User blog:ElectricMayhem/My Second Fanon Episode

Well, decided now would be a good time to continue my fanon episode, "Reality-Warper". This one is called (obviously) "Reality-Warper, Part 2".

Dipper is walking through the alternate Gravity Falls, where everything has the reality warper's face on it.

Dipper: Hmmm... nothing too weird... besides a thousand monster faces on everything....

Dipper sees Wendy.

Dipper: Wendy! Over here!

Dipper runs up to Wendy, who turns around to reveal she has the reality warper's face.

Dipper: Ew!

The alternate wendy morphs into the reality warper.

Dipper: Who are you and what do you want from me?

Reality Warper: Okay, sorry, Earthling. I'm just a lost explorer from some random dimension far from here. I got lost while trying to find out who invented nacho cheese. Anyways, I was just lonely and wanted to play a game with somebody. You suck at this game.

Dipper: Uh, thanks. Anyways, look, could you change everything back to normal?

Reality Warper: No can do, you have to win the game first! HAHAHA!

Dipper: But.. you... we just... you can't just... okay, fine, how do I play?

Reality Warper: [points to a portal at the top of a mountain far off in the distance] You must climb to the top of Mount Gravity and jump through the portal, which will bring you to the championship match! HEE HEE HA!!!

Dipper: What, but that's pretty much impossible?

Reality Warper: With me, anything's---

Dipper: Possible, yeah, yeah, I get it.

Reality Warper: Actually, mortal boy, I was gonna say anything's IMPOSSIBLE, but, you know, whatever floats your spaceboat! Ha! [teleports away]

Dipper: Oh boy...

Reality Warper's Voice: FLYING KNIFE SURPRISE ATTACK!

Dipper: What the---

A bunch of flying knives come flying at Dipper.

Dipper: Aaaah! [jumps out of the way] That was a close one.

Reality Warper's Voice: Laser dolphin from the future!

A giant purple dolphin pops out of a portal that quickly disappears after. The purple dolphin shoots lasers from it's nose at Dipper.

Dipper: That doesn't make sense!

Reality Warper's Voice: Bacon makes sense!

Dipper runs from the laser dolphin, dodging lasers.

Dipper: [gasping for breath] Gimme a break!

Reality Warper's Voice: Never!

Dipper quickly makes a turn, and the laser dolphin continues going forward.

Dipper sits down on the sidewalk and starts panting.

Dipper: How am I supposed to get out of this if you keep making up random death traps and obstacles to make it impossible?

Reality Warper's Voice: [monstrous voice] BECAUSE LIFE IS A JOKE TO ME! BWAHAHAHA!!!

Dipper: Joke... joke.... hmmm... [pulls out 3, which the Reality Warper turned into a joke book in the previous episode] A-ha! [reads a joke out loud] "What do you get when you mix a reality warper and water? A dead reality warper". Water? That's kind of stupid...

Reality Warper's Voice: Chicken nuggets is bacon!

Dipper's book explodes.

Dipper: Whoa!

A giant manotaur with Gideon's face appears in front of Dipper and attacks him.

Gideon/Manotaur Hybrid: [Reality Warper's voice] Die, human!

Dipper runs escapes the Gideotaur's clutches and runs away.

Dipper: Water, water... need... water!

Dipper checks every house in the town trying to get a cup of water, but all the water in the town has been replaced with lemonade.

Dipper: Oh, man...

Dipper pulls out the burnt joke book and reads one of the jokes out loud.

Dipper: "Lemonade is to water as chicken nuggets are to bacon?"