Board Thread:General Discussion/@comment-27708312-20170202163909/@comment-31166511-20170228162653

Guyscopelevel wrote: Recopying the link here once more. I keep having to scroll back for miles to find it otherwise.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9407123/chapters/21295481

Is there an automatic function that keep spam off the Forum by ignoring exact duplicate posts with no additional commentary. Or is the post function just crashing repeatedly on me again?

"It's not a bug, it's a feature!"

Dipper is reading a book on computer programs and AIs as part of his Cure Mabel project.

It's been at least 4 minutes since someone paid any attention to Mabel, so she suddendly pops up behind Dipper.

"WHAT! kinda nerd junk are you reading now?

Dipper assumes the grim, seriously dignified expression of a dedicated paranormal investigator who suddenly and purposely choose to dive off his chair and assume a prone posistion on the floor in order to keep his cat-like reflexs in peak training.

The girly scream was a clever defensive use of ventriloquism to convince an attacker that a smaller, weaker, more scared target existed elsewhere in the room. Thus confusing a potential predator with multiple targets.

Dipper held his computer book above his head as he lay flat on the floor, determined to show his commitment to the choice he'd made to move there.

Mable lay on the floor, too. The top of her head pressing comfortingly against Dipper's big nerd brain. She decided to test her ability to read upside down. The unusual technique reduced the book's ability to be boring by half. Maybe 60%.

Mabel was delighted to discover that this was one of those textbooks that tried to suck up by including the occasional single panel gag cartoon. Mabel concentrated translating the the upside-down punchline into rightside-uppy English in the limited time before Dipper turned the page. It was a skill she had much practice with.

An idea for a joke suddenly poped like an exploding atomic muffin in Mabel's brain.

Mable sat up and did a quick shapeshift.

"Hey Dipper! Guess what I am!"

Dipper tilted his head backwards on the floor and strained his eyeballs back in his head to focus on his upside down sibling.

Mable had just transformed from little girl, to pile of bugs, to some kind of large, white, flat, featureless square. The square looked vaguely clothlike and sparkly (go fig. With his sister, sparkly was less a clue to the function of her new shape and more like a lifestyle choice). The cloth seemed suspended on a rigid framework--

Just then an image formed in the center of the square and took up the majority of its surface. The high light level of the room made the image look very faded, but Dipper had no difficulty recognizing the origin of the scene depicted--it was from the giant scifi blockbuster that He'd dragged Mabel complaining to go see.

Mable had ended up an enthusiatic convert, mostly because of the well-written, strong and independant female protagonist. Dipper thought that having someone to share his excitement over the film made all the plastic laser sword bruises worth it.

Under Mabel's harsh tutelage, Dipper had eventuall grown quite proficient in laser sword fighting. Anyone who ever dared attack him with a REAL plastic laser sword was in for a world o' hurt!

Dipper noticed that the version of the feature film he was seeing now, differed greatly from the feature as he recalled it. The fight in the snow on the self-destructing mechanical planetoid seemed to be going a lot better for the female lead than it should have, and seemed to include a lot more snowballs than it should.

Then again, using mind powers to form and rapid fire balls of snow did make a pretty cool visual. It cleared the ground cover even faster than a snow blower.

Then Dipper noticed that the movie screen had grown a human foot. And that it was tapping impatiently.

"Oh. Sorry. You're a feature film?"

Dipper hoped silently that she wasn't going to make him guess the actor's names. He never could keep celebrity names straight--beyond whatever celebrity happened to be Mabel's obsession of the week, that is.

The laser sword fighters on screen abandonded their conflict to turn to the camera, "Wrong!", they chimed in unison.

The girl with the laser sword suddenly decapitated the black-clad villian. "Jinx!"

The surviving actor was looking far less celebrity and far more Mabel-like.

"I'm not a feature! I'm a bug!" She crowed with laughter at her own joke.

Dipper looked down at his computer book and realized that he only had himself to blame.

From the screen, the decapitated villian head blew a raspberry and celebrity-Mabel drop kicked it back into the trees.

A giant "THE END" appered on the sceen, followed by a big question mark and a 'wah-wah' sound effect.