh.

Mabel Uh, maybe he's just go to the bathroom outdoors. The way nature intended!

''Cut back on surveillance video. At 05:00, a figure in a protective suit of radioactive waste run barrels in souvenir shops.''

Dipper Oh no, Stan, you did not ...

Mabel Do not panic. It could be someone in this color!

Stan (On the tape, a barrel falls on the foot) Gah! Hot Belgian waffles! Wait, I'm alone. I can swear for real! (Takes a deep breath) son of A--

Dipper (switches the band as Mabel covering his ears) He's fine.

Mabel Okay, okay, maybe Grunkle Stan stole some toxic waste. That does not mean, he leads a double life Ruthless!

Dipper (moves one space below the TV screen) Mabel, I'm not so sure ... (He takes a lamp from the table and puts on itself, revealing a box full of passports and IDs)

Mabel (you and Dipper looking through the box) What? What is all this? (Reading from one of the IDs :) "Stetson Pinefield?"

Dipper (reading from IDs :) "Hal Forrester?" "Andrew" 8-Ball "Alcatraz?" This is fake IDs, Mabel! Would not you need this, unless you wanted to hide your real identity!

Mabel But why Stan do that? (Picks a newspaper clipping out of the box, whose headline reads "STAN PINES dead." They are the cut to Dipper)

Dipper What?! "Stan Pines dead?"

Mabel (Read Article Clipping :) "Foul play in Pines' death suspected." Fiery car accident cut brakes ... by!

Dipper (seeks another snippet that shows a picture of Stan) "Untitled grifter total?" Why would they call him unnamed? Unless Stan ...

Mabel Is not that ...

Cars and Mabel Stan?! (Look at the portrait of Stan on the wall behind them)

Cut to countdown, just read under 16 minutes.

Dipper (pacing) Stan Pines is dead? And who we are with life? It makes no sense!

Mabel There must be an explanation. Maybe we get Ker-Prank'd! Justin Kerprank is gonna jump from behind one of these plants (turns to look potted plant) any minute now! (After a brief pause she slips forward and looking at the potted plant) ... Every minute, Justin.

Dipper I can not believe it. This whole summer I was looking for answers and the biggest mystery was right under our noses.

Mabel (excavations by cutouts) Ugh, there must be some kind of explanation to give somewhere. What the ... "secret code to hide?"

Dipper Let me see that. (Takes sheet 3 and a portable black light) "A1, B, C3" ... I've never seen a code like this.

Mabel Wait! I have! Dipper, it is the machine!

Cut to Stan review of the wristwatch device that reads about 13 minutes now.

Powers (entering the interrogation room with two other agents) Okay, Pines. Playtime is over. Chopper is ready to dust off to Washington. I will enjoy to put away.

Stan What? In order, we can not stick around for maybe a minute? Uh, 1 minute 30 seconds?

Powers We're not falling for your games, Pines. You have your whole life running. Your time is finite.

Stan (looks at the clock on the wall) bathroom break? Just give me ... 15 seconds!

Powers (When he unlocked Stans handcuffs) Sorry, but you have to catch a flight.

Stan (clock starts beeping) Oh, yeah. You too.

Powers Huh?

''All floats above the ground. Stan beats the table in the agent. Before the police station where all his grip on the world to lose to cut. Cut back to Stan in the station.''

Powers Whoa-whoa whoa-, hey! Aah!

Stan (Hits Powers with the back of his chair, turns, pushes away from the wall, begins the cuff keys in his hands and un-cuffs itself)

Powers Hey! Dang it get back here! Men to him!

Stan (kicks one of the agents in the chest, begins his wallet and hop from agent to agent out of the room)

Powers No! You will not get away!

''Stan slams the door in Powers's face, locking it behind him. His clock beeps and gravity is working again. Behind Stan, Durland falls from another room, followed by a blindfolded Blubs, swinging a bat in a piñata.''

Blubs I'll, I'll get you!

The agents in the interrogation room slide to the floor with a squeak.

Powers Ow!

Outside everything goes back to the ground, and Stan is running out of the station on a taxi.

Stan (Panting to driver :) Do you know where the secret Shack's Taxi?

Taxi Driver Uh, yeah?

Stan Okay. Here is one hundred dollars. Drive as far away from the cottage as possible, and do not stop when the cops start chasing you!

The driver shrugs away his shoulders and speeds while Stan hiding behind a car wreck, as the funds come from the train station.

Powers He is always away! (Looks taxi) Obviously follow this cabin!

''To Shack outside cut. Trigger travels to order the other agents.''

Trigger Stanford fled! He is on the loose! We have to sweep the city! (How funds dispersed from the Shack) Move! Move! Move!

Soos (sneaks to the machine to protect) Okay Soos, remember the plan. Protect the device, earn trust Stans, adopted by law by Stan, change name to Stan Junior.

Soos Dipper?

Soos Ah! Oh, children! Where have you been?

Dipper What are you doing here?

Soos Stan gave me a mission to protect this machine! Ha! And I thought I loved snacks.

Dipper Soos to hear. Something big is going on here. When Stan hiding something dangerous secret, we have to find out what it is! I need you to step aside.

Mabel Yes, just let us through so we can prove it's all just a big misunderstanding.

Soos Guys, I know this seems crazy, but I promised I would protect Stan this with my life.

Mabel (Dipper nods) I'm sorry, Soos. (Blows a handful of glitter directly in Soos' face, getting it in the eyes)

Soos Aah! Attack glitter! It's nice, but it hurts!

Dipper and Mabel (Jump to Soos) Come ... come ... Soos come on ... please!

Soos (detain them when they try past) Oh, come on, I do not want to fight, you guys! This hurts me more than it hurts you! Ah (first entry into the face of Mabel)! Seriously, it hurts me a lot more that it hurts you!

''Dipper reaches for the numeric keypad and enters the code. All scream as the machine vibrates forward and pushed her to the ground. Any cough, then snap on the secret passage behind the machine.''

Soos (Leading down the stairs) It's like something out of a video game ...

Mabel or a dream ...

Dipper ... Or a nightmare.

Cut to shot of Stan feet when he races back to the cottage to cut Soos, Dipper & Mabel down in the elevator, then cut back to Stan, checking the clock.

Stan, I have to be there when it happens! (Running through the forest. Rips framework of its action on a branch) Aah!

''To Soos, Dipper & Mabel input Stan laboratory cut. All wheezing.''

Mabel Guys, we dream? Someone wake me up.

Dipper This can not be true ...

Soos I do not understand. Why should Mr. Pines that have it all?

Dipper It's just like this bunker in the woods ...

Soos but what is that among the secret Shack now?

Mabel Okay, okay, so he has a big giant laboratory. That does not mean anything bad! Everyone has secrets! (Does the picture of her and Dipper, it picks up) It's still Stan, and he loves us. And we love it. Right?

Dipper It can not be ... it's impossible. (Cut to Journal Articles 1 and 2 on a table. Dipper keeps sheet 3) The other two journals? All the time ... all the time, Stan had? I can not believe it! Was all he said really to us?! (Kicks desk) Why would he have these journals?

Soos Perhaps he is the author.

Dipper Or maybe he stole it from the author! Perhaps the reason why he has all the fake IDs, because he is a master criminal, and this machine is its master plan! (Opens every magazine on the side with the portal it they shall, in accordance and on his black light gasp.)

Mabel Whoa.

Dipper (reading from the diaries :) "I was wrong all the time. The machine was meant to create knowledge, but it is too powerful. I was cheated, and now it's too late. The unit, when fully operational could tear our universe apart! It must not fall into the wrong hands. When the clock reaches zero always, our universe is doomed! (All look at the countdown clock, just read a minute 30 seconds)

Soós It's the final countdown! Just like they always sung!

Dipper (leafing through magazine to one side with the word "override") The agents were right! We have to shut it down! (All enter the portal room, wheezing, starts to shake the ground) are! Quick! Make this together! (All turn three buttons, a device near the middle of the room jumps to reveal a big red button) That's it! The main switch! All this will stop ... now!

Stan NOT touch this button !! (In the doorway, panting) Dipper, just back away. (Dipper hand remains suspended inches above the button) Please do not press that the shutdown button, you have to trust me.

Car and I trust you, why? After stealing radioactive waste? After you lied to us all summer? I do not even know who you are!

Stan Look, I know this all seems nuts, but I need to keep this machine! If you want to just let me explain-- (beeps Wrist device, ground starts shaking again) Oh, oh, oh, no! Prepare yourselves!

''You are lifted from the ground and float toward the machine. Throughout the city, things lifted above the ground. Gompers "Bah." Powers screams when his car blows up. Lazy Susan is lifted off his feet in a store. Bud Gleeful accesses one of his cars, as he and his clients to float in the air. The sky darkens and the sun is shining red on Gravity Falls.''

Computer T minus 35 seconds.

Stan (spinning in the air) Whoa-ah!

Dipper Ah! (Hits a wood tick, snapped on)

Mabel Dipper! (Ankle to a wire on the state of button hooked)

Dipper Mabel! Hurry up, shutdown!

Mabel (crawling along the wire towards the button)

Stan No! Mabel, Mabel, wait! Stop! Aah! (Soos beats him away from Mabel) Soos, What are you doing?! (Hits Soos upside down) I gave you an order!

Soos Sorry, Mr. Pines - if that is your real name - but I have a new mission now! The protection of these children!

Stan Soos, you idiot, let me go!

Dipper (Pushes of the stringers, meets Stan and Soos) Go! Mabel, press the red button! Shutdown!

Stan No, you can not! (Pushes Dipper away) You have to believe me!

Mabel Grunkle Stan, (crying) I do not even know if you are my grunkle! I want to believe that you but--,

Stan Then listen to me. Remember, though, this morning, when I said I wanted to tell you something?

Computer T-minus 20 seconds.

''All scream like the portal flashes and pushes Dipper, Stan, Soos and against the opposite wall. Mabel is preparing to push the button.''

Stan I wanted to say that you're going to hear some bad things about me, and some of them are true, but believe me. Everything I've worked, everything interests me, it's all for this family!

Dipper Mabel, what if he's lying? This thing could destroy the universe! Listen to your head!

Stan Look into my eyes, Mabel! Do you really think I am a bad guy?

Dipper He's lying! Turn it now!

Stan Mabel, please!

Computer Ten. Nine.

Mabel (looking away and lowering his hand to the button, then looked at Stan) Grunkle Stan ...

Six computer. Five.

Mabel (elevators, hand) I trust you. (Lets go of the object, hovering)

Dipper MABEL, you're crazy! We are all authorized

Computer One.

Dipper, Stan, Soos and Mabel disappear in an explosion of light, as each of them shouts.

Dipper NO!

Stan AAA!

Soos AH!

Mabel AH!

''A flash of blinding light engulfs all Gravity Falls. Then everything comes down to earth. The portal, now a mess of tangled cables and metal, highlighted in light blue. A number of results from the portal. The blue light faded behind him.''

Dipper What ...? Who's that?

Stan The author of magazines ...

Author (Pulls glasses, revealing his face, he looks almost identical to Stan.)

Stan ... My brother.

Mabel Is this the part where one of us faints?''

Soos Ohoho, I am so on age. (Impotent)

''Cut to credits. Two boys, about Dipper and Mabel age, sitting on a swing on a beach in front of a sunset. Vigenère ciphered message "the original MYSTERY TWINS". Interface to end card: a cryptogram that the portal.''

End